Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 511 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Thanks for being here, it means a lot to me because I am so pulled to do this podcast and I’m not sure if it’s for me or for you or for the person you share it with, but I know I’m meant to do it and if you’re listening you are meant to hear it. So I’m glad we are making the world a better place together. You guys are the best. I mean that. Ok.
In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.
No matter how hard the world pushes against me there’s something stronger, something better pushing right back. That was a quote by Albert Camus that podcaster Lex Friedman posted on X this week.
I think I will keep that one in my pocket of thoughts that make me stronger. Because most of us don’t just walk around feeling empowered and strong and confident and positive 100% of the time. So it’s good to have little thoughts like that in our back pocket that bring light to the dark because even though we are meant to be happy and we are meant to thrive and enjoy life that doesn’t happen by accident. I used to think I was doing life wrong because there were things that happened that felt really bad or because I would make a mistake that hurt me or maybe others too. But now I know that’s all part of living a big life. I don’t want to play small so that I shield myself from feeling pain or sadness. It doesn’t work anyway. No matter who you are or where you’re from life at some point is going to throw something at you out of nowhere and you’re gonna be like what is this? Wow that was not what I was expecting. At some point it will feel like the world is pushing against you, maybe you think that’s happening right now, maybe you think it’s always happening. Maybe it happened in the past at some point. But I want to point out that here you are, pushing back, getting stronger, making yourself better. I know that because you’re listening to this podcast about being Wildly Successful and deep down there’s something in you, in all of us that pushes back when life gets hard.
When my husband Eric lost his medical back in May, he’s a pilot and pilots have to pass a medical every 6 months in order to keep flying. it was hard on him and it was hard on me. Not only were we worried about his health…but being a pilot That’s part of his identity and for me, I love him being a pilot and it’s our livelihood so that’s scary too. Life felt like it was pushing us a bit, the initial thought a lot of us have and the initial questions a lot of us ask when life pushes us is why is this happening to me to us? We try to do everything right what did we do to deserve this? A lot of times the initial shock of a scary life event will have us feeling like life is against us, it’s pushing us, maybe bullying us. And that’s normal, that’s ok to feel that way in those first moments to have all the feelings that come up immediately. But remember when I said earlier that being happy, that thriving, that enjoying life doesn’t happen by accident? This is where the rubber meets the road for a lot of us. This is where we decide whether we are going to play the victim to life’s inevitable circumstances or if we are going to listen to that pulling inside of us that wants us to push back that’s stronger and better and knows that we are not a victim unless we succumb so we have to push back, not in a forceful angry way but in a way that brings us peace. That’s what our inner guidance system always wants. It’s not always possible to feel happy when life pushes us but it is always possible to find peace. And peace doesn’t happen by accident. And it doesn’t happen from woah is me or victim status and it doesn’t come from anything outside of us. It comes from inside. It comes from that pulling inside of us asking us to push back.
Eric and I over the last 6 months have found peace through the KNOWING that this is in someway working in our favor. By asking the questions that empower us instead of making us victims. I mean how different is the answer you get when you ask how is this working in my favor VS what did I do to deserve this? Because your brain is hardwired to answer the questions you bring it. When we ask what did I do to deserve this bad thing happening…your brain goes oh, let me see..well back in high school you did this bad thing and oh maybe you were drinking too much ,and also you’ve been judging people too…it will just give you all the reasons your brain can muster up of why you deserve it and have you feeling so bad that now you’re depressed and overwhelmed at how bad things are. Contrast that to the answers you get when instead you ask “how is this working in my favor?” Well it has gotten us serious about our nutrition and workouts. It’s made us take a good look at everything we are doing to stay healthy and I’ve said this about Eric’s heart issue that thank goodness it happened because he got it fixed quickly and didn’t do so much damage to his heart. wow things really are working in our favor. We are so blessed.
The difference is obvious and life changing when we push back from the place inside us that’s stronger and better and wants to come out on the other side of this finding peace and if we are really ask the right questions, finding happiness and thriving again.
When the rubber meets the road, it means when you’re getting traction when you’re taking off. I’m Which direction are you heading? Thats what we control, the trajectory of what happens next when it feels like life is pushing against us. There’s definitely something inside of us that’s stronger and better pushing back. It’s always there and it’s in every single one of us and we feel it. But sometimes we have to shake ourselves to bring it out. When bad things happen initial feelings of shock and why is this happening to me are normal but we were given this built in inner guidance system that can guide us out, it can and will guide us to the other side of this but it’s not gonna happen by accident. It’s not gonna happen on autopilot. Years ago When my little sister molly was bathing my two King Charles cavaliers for extra spending money while she was in college, Jasper one of our little guys got too excited and his heart just gave out when he was running around the bathroom. I happened to be right outside the door and heard her scream and now both of us are in a panic and are basically freaking out and crying. Eric hears the commotion from his office and comes running in and once he realizes what has happened he grabbed us both by the shoulders and said to molly I need you to go get the keys right now and Heidi, I need you to get Jack our other cavalier and he picked Jasper up and within seconds we were in the car on the way to the emergency vet. He had to shake us awake because we were making things worse by crying and freaking out. Now things didn’t end well that night, we lost Jasper but because of Eric’s calmness, he died in peace and we knew we had given him every chance to survive because we got him so quickly to the vet. It’s ok to have emotion. That’s human and normal. But at some point in a crisis in order to guide yourself towards peace you have to be intentional about what you do next. You can’t let things get so bad that you don’t think there’s a way out. You have to be intentional about what you do next.
When tough things happen, we have to be tougher. And we have it in us to be. But we have to make sure that the things we are doing every day set us up to be the best we can be so that when things happen we don’t just succumb to every bad thought. We don’t become a victim of our circumstance. We become the creator of the path forward by doing something as simple as asking the right question. For me it’s always the same. How is this working in my favor and what good can come from this? Those two questions are as powerful as the quote I started this episode with about the strength we have inside of us that pushes back when life pushes against. And if all else fails and it feels like all is lost you may need someone to shake you out of it like Eric did with me and Molly and that may mean you have to ask for help by reaching out to a close friend, someone you love, someone you trust or even a help line. Which I will put in the show notes.
My challenge to you this week is not to fake a feeling of happiness when life is pushing against you. My challenge is to be intentional about the steps you take after the initial shock of something bad happening. The emotions you feel are temporary, the trajectory you put yourself on by what you do next may not be. So be intentional with the next step like your life depends on it. My advice is to ask yourself in every situation no matter how bad..how is this working in my favor and what good can come from this. The answers to either of those questions will set you on a path that at least finds you at peace and at best finds your way back to thriving. That’s what I wish for you. Share this with 3 people who deserve to be thriving. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
