Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 510 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! It’s awesome to be with you. I love feeling connected to you guys every week even thoughI don’t know all of you, I feel we are kindred spirits because we know life is what you make of it and we know that every day that we have a positive mindset is gonna be a good day. We aren’t always perfect but we never give up and I love that.
I was thinking this last week about how much life changes. It’s kind of crazy isn’t it? I mean, change is inevitable every single one of us experiences change in one way or another. And if you’re like me, sometimes I don’t like it. Sometimes I just want things to go back to the way they were. But that’s me fighting reality. The reality is life is constantly changing and if we don’t evolve right along side of it, then we are left behind wishing or waiting for things to go back to the way it used to be, but it never will. Is that harsh? I don’t want it to be, I just want us all to accept that life is a never ending episode of change change change. But we as humans like familiarity and comfort so It’s pretty common to want things to stay the same.
When you live a big life and you have a lot of friends and family, it is inevitable that things are going to change and when they change sometimes it’s sad and it’s painful and and you want things to slow down or you want things to go back to the way they used to be. But you can never go back. We’re always meant to move forward. It’s just whether we look forward with an optimism or we look forward with the thought that the best was behind us.
Our good friends some of our dearest friends had his retirement party. They retired from FedEx he fly. He flew with Eric for many years and these friends always had the Company Christmas party at their house. They had a big beautiful house and so we always had a big Christmas party every year as long as I can remember I think it’s been probably 20 years that they’ve been having this party so they retired from flying this last week and we went to their home for lunch after the retirement and it’s bittersweet because they are moving. They sold their house. It’s gonna close on January 7 and as we’re walking out of their house I said to Eric This is probably the last time we’re gonna be in this house and we have had so many good times in that house and it made me sad and that we were driving home I was sad and it was a rainy day and cloudy and so I say being sad for a little bit And I’ll let myself be sad because I’m gonna miss that but then as I often do, I search for ways to be optimistic sometimes that’s hard because life happens and there was part of me saying there’s nothing to be optimistic about in this situation because we’re really gonna miss those friends and we’re really gonna miss that party and that being part of our Christmas celebration every year But if you think about that, it’s kind of a fatalistic thought because it’s implying that there’s not gonna be a equally or even more fun party that this opens up to there may be a new tradition that we find that is just fine or more fun. I mean it’s always thinking that The best is behind us or they’ll never be another group like that group or life will never be this good again. These are fatalistic thoughts and they do nothing but cause us unnecessary pain.
My husband said when he was in the military there was a camaraderie that was unlike anything he thought he would ever see again. He became so close to several of the guys he was with. The military is a tight knit group for a lot of people, but a lot of people don’t make the military their career, some do. But the that don’t, get out and move on to other jobs. so when Eric was leaving the military it was hard for him and his friends because they were moving on to different companies and different parts of the country, and some different parts of the world. Eric didn’t think he’d find that sort of group dynamic again. But here he is at FedEx for the last almost 25 years, he’s been at this company and for the last about 20 he has had friends that are as close if not closer than the ones that he was in the military with. Oh and bonus, he still is close with his buddies from the military, they get together once a year. My point being is if you leave yourself space for the idea that the best is yet to come…it will.
I can remember when I was single and dating and I would be in a relationship with someone and I would think I don’t want anyone but this one person. No-one else could even come close and then that relationship ended and once I found a new relationship, which I was open to so it happened, but once I found a new relationship, I would think, man, I’m so glad that old relationship didn’t work out because this one is so much better. You see, even when you’re sad, if you can leave space to feel peace, or leave space for the idea that there’s something even better on the way, when it shows up, you’ll be open to it.
I had a friend that told me when she first started college, she missed her high school friends and so every weekend she headed home to hang out with them instead of staying at college trying to build new friendships. Eventually the friends back home moved on and once she started hanging out with her college friends, she realized that these people were just as fun, sometimes even more fun than her friends she had in high school.
Sometimes we box ourselves in by saying “the only way I can be happy is if things are this way or if this person is here or if this person weren’t here. We say things like “Christmas will never be the same” or “I will never be happy again unless this happens or that happens”. “I’ve heard a few people say I don’t have room for new friends, I don’t want new friends, but what if you missed out on meeting your best friend ever? Maybe maybe not, but closing yourself off to new opportunities can be problematic when inevitably life changes. Because look when one door closes, another one opens. When we box ourselves in, we shut off the opportunity to even see the new door, let alone walk through it.
We all have endings and we all have new beginnings. There’s things that change that we wish would stay the same or go back to the way it used to be. There are people we wish were still around and new people that we welcome in. It’s being open to those new things that makes it possible.
My challenge to you this week is to notice if you ever have fatalistic thoughts like “There will never be another person for me” or “I don’t need to meet new people” or “I don’t love Christmas like I used to because this person is gone”. These types of thoughts are common but their harmful. Don’t box yourself in. The best is yet to come can be true for you too but you have to be open to it. Share this with 3 people who the best is yet to come for them, I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
