Hi guys! Welcome to episode 534 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! What’s going on? Im happy you’re here. Don’t forget to give me a 5 star review if you’re loving the episodes! It means a lot to see them and read the reviews!
Has someone ever done something that set you back or hurt you and you just can’t seem to get over it? Maybe you have thoughts of wanting to show them up or get them back. This has been on my mind because I had a conversation with a friend this week and it really got me thinking about long term vs short term thinking.
My friend that I was talking to this is a device rep, she sells products to hospitals. A couple months the purchasing director for one of her big hospitals decided one of her main products was too expensive so she pulled it from the shelves. Now, This was a big blow to my friend but a huge savings for the hospital and looked very good for the purchasing director. That person was doing what she thought was right for the hospital and also for herself because it’s her job to save the hospital’s money so even though she’s friends with my friend, she still had to make the hard decision that “hey we’re not gonna use your product anymore”. Of course my friend is devastated and considered going around this purchasing friend to her boss to try to get the decision changed, but decided against doing that when her gut advised against it. she thought you know what long-term this person is going to be in purchasing probably for a very long time and even though I might get a short term win, in the long run, it could be a huge mistake. My friend’s gut instinct told her it was a good idea to just take the loss and try to make up for it with other sales. In a world where so many people want quick fixes or short term wins, long-term thinking is actually a huge flex.
Who hasn’t heard the saying “success is the best revenge”. The reason why I love that statement it is telling everyone that when you focus on doing the right thing, and you move forward with that agenda and only that agenda you’re ability to reach “flow” status is so much more likely. Flow is when you’re in the zone so you’re focused and enjoying the activity, time seems to disappear and performance is at it’s peak. This is where our biggest wins come in, during flow state. But, working towards getting revenge puts you on a trajectory that is harmful frankly because you’re not working to make yourself better you’re not working to do what’s best, No, You’re working to get someone else back to actually hurt someone else because of your perceived hurt. That is short term thinking. That doesn’t usually turn out well in the long run. You may get a quick win but what did you sacrifice to get it?
When your thoughts and actions are being motivated by revenge or by trying to beat someone else, you may think you’re heading in the same direction as success, but you’re actually not. You think you are paving your path to success but what you’re actually doing is keeping one eye on someone else’s success and one eye on your own. That’s half the bandwidth of your brain going towards what someone else is doing in order to “win” or to “show them”. You’re blocking yourself in order to get back at someone else.
The single best thing you can do if someone tries to get you down or does something that intentionally hinders you is to keep on doing what you believe is the right thing. Now if my friend felt in her gut that the right thing was to go around her purchasing friend to her boss to try to get the product back on the shelf then that’s what she should do but if it didn’t feel right even though she thought it might work for a short term win, it was a no go. In the last podcast I talked about how we aren’t our cravings we are the awareness of our cravings. This awareness is the same awareness that guides us all day every day. The one telling you “hey this doesn’t feel right”. It’s the one telling you “hey” don’t say that thing you’re about to say, or do that thing you’re about to do. How many times have you said to yourself “I knew that was gonna happen” or “I knew I shouldn’t have done that”. How many times do we have to hear that before we start listening?
You see we all have a dark and a light side of our personalities. You probably know this about yourself because often they will conflict with each other. The dark side wants revenge. The light side only wants you to thrive. And you can’t thrive when you’re hellbent on revenge. Revenge feels good for a moment but what have you sacrificed on your way to get it? The trajectory of Success looks very different when you’re focused on your dreams than when you’re focused on showing up the person that perceivably took something from you.
Back to the conversation with my friend. I have an update on that. Not only did that decision cause my friend to make tons of new contacts because she hit the ground running making all kinds of new contacts in her effort to make up for the deficit, but she also got a call from her purchasing friend that she wanted to sort of make it up to her by using another product that she had That is ultimately going to help her in the long run. She listened to her gut. She didn’t go for revenge and instead just looked for new opportunities. And now she has wins everywhere that she can be proud of and she didn’t burn any bridges on her way there.
It may feel good to want revenge but the energy we put into it is energy we could be using to strengthen our own position.
Don’t look for revenge. Look for success.
My challenge to you today is to think about a situation where you feel someone has hurt you or set you back, it could be recent or long ago but still lingers, how much emotional energy are you still giving this person or event? The real challenge is to shift that energy towards something positive in your life, like your future success. We choose where our energy goes. Like Tony Robbins likes to say “Energy flows where focus goes”. Do you want your energy to go towards revenge or towards your personal success? Share this with 3 people whose energy inspires you! I love you guys I’ll talk to you in a few days!
