Hi guys! Welcome to episode 241 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! How’s it going out there? I hope you’re having a nice start to the day or maybe it’s the middle of the day and you’re working out or night, whenever you’re listening, I’m glad you’re here and I hope it is going well for you
I talk a lot about my personal experiences and I thank you for indulging me on that. I do it for my own benefit but also for your benefit too. I find that I can know something logically but when I hear someone give a real life example of how it worked for them or for someone they know, I can then visualize how it can work in my life and how to use it.
I work so hard on my mindset and sometimes I think because I have all the tools I should bounce right back from anything because the whole “I create my own reality” thing but we live in the real world and there are going to be things that happen in our life that hurt. That is hard. That feels like an attack on us personally. Welcome to the human experience right?
But because we are human. We also have to realize that in order to live life to the fullest, we have to put ourselves out there. We have to know that yes, I could fail, I could fall, I could be embarrassed, it could be really uncomfortable but I’m willing to risk the discomfort and the failure and the feelings because that’s what living life to the fullest is.
When we were growing up and learning to ride our bike for the first time, we knew we could fall and we knew we could get scraped up but we did it anyway because that was freedom. That was living. That was our first little taste of real independence. When we turned 15 and it was time to learn to drive, it was terrifying. I remember thinking I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be good at this. But the desire for my independence was waaaaaay stronger than my fear of driving on the highway.
And think about it. When you had your first fall on your bike, it may have been scary getting back on but the kids down the street wanted you to come hang out and it was much faster to ride then walk so you get back on and you ride and you’re so glad you did, and even though there’s that tough hill you have to struggle up you know on the other side you’ll pick up speed going down and that feeling of speed and the wind in your hair makes you feel so alive and you don’t think about that fall anymore.
And yeah the first few times (maybe a hundred times) we drove, we weren’t that good at it but now we don’t even think about it at all, we kept going in spite of our fear. Of course we did.
When did we stop that? When did it become the norm to pull back and play small because what if we fall?
We live in a society where you get a comfortable enough job, you have certain approved friends, certain approved activities, vacation once a year in a tried and true location never veering far from what we know. Every single day looks exactly like the one before because it’s safe. And you wonder why you feel empty sometimes or feel like you lack purpose or passion. It’s not too late for you to wake up every day and feel excited for the day, passionate about what you’re doing and hopeful that the best is yet to come. It is not too late and if you’re listening to this, this IS your message to pull that dream off the shelf and take the first step towards making it happen. I know it’s scary and yes you could fail and yes, you might feel embarrassed or you might be bad at it at first but wouldn’t you rather be going for something you really want than sitting around wishing you were? I would.
What are you doing that scares you? What would be your adult version of learning to ride your bike? What are you doing that takes you out of your comfort zone?
And it doesn’t have to be about success in business. It could be success in relationships, or your health. We get stuck in patterns and hold ourselves back there too. The easy thing is to blame someone else for where we are but the hard thing is to look deep and take responsibility for what we are creating in our life in every single area and sometimes that doesn’t feel good.
I talked recently in episode 228, how I got coaching personally from Brooke Castillo about my family. She coached me hard on this subject and I’ve thought a lot about how she said I was causing myself to be separated from the rest of my family by pulling away from them out of fear that they would also reject me. Brooke told me lovingly that because I was avoiding my mom and dad and my other sister I was causing my own rejection in advance out of fear that they would reject me.
At first I was like “No! It’s not my fault, I’ve always been the one that tries to keep everyone together and happy.” It’s them. They are the ones doing it. Well, I wanted to update you. Since that coaching I’ve done a lot of soul searching. I just hadn’t thought about it that I was the one causing it but I was. I know that because since that call I’ve been reaching out to my mom and dad and my older sister. And it’s true. I was holding myself back from them without being really conscious of it.
All because of fear. Fear of rejection. That doesn’t feel good to say but I say it anyway because I want you to be able to think about where you could be doing the same. My relationship with my mom and dad and my older sister has been so fun and easy in the last month because I’ve been reaching out in spite of my fear. I’m actually going to go help my mom in her garden and my older sister and I had a fun conversation for over an hour where we laughed so hard and it felt good and there’s a place in my heart that feels so good about it and I don’t know what the future holds there but I know I can love unconditionally and not be held back because of my own fears.
That’s my adult version of getting back on the bike after a fall.
What’s yours? Where are you holding yourself back because you’ve had a fall? Maybe you had a bad breakup and now you are afraid to get back out there because you don’t want to feel that bad again, but hanging on to that fear feels bad too. So why not choose the fear that has hope at the end of it? The one where you get back on that bike and it’s wobbly at first and the hill is hard but man when you go down on the other side you know it feels amazing.
Whatever it is. Challenge yourself to get back in the game. Every single day is a good day to start again, to start fresh. Think about when you were a kid and it was summer and you’re waking up just knowing it was gonna be a fun day. Just knowing you could do cartwheels and handstands and jump from the barn into the hay even if it was a Tuesday. Let’s not leave all the fun and all the new stuff to the kids anymore.
My challenge to you this week is to figure out one thing that you’ve put on the shelf because you feel like you’re too old, or it’s unrealistic at this point, or maybe because you’re just scared…. My challenge is to dust it off and take one step towards making it a reality. And even if it’s scary, and I hope it is…take the jump anyway. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
