Hi guys! Welcome to episode 176 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast!! Did you wake up this morning juiced? Did you wake up excited for the day? I love asking these questions because I used to not. And my life was good, I had nothing to complain about, but when I would hear people say they can’t wait to get their day started and they were juiced about what they had going on. I didn’t have THAT going on.
I have a gorgeous, loving husband, a beautiful home, I get to travel (of course it’s a little different right now due to COVID but that has made us explore new options, which I also love). But there for a while, I felt like I was getting a little too comfortable. I felt like life is good but there is still more for me to do. Of course there is!
We are here to create new experiences, new connections, new reasons to feel alive. We are not here to create just enough to get us to a place of comfort and then coast the rest of the way until we retire and do what? Doesn’t that seem like the acceptable, cookie cutter formula for the average person? But we aren’t average.
Anyway, here’s the thing. If you’re listening to this, my guess as always is that you are looking for more out of life than just the run of the mill, wake up, work, eat, watch TV, sleep, on repeat every single day. For some that is tolerable but not for me and not for you either.
So. What’s stopping you? Because we probably have a lot more in common than you realize if you consistently listen to me. We get excited about the prospect that there’s more to life out there and we want to explore it. But because you are like me, you probably have some of the same limiting thoughts that I have had…and they usually start with “I don’t know”
I realized recently that that is one of my pet peeves. I do NOT like hearing that statement,
I don’t know
I don’t know how
I don’t know what I want
I don’t know what to do next
I don’t know how to get there
Now some of you are thinking well, sometimes you don’t know how. And you would be extremely 100% correct. Most of the time, if you’re doing something new you won’t know how. So, I am going to introduce a caveat to my pet peeve. I actually love hearing that statement when it is followed up with but I will find the answer. “I don’t know, but I will find the answer”
You know why that last part is so important? Because a lot of times people (and I include myself in that too) use the statement, “I don’t know” to basically end the discussion, to pass the buck, or worse yet to end the thought that it’s even possible.
When I had this strong desire, this drive, to start my podcast…I had a few people tell me “There’s a lot to that that you don’t know how to do”. “That’s too complex right now”. “You aren’t ready for that” which of course, I basically took as a challenge. But guess what? I didn’t know how to do it, but my desire to do it was so strong that I knew it was the right thing and nothing was going to stop me from figuring it out, which I did and that’s why we are here today!
It was important to me to figure it out and of course, I had the same thoughts we all have when we are starting something new. My brain would throw out the thoughts like “Nobody will listen”, “what will people think, will they judge me?” “Or what if I fail?” But every single podcast that ever started had to build an audience so of course no-one would be listening at the beginning and people generally are not that concerned with what you’re doing. They may be curious, but for the most part they have their own things going on so what I’m doing is not a big deal in other people’s minds, that’s something my ego wants to believe but it simply isn’t true. And humans are going to judge you, that’s a human trait, so do you want them to judge you for something you didn’t do or for something you DID do? Because those are your options and never forget what Wayne Dyer always said “Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. And What if I fail…the only way I fail is if I quit…and I’m not a quitter and neither are you, especially if you practice your “I’m not a quitter” phrase that I talked about in Episode 175. Go back and listen to that one if you haven’t.
And sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are using the “I don’t know” statement. Our brain will just subtly put it out there when you are dreaming of doing something new and you just accept it as true and move on to the next thought. Or worse, you have this dream, this thing you want to do…you don’t know how to do it, but instead of finding the answer of how to do it, the not knowing how makes you uncomfortable, and of course we don’t want to feel discomfort so you distract yourself by scrolling social media, which takes the discomfort away but it also takes away the possibility of you ever reaching that dream.
Do you see the destructive pattern? It isn’t the “I don’t know” thought that’s the problem. It’s the action you take after the I don’t know thought that matters. If you distract yourself from the discomfort or you allow that “I don’t know” thought to end the possibility of you ever doing it.
And sometimes, you may figure out the answer and you realize that it’s not for you and THEN you can move on to the next experience. For a long time I would see these rock climbing walls and it looked fun but it wasn’t something I had done before, my brain would have thoughts like “I don’t know if I need to wear a certain shoe, or when I can go in and climb or even if I would look silly attempting. It took about 5 minutes of talking to one of the climbing trainers to get those answers..so I gave it a shot and it wasn’t awful but it wasn’t something I was dying to do again. That’s the thing….you are going to have ideas that you think you want and it’s your job to figure out which ones are meant for your journey, but you won’t know until you try it. And trust me your brain wants to keep you safe and snuggled at home so it will always throw out some sort of “I don’t know statement” to end the thought right away. But don’t let it. You’re here to create new experiences and to figure out what your path of least resistance is to everything you want, but you’re not going to get there by giving into the “I don’t know” thoughts.
My challenge to you this week is to be aware every time you hear the thought in your head “I don’t know” and follow it up with but I will find the answer. As soon as you add that, your brain will start looking for the answer…and then you can decide with full knowledge whether that thing is for you or not. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
