Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 595 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I’m Heidi, and I’m so happy you’re here. This show is all about living with intention, finding balance, and making choices that lead to a life you love. This episode is all about something I think we’ve all experienced—those moments when someone asks for your honest opinion, and you’re like, “Uh-oh, how do I handle this without hurting feelings?” I ran into this head first this week, well almost, funny thing is this was already my topic for this episode. I had already decided it based on an earth shattering quote from Thomas Sowell, well it was in my brain when I read it anyway, so I will share it with you in a minute, but first….
Here’s what happened to me…. I’m at the gym for one of my favorite weight lifting classes—you know, the kind that leaves you feeling like you can conquer the world, feeling like a million bucks because it’s hard but fun at the same time and the instructor is so good. But this time, there’s a last-minute switch-up. Our regular instructor is out, and we’ve got a substitute, remember last minute. Now, this sub is brand new, just starting out, and I can tell she’s thrown into this class with, like, zero prep time. She even tells us that. I mean, I was so grateful to her for stepping up, right? The other option was a note on the class door that it’s canceled when you’re all geared up for a great workout, so I’m already cheering for her in my head.
But, y’all, the class was… well, let’s just say it wasn’t the smoothest. She was kind of all over the place—giving instructions while we were already supposed to be doing the moves, switching sets before we could even catch up, and it was just a little chaotic. Totally fixable stuff, though! She’s new, she’s learning, and I have no doubt she’s gonna be amazing once she gets her confidence. You have to start somewhere and Experience is the best teacher, isn’t it?
The interesting thing though was.… After class, she’s walking around, super eager, asking people, “Hey, how’d I do? What’d you think?” And I could feel the awkwardness in the room. One of the regulars, her face turned beet red, and she just mumbled, “Fine, fine,” before scurrying off. Another person was like, “Oh, it was great!”—but you could tell they were just being polite. Me? I somehow ninja’d my way out of having to answer. I was grabbing my water bottle, pretending to be super focused on my post-workout stretch. Because, honestly, I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to crush her spirit.
Later that night, I was chatting with my husband, Eric, about this. If you’ve listened to the show before, you know Eric is my go-to for practical wisdom. He’s got this amazing ability to be direct with people in a way that’s kind and constructive, even when the truth isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. So, I asked him, “Eric, how would you have handled it if she asked you how she did? Like, you don’t want to lie, but you also don’t want to make her feel bad.”
He said, “Heidi, I deal with this all the time at work. When someone asks for feedback, I always start with two or three things they did really well. There’s always something to praise, even if it’s small—like her enthusiasm or how she showed up under pressure. Then, I’ll gently point out two or three things they could tweak to make it even better, like clearer instructions or pacing the class differently. That way, they feel supported, not attacked.”
Isn’t he so wise? I love that approach because it takes the sting out of the feedback. It’s like saying, “Hey, you’re already doing great things, and here’s how you can shine even brighter.”
That conversation with Eric got me thinking about how often we dodge giving honest feedback because we’re afraid of the blowback. How many times has someone asked for your opinion, and you just told them what they wanted to hear? Maybe it’s a coworker who asks, “What’d you think of my presentation?” and you say, “It was awesome!”—even though you zoned out halfway through. Or a friend who shows you their new outfit, and you’re like, “Love it!”—when deep down, you’re not so sure.
We do this because it feels easier, right? We don’t want to hurt feelings or deal with an awkward moment. But here’s the thing: when we avoid the truth, we’re not really helping anyone. So that quote I mentioned earlier by Thomas Sowell that hit me so hard when I heard it was this: “When you want to help someone, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.”
Oof. Let that sink in for a second. When we sugarcoat things or dodge the question, we’re often just protecting ourselves from discomfort. But when we give honest, thoughtful feedback—like Eric’s approach of balancing praise with suggestions—we’re actually helping someone grow. That substitute instructor? She was asking for feedback because she wanted to get better. By mumbling “fine” or dodging the question, we’re not giving her the tools to improve.
Now, I’m not saying we need to go around critiquing everyone all the time. There’s a time and place for feedback, and it’s gotta come from a place of kindness. But when someone asks for your honest opinion, they’re opening the door. They’re saying, “I trust you to help me grow.” That’s a gift. And we can honor that by being truthful in a way that lifts them up.
So, here’s what I’m taking away from this, and maybe you can too: the next time someone asks for your feedback, try Eric’s method. Find a couple of things they’re doing well—because there’s always something—and then offer one or two specific ways they could improve. Maybe it’s, “I loved how confident you were in that meeting, and next time, maybe try pausing between points to let it sink in.” Or, “Your energy in that class was so contagious, and I think clearer cues would make it even easier to follow.”
It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real. And when you approach feedback with love and intention, you’re not just helping someone else—you’re building trust, fostering growth, and living in alignment with your values. That’s what a wildly successful lifestyle is all about, right?
So here’s your challenge for this week: the next time someone asks for your opinion, don’t dodge it. Take a deep breath, channel your inner Eric, and give them feedback that’s honest and helpful. Maybe it’s a coworker, a friend, or even a family member. Notice how it feels to show up authentically in that moment. It empowers them AND it empowers YOU.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who may want to take their authenticity to the next level. I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days!
