Hi guys! Welcome to episode 201 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Well if you’re listening in real time, this is the first episode of 2022. If you’re listening after that keep listening..it’s all still relevant, arguably even more so.
So currently It’s a new year, and that’s when people usually set those good ole New Years resolutions. Do you guys know how long the average person keeps their resolution? I looked it up so I do know. Until January 12th. That’s under two weeks. Something like 80% of New Year’s resolutions are never realized.
That doesn’t give me and it probably doesn’t give you a lot of hope that those resolutions we’ve made are gonna happen.
So I propose we look at the New year in a new way. I’m gonna tell you what that is in a minute but first let me say this. If you plan to set a New Years Resolution and you want to be successful in keeping them…
Sometimes we fall short of our goals because we have this all or nothing mentality. So for instance let’s say we set a goal to lose 3 lbs a week until we reach our goal weight. I use this example because statistically most resolutions revolve around health in some manner. So we’ve set this goal and the first week..we nail it in fact we lose 4 lbs but the next week isn’t so great, we got a little slack in our eating or drinking, we went out with friends one too many times or maybe our body is adjusting or we weighed at a different time. There’s a million reasons why the scale could go up. But anyway we put one pound back on that next week…which kills our momentum and we say “see it doesn’t work” and we go right back to our normal way of life until the next new year. Sound familiar? I know it used to be for me.
There have been a lot of studies that show the result we want is not the definer of how successful we will be, it’s the process we follow to get the result.
There has to be a certain enjoyment you get from the process of reaching the goal otherwise it’s toast.
So if you’re setting resolutions right now and you’re excited about the result you want but you’re also dreading the thought of having to eat healthy or dreading the thought of having to go to the gym..just relax it will be over soon and it’s just a matter of time (about two weeks statistically) until you’ll be back to your regularly scheduled program. In order to stick with something there has to be an element of enjoyment. I know this to be true because I’ve seen it work in my life over and over.
I’ll give you an example…let’s say you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah and you’re the one that wraps all the gifts, you can appreciate that eventually all that wrapping gets old, especially if you have a big family! So I’ve started this new tradition of wrapping with friends. It’s the best. It makes what seems like a chore actually really fun and enjoyable because you’re laughing and wrapping and before you know it you’re done and you had fun doing it. I’ll never go back if I can help it. I found a way to make the process enjoyable.
Well the same thing applies to anything you’re trying to do. You have to find a way to enjoy something about it.
We go into it with so much motivation and anticipation only to find that the motivation is quickly depleted and the anticipation fades into acceptance that it’s easier to just throw your hands up throw in the towel, so to speak…with Wrapping gifts for me, when I was doing it alone, it usually ended up with me growing a good portion of the remaining gifts in bags with tissue and call it a day, which isn’t that bad but it’s not how I wanted it to go. When you find a way to enjoy the process, you don’t have to rely on motivation, which is a good thing, because motivation is fleeting. It comes and goes.
So back to the topic of New Year’s Resolutions…
I have some bad news. Don’t worry you know I’m gonna follow it up with good news. The bad news is your desire to accomplish that goal or that New Year’s resolution isn’t going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to numb it. It will be there and it will be the reason you feel bad because deep down you want this thing but you don’t seem to have the motivation or the discipline to see it through. If you have a desire to achieve something or to do something. That desire is for you, what you’re going through to achieve it is what life is all about. That’s what they mean by “the journey”.
So if you’re going to set New Year’s Resolutions just know that the element of enjoyment has to be there or you’ll last about 2 weeks.
Well, I propose we try this. What if you took the New year to take inventory. What if you just took inventory of where you are and then you take complete responsibility for how you got there. No blaming, no shaming, just acceptance that that’s where you are right now and it is exactly where you should be for your journey. Take inventory of what got you where you are right now. Good and bad. We focus on the bad when it comes to ourselves usually but take inventory of the good too.
More than likely this activity will show you a path forward to success in those areas where you’d like to improve.
So if you are killing it in your relationship…maybe it’s better than ever. Celebrate yourself, take full responsibility for that success and remind yourself why it’s so good and keep doing those things. Maybe you’re killing it in your job, celebrate that. Take responsibility for your success. Now, On the flip side..Maybe your weight isn’t where you want it. Accept that you’re here and this is the reality, then take full inventory of why it is where it is. We generally know, right?. We know what it’s going to take, but a lot times we play dumb And often we have something or someone to blame..my husband eats bad so I do, my kids eat bad so I do, my back hurts and that’s why I’m overweight and some of it sounds convincing and most people might even agree but that takes all the power out of our hands and puts it somewhere out of our control. Taking full responsibility for every aspect of our life gives us the ultimate power. It gives us the ability and the mindset that we can do something about it. And when we think we can do something..we can. I’d rather set no goal then to set one that I dread and then I give up only to feel worse than when I started.
And some of you are thinking whoa she’s the worst motivational speaker ever. Literally taking us out of setting New Year’s resolutions.
I guess you could look at it that way OR you could look at it for how I mean it…
Going into a new year recognizing and accepting that we have control over every aspect of our life is more empowering than setting a goal that we may keep for two weeks only to go right back to our normal behaviors.
We probably didn’t get to where we are in two weeks and we probably aren’t going to get out of it in two weeks either.
It’s all about the momentum of your mindset. You think you’re a victim of circumstance and there’s nothing you can do to change it? You are absolutely right but if you take inventory and you say “I know exactly what got me here and I take full responsibility for it…Now you’ve got the power to change it if you’re ready, that’s the only way it will work is when you’re ready. And you will know because you’ll be inspired to take this class or to read this book or join this group and you won’t be in a hurry to get there, you’ll just enjoy the process. You’ll enjoy the new way of eating and trying new things. You’ll enjoy the new Facebook group that you’ve joined or the team you’re working with at the gym where you all have similar ideas and goals. You see, goals aren’t bad, they’re good as long as you believe it’s possible for you. And that requires getting very comfortable with taking responsibility for the actions that got you where you are.
And You’re worthy just as you are today. You’re worthy of having the life you want. Do you believe that? I believe it for you.
So this is my challenge to you for this new year:
#1 Take inventory: Take inventory of your mental health, your physical health, your finances, your relationships and your career. Where are you now and what got you there in each of these areas. Something as simple as rating it from 1-10 That’s a very important part of this process. It might even be the hardest part. Because once you know what got you there, then you know what will keep you there. And if it’s something you’re celebrating..keep doing it but if it’s something you want to improve, you now know what you need to do to change it.
Then you have to #2 Take responsibility for it. Pat yourself on the back if it’s good, and acknowledge your complicity if it’s not. We may have good stories of why it’s not our fault and they may be justified but that doesn’t serve you, it gives your power away and it makes it seem unattainable. Accept responsibility for your role in it and feel the power of relief flood over you because now you can change it.
#3 Get clarity on where you want to be, do you know? Sometimes we have no real idea of exactly what we want so we’re always thinking it’s something or somewhere else. You might surprise yourself here…you may find you already have it, it just needs a little tweaking…but do this for each of those areas…mental health, physical health, finances, relationships and your career.
And Finally #4 Take inspired action. Only inspired action. Don’t force it. You’ll know the difference because it keeps popping up for you. The same book will show up. The exact course you need will show up at just the right time, you’ll notice that new yoga place and be drawn to go in and give it a try. When you get those little inspired thoughts, that’s your inner guidance system saying, “follow me here” or “get that book or that course, we need it”. Deep down you know what’s right for you and you know what it’s going to take to get what you want. You may not know every step but you know the first step and then the next step will show up, and when it does, be sure you take it.
That’s my New Year’s Resolution for you.
.Take Inventory of where you are
.Take responsibility for what got you there
.Get clarity on exactly what you want
.And then take inspired action if you want to make a change
Most successful people didn’t know the entire path when they first started but they took that first step which led them to the next logical step. This formula works with almost everything. When you do these 4 things you know where you are, you know how you got there, you know exactly what you want and you’re opening the door for inspired action… Now that’s a New Year’s plan I can sign on to…
Share this episode with as many people as you can.
I love you guys, it’s gonna be a good year, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
