Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 575 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast. I’m your host, Heidi, and I’m so glad you’re here with me today. If you’re new, hit that subscribe button so you don’t miss out on these episodes that are all about leveling up your life in ways that feel real, relatable, and totally doable.
We’re gonna be great friends, I just know it! And if you’re not new, I’m happy you’re back.
So, How many of you guys make lists of things or goals you want to do or start doing daily? You know, like, “Oh, I’m gonna work out today,” or “I’m going to eat healthy starting right now”? I’m willing to bet most of you listening to the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast do that, which I love because I do it too. We’re all about that growth mindset here, right? But I was listening to Mel Robbins, I love her stuff, and she was talking about something on the other end of that spectrum. She does a “not-to-do” list, like an anti-to-do list. And at first, when she said it, I thought, “Oh, that feels kind of negative to me. I don’t wanna focus on the bad stuff.” But then, once she started explaining it, I was like, “Wait, I love this! That could really work.” It’s actually a super fun idea.
So, here’s the deal: She makes a list of things she wants to stop doing. Any bad habits or little things that might hinder her from being her best self, she adds them to this list. I love the idea because even though we have the goals we want to do, a lot of times we have a running narrative that we don’t even hear in the back of our mind that is quietly sabotaging those good goals, so an anti to do list may be just the thing to fix it! I was chatting with the guy who does my nails the other day—he’s awesome—and he was telling me about his girlfriend, who’s adorable and so cute. He says every single day, she tells him, “I can’t have a glass of wine tonight because tomorrow morning, I’m going to the gym early.” But then, the next day, when he wakes up, she’s still there in bed, scrolling on her phone for like an hour. He’ll say, “Hey, aren’t you going to the gym?” And she’s like, “Oh, I don’t feel like it today.” Her intention, her goal, was to hit the gym and feel amazing, but getting sucked into her phone kept her from it.
We all have these big ideas and goals that are gonna make us so much better—like, “This is it, I’m doing it!” But then, there’s this equally forceful thought or habit that sneaks in and stops us cold. In my opinion, it’s brilliant to have an anti-to-do list because not only do you stay aware of the things you need to do, but you also shine a light on the stuff that’s blocking you. Those blockers are pretty powerful, and if you don’t call them out, they win every time.
And we all have them, right? Sometimes they’re super subtle. Your to-do list? You write it down or think about it, and you’re like, “Yeah, tomorrow’s the day.” Writing it down helps make it happen more often, in my experience. But if it’s just a vague thought, like “I’ll do this tomorrow,” then boom—something else creeps in and derails you, and you don’t even realize it. That’s why it’s so important to notice ALL of your thoughts, you guys. Because there are these sneaky, subtle ones in there sabotaging you, and if you’re not paying attention, they run the show.
Take my friend’s girlfriend again: She wakes up with the thought, “I’m going to work out—let’s go!” But then she grabs her phone, starts scrolling, and an hour later, she’s still in bed, it’s too late, and she’s like, “Eh, tomorrow.” Then tomorrow comes, and you know what happens—the same cycle. And this isn’t judgmental at all; it’s just real life. It happens to all of us. So, yes, it’s great to have those positive things in mind that will make you better, but you’ve gotta be just as aware of the thoughts or actions that could sabotage them.
And they’re really sneaky sometimes, they will justify just about anything to get their way, that’s why we have to be aware and take a stand to stop them. I’ve been reading Dr. Mark Hyman’s latest book, Young Forever—oh man, it’s so eye-opening. He goes hard on how sugar is basically the main culprit for why we age so quickly, and I’m not about that fast-aging life. So, I have this goal to eat almost no refined sugar. And honestly, I do pretty well most of the time. But the other evening, I had a long day, Eric was out of town, and I was winding down. I thought, “I want a little something sweet—just a treat.” My mind was saying “you’ve done so well, live a little”. But it’s a Wednesday and I generally save “living a little” for Friday or Saturday night so my brain telling me to “live a little” during the week is not gonna work towards my goals, but it’s powerful, So, I go rummaging through the kitchen looking. And guess what? Nothing. I have zero sugary snacks in the house with refined sugar. Ended up eating a handful of granola—it has a bit of coconut sugar—and some organic black cherries from the fridge. Satisfied the craving without derailing everything.
I tell you this because one of our long-standing anti-to-do habits in this house is not keeping sugary foods around. It’s on my not-to-do list: “Do not buy or stock junk with refined sugar.” That way, it supports my to-do habit of staying sugar-free. It’s like building a safety net around your goals. If the temptation isn’t there, it’s way easier to stick to the plan.
So how could this work for you? You have to start small—don’t overwhelm yourself with a huge list. Grab a notebook or your phone notes, and jot down 3-5 things you want to stop doing that are holding you back. Maybe it’s “Don’t scroll social media first thing in the morning” if that’s killing your productivity. Or “Don’t hit snooze more than once” if you’re always rushing out the door. For me, another one is “Don’t say yes to every invitation when I need downtime”—because overcommitting drains my energy and keeps me from my self-care routines.
The key is to review this list daily, just like your to-do list. Make it a ritual: Morning coffee, glance at both. And be kind to yourself when you slip up—it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. Over time, these anti-habits become second nature, and suddenly, your goals start happening more effortlessly.
Think about it in terms of relationships too. Maybe you’re trying to build deeper connections, so your to-do is “Call a friend weekly.” But your anti-to-do could be “Don’t zone out on Social media when someone’s talking to you.” It’s all about clearing the path.
My challenge to you today is to make your own “Not to do” list! Contrary to my first thought, it isn’t negative at all; it’s empowering. It’s like being your own detective, spotting the villains in your story before they wreck the plot. Pair it with your positive goals, and watch how your life levels up.
Thanks for listening, you guys, you’re awesome. Remember, success isn’t about doing more; sometimes it’s about stopping the stuff that’s in your way. Share this with 3 people may be interested in why a “not to do list” is a perfect compliment to that goal list they have . I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days!
