Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 206 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Nice to have you here.
How’s your reality? How are things around you? The actual things you see. Not what you’re thinking about, not what you’re watching, not what you’re creating in your head as a possible problem, what’s actually in front of you?
Because when we really think about it and we start being aware of the actual facts of what’s going on we realize a lot of the problems we have are created in our head.
We had quite a few people over to our home for a party recently and if you’re listening to this in current time, we are still in the throngs of COVID and all that brings, anyway so we have a lot of people at our home, beautiful lovely people and there are conversations with the women, and these are acquaintances not close friends..two conversations that I happened upon that were all about the vaccine and it’s a big topic of course so sure it’s on our mind but I am part of these conversations and these women are precious, but they don’t really know me or what my thoughts are about the topic so they are just giving their opinions about getting it or not getting it. So I know why I’m attracting this kind of conversation it’s because we are heading to Belize in 10 days for our sailing trip and we have to have a negative COVID test to go and that’s a little stressful because this trip is one of the most fun, relaxing easy adventurous trips we do so COVID has been on my mind and I’m sure that is why these conversations came on my radar.
Now I have opinions about the vaccine. I think if you want it you should get it and if you don’t want it you shouldn’t get it. Who knew that would be controversial right?
So I replayed a few of the conversations in my head like we all do…and the thoughts my brain threw out were things like…I’m tired of being attacked, I’m tired of people judging me on things they know nothing about… and then I was like wait a minute…hold up. What was actually said and why am I making it mean something bad about me? Because we all do that too. So when I stepped out of my thoughts for a minute and got really clear on what was said I realized it wasn’t attacking me personally at all. Basically one lady said she thinks it’s insane not to get the vaccine and the other called her best friend a conspiracy theorist for not getting it…Had nothing to do with me at all. These are very precious women who I really enjoyed talking to but if I had let my brain just run away with random thoughts..I would have quickly talked myself into victim mode, I even considered calling my friend who thinks just like me and venting but now I’m creating more and more feelings of victim-hood, I’m rallying the troops, which is that going to calm things down or ramp things up? Just Because our brains want to start some trouble it doesn’t mean we have to let it. Ok? We control our brain when we’re living intentionally, when we are aware of our thoughts rather than lost in them.
And it’s easy to think our brain is in control if we just go with any thought it throws out there. It’s kind of like the old saying “the tail is wagging the dog”. It came to my mind when I was thinking about it so I looked the definition up to make sure it applies here and it’s perfect. What they mean when they say the tail is wagging the dog is the part that is less powerful is running the whole show. We are in control of our brains. We are not our thoughts. We are waaaaaay more powerful when we tell our brain..I can see what you’re doing there but that’s not serving us..I’m not about to give my power away to silly thoughts. I’m not going to villain people because they have an opinion I don’t share and I’m not going to be so egotistical that I think everyone I’m talking to has me in mind when they’re making their statements. They don’t. So stop taking everything so personally. There’s that ole thin skin my dad used to say I had rearing its head again. But now that I’m aware of it, I can just laugh and say “it’s not about me unless I make it about me”.
So when I started talking and I asked what is in front of you right now..that’s actually happening, that is actually part of your experience. That’s what I mean. I had a wonderful time at that party and those conversations were not negative at all, they were not trying to be rude at all…I was just being sensitive and a victim.
Now real quick. Let’s say those women did know how I felt and they still made those statements. Let’s say they actually did berate me for my stance on things. Am I the victim now? Heck no. Now I’m a person with a different opinion. I’m a person that believes something different. That’s all. Just because it feels justified to be angry or justified to feel victimized, doesn’t mean it’s serving you. It’s kind of like my husband likes to say when you have the right away but you see a car isn’t stopping for you..you don’t just go anyway, because you have the right away. You could be right, you’re dead..but you were right…we have to be smarter than that. Absolutely refuse to give anyone the power to make you a version of yourself that You don’t like. I don’t like to be angry, I don’t like to feel unworthy. But how often do we let our thoughts about what other people do or say make us feel angry and unworthy. No one should be allowed to have that power over you. They just want to feel significant and right. Let me…it doesn’t mean anything about you unless you let it.
And this is a work in progress. It isn’t always easy to do but I promise you..the more you’re aware of your actual surroundings and notice that a lot of our life and most of our problems are created right in our own head.
That’s why I love to write in my journal every morning…life is happening for me not for me.
Remember whatever you’re going through right now…make sure you’re not making it worse in your head. In fact, see if you can make it better. Ask yourself good questions..how is this working out in my favor? What good can I get from this? How can I use this to make myself better? Really good questions to ask.
My challenge to you today is just notice. Notice when your brain is making something worse than it is. Notice when it wants to make you into a victim.
Let’s agree to stop taking ourselves so seriously and let’s stop being so easily offended by others’ often harmless words and actions.
You’re not a victim. Stop playing one. And we all do it. But it never serves us long term. Our power lies in the ability to take responsibility for every single action and emotion we have. It’s really empowering to begin to know that deep in your core.
Share this with 2 people today. Don’t think about it, just do it. Pick 2. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
