Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 509 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! I’m happy you’re here. It feels good to be a part of something, doesn’t it? We get to be together for a few minutes a couple times a week and I love that, but there’s nothing like person-to-person connection. No technology can take the place of human in-person connection. Even if you don’t think you’re a people person, connecting is important!
We threw a party at our house recently. We saw people we hadn’t seen for a while. One of our friends came that we hadn’t seen in a few years. He went through a rough patch and we aren’t sure if he was isolating or what but he was here this time and everyone was so happy to see him. It was such a fun night. When he got home he sent my husband Eric a text and said “you don’t realize how much you miss your friends until you spend time with them again.” I loved that he said that because he’s so right. Sometimes when we go through rough times, we isolate for a number of reasons, maybe to protect ourselves, maybe to heal but a lot of times we make things up in our heads about what people are saying or thinking about our situation when in reality, we all go through things and more often than not, people just want to live and let live, they want to love and be loved, they want to feel a part of something and isolation is the opposite of that. We need to upend that trend. Friends are just too important to our overall happiness and sometimes we forget that because we get busy and life happens but we are meant to enjoy life. It’s not just about work, sleep, repeat. We are meant to be social. Is it possible we have just gotten out of the habit? Have we forgotten how to be social? How to cultivate strong friendships? Maybe we are just out of practice. It’s kind of an easy fix, really. We just have to remember how we made and kept friends as kids. We actually reached out. We begged our parents to be able to have friends over or go to their house. We made actual plans to meet up and hang out. We weren’t passive about getting together. We made it happen like it was our job. Friendships are important as adults too. And bonus. We don’t even have to get permission from our parents! I’ve talked about it before that in order to have a friend, you have to be a friend. Which means we make time for each other, we reach out, when you meet someone you really like, don’t hesitate to make a lunch date. And not a “let’s get together sometime” date. Make an actual plan otherwise it’s not gonna happen. I’ve been so guilty of seeing someone in passing and saying let’s get together and just keep walking knowing we both know that’s not gonna happen because we didn’t make a plan.
So it has to be an actual invite. Not a “we should get together sometime”. Eric and I laugh a little when people say that because we all know It’s never going to happen from that kind of statement. If there’s someone you would like to spend more time with, you have to actually make a little effort to make it happen. Maybe even going a little out of your comfort zone.
We’ve had people tell us before you guys should come to our lakehouse sometime. I have started telling them” well we would love to, but we aren’t going to show up out of the blue, so if you’re serious give us a few dates and we will make it happen. Otherwise, we all know it won’t. So yeah I think we’ve just kind of gotten out of the habit of making and cultivating strong friendships. And we need those friendships! The loneliness epidemic affects over half the population and it’s not just bad for your mental health, according to some studies it’s really bad for your physical health comparing loneliness to being as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That sounds crazy but actually feels true. There’s lots of reasons people give for why people are less and less connected in person like work from home, social media, Covid and technology makes staying home easy which becomes a habit and then you start feeling disconnected. It’s kind of a vicious cycle that only you can fix. The longer you wait the harder it will be! My thought is for each of you listening to reach out and invite people for a dinner party. Let’s make dinner parties great again.
I read this week that dinner parties used to be such a big thing and now they aren’t for all the reasons I have above.
And you know what? There’s not a lot I love more than a gorgeous dinner party in a beautiful setting with close friends and new friends too.
Eric and I love having dinner parties. It doesn’t have to be super fancy even though I like for them to be. A lot of times we grill chicken and everybody brings a dish or an appetizer. We have a fire on the deck, set the lighting beautifully and spend time talking and laughing and catching up. And look your brain is throwing out all kinds of reasons not to have a dinner party right now, I know it is. Maybe it’s saying your home is good enough…. I hear people say we are going to have a dinner party when we have our house the way we want it but when’s that gonna be? We have renovated our whole house and there are still things that I promise Eric my husband would like to fix. I think most people just love feeling included so don’t let your thoughts keep you from welcoming people into your home. And hey, there’s nothing like a dinner party to forcing you to get your house in tiptop shape! Many times I’ve done a whirlwind cleanup or organization or finally getting the chairs cleaned all because I’m having guests over!
I’m on a mission with this episode to make dinner parties great again! That’s my challenge to you this week. Have a dinner party, accept an invitation for one or at the very least reach out to one person and make a date for lunch. Loneliness begets loneliness because we tend to pull away when we’re lonely. One little step could break that cycle but you’re the only one that can do it. Share this with three friends that you’d love to connect with. I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days!
