Welcome to episode 634 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! I’m Heidi and I’m happy we are hanging out! If you’re new, welcome! I’m happy you’re here. Every single episode is about being the best that we can be and not getting distracted from that mission. Truly staying focused on Your purpose and your mission in whatever that is is kind of a super power right now because it’s easier than ever to just stay distracted…..and let autopilot take over and then you wake up at the end of the day and wonder why you got nothing done or you still haven’t finished that project…..I have been hyperfocused on that and I’m getting more done than I ever have. So keep hanging out with me, life is good and the best is yet to come, I truly believe that.
Ok, So This last week, my big sister and I put on a little luncheon at her house for my aunt and mom and dad and two cousins. One of my cousins was visiting from Boston. We don’t get to see her much so we thought we would put a little luncheon on in the middle of the day on Monday. It was so fun and we had made it like a tea party luncheon so it was fun and a little bit fancy and we loved it, but the reason I’m telling you this is we were sitting after we all had our lunch and we were just sitting there having a wonderful conversation and my cousin from Boston I was telling a story that was really important to her. It was about her son and my mom‘s phone rings and in my mind, I think oh I don’t. I’m sorry that the phone is ringing during her story, but that isn’t the worst. My mom picks the phone up and it’s my baby sister who we all adore and puts her on speakerphone and my mom wasn’t doing this because of rudeness at all, even though it was rude, but she didn’t think it was and my baby sister proceeded to tell a cute story about her turtle but my point is that this was a conversation that could have and really should have been had after lunch or at the least when there was a lull in conversation, most certainly not in the middle of someone’s story.
It reminded me of a story Tony Robbin’s told years ago about him having a meeting with a person in his office when his office phone rang, the one sitting on his desk, so they even have those anymore? I’m sure they do. Anyway. Tony ignores the call and continues on with the meeting, the person he’s meeting with says “aren’t you going to get that, it may important”. And Tony says “No I will get it later, you and I are meeting right now and that’s what’s important”. He said picking up the phone when you are with a person having a meeting or coffee or whatever is like saying, “hold on, this person on the phone is more important than you are”. And that holds true to today. Even more so because now days we have our phones attached to us at all times. And granted there are times where something may be going on or you’re waiting for a call and you have to have your phone on but let’s BeReal that is not the majority of the time.
We treat our phone as if it’s an additional person in the room and it’s not, it’s a distraction at best.
Imagine if your phone actually were a third person in the room—what would that relationship look like? Picture this: You’re constantly staring at them, fixated on every little thing they say or show you. You’re always wondering where they are if they’re not right by your side, or what they’re up to if you haven’t checked in for five minutes. If they go missing for even a short time, you start to freak out, feeling anxious and incomplete without them. Sounds a bit obsessive, right? Like an unhealthy attachment that borders on codependency. But that’s exactly how many of us treat our phones—giving them priority over the real humans around us. It’s a fun thought experiment that highlights just how out of balance things can get. By flipping the script like this, we see the absurdity and get motivated to set better boundaries because studies show that 82% of adults say that phones hurt conversation and bring down the atmosphere in a gathering at least occasionally, sometimes frequently. Now if that were a real person that had that reputation, they often hurt conversation and brought down the atmosphere in the room, they would soon be completely isolated because no one wants to be around that energy. yet we allow it from our phones every single day.
And look as I was creating this episode I had to give myself grace for my bad phone behavior in the past, because I feel a little guilty about it. I also know we grow and become more aware if we allow ourselves too and so we all have to give ourselves grace. And if you’re a person who doesn’t have this issue, I’m impressed and I admire that. But I think you’re in the minority, because it is an ongoing problem, I know it to be true because I see it all the time and it’s a topic on podcasts quite often meaning it matters to people. If it matters so much, why don’t we fix it?
We can but it has to be at an individual level. Like Ghandi said “be the change you wish to see in the world”. I can only change me and what I do. What I do may influence someone else or not, that’s not the point. The point is for each of us to be our best selves as often as we can. And that flows into making the world a better place.
There are times and places and benefits to our technology. I created this episode on my phone. I get good ideas from my phone. I stay connected to my family out of town on my phone. But it doesn’t even come close to being with them in person.
My mom in the story I told about our luncheon was really just wanting to connect with my baby sister and I don’t blame her at all for that. I really think she would be mortified if she realized that phone call had hurt the conversation and brought down the atmosphere in the room. It’s mom and I love her dearly and I want to blame the phone for that but that would be giving too much power to the phone, and the only way it has power is when we give it.
My challenge to you this week is notice how often you’re on your phone in the presence of other people. And maybe ask yourself “is my phone more important than them?” Share this with 3 people who have a phone. Ha. I love you guys I’ll talk to you in a few days!
