Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 129 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! It’s the beginning of a new month as I write this and I have been listening to you guys about what you love and what you would love to hear. I have decided on a new format for the weekly episodes. Starting this week I will still have two episodes but both will be short and empowering. I will still do interviews but it will be one really impactful, powerful interview per month, so the last week of every month will have 3 episodes with one being an interview, always dealing with something that makes us better. Adaptation in life is crucial to a wildly successful lifestyle so I am adapting to your feedback, which I love by the way, so keep it up by emailing me at heidi@heididawson.com to let me know what topics you’d love to hear !
All this talk about worthiness the last few episodes got me thinking. When you feel worthy, you start noticing that maybe you’ve been tolerating some things in your life that you are no longer willing to tolerate, specifically in relationships. Relationships are the icing on the cake, they are the cherry in the sangria! Hopefully, they are making your life better because they should!
My husband and I have a favorite local restaurant that we go to pretty much once a week. When we go, I usually order a red sangria. I know that sangria is going to taste wonderful. It doesn’t always taste exactly the same, but it usually tastes really good, sometimes it’s better than other times, there has only been one or two over the years that I’ve had to send it back to have them remake it and when it has come back, there it is delicious, just like I expected it to be. Usually they put one of those sweet cherries in it and if I’m lucky sometimes they will put 2! My point is that most of the time the sangria is fab, sometimes it is extra special and every once in a while I have to have a little wake up call to the bartender that it wasn’t right and of course, they fix it. How many of you can think of a relationship in your life that is like my sangria from Ciao Bella? Most of the time good, even though it isn’t alway exactly the same, sometimes it’s extra special and sometimes you have to have a little chat to rectify it to make it how it should be.
That is how a real authentic relationship should feel.
Now that you value your self worth. You’re going to find you want authenticity from your relationships, starting with yourself. You’re just going to keep getting better and better as you grow, that’s a really good thing but it could cause you to cringe when you think of your past. Hopefully, You look back on your life and realize that some of the relationships that weren’t great built you into who you are today. But also some of the things you did in the past or tolerated in the past, may have been because you were in survival mode, some of those things make you feel a little embarrassed, but you’re human and you’re evolving and those things added to who you are today. Don’t look at it and beat yourself up, look at it and pat yourself on the back for who you are today that you have come this far and grown to the point you would not do that again. You are NOT your past. Tony Robbins says your past does not equal your future unless you let it. You can’t change your past, but you CAN control who you are today and who you are today is worthy. You are worthy of great fulfilling, authentic relationships. So think about the relationships you have in your life. How are they going? I’m talking about your personal relationships…your friends and family. Have you been tolerating some things that deep down you know you shouldn’t be? Maybe you want to make the relationships you have even better because you are realizing more and more how important authentic connections are and that you are worthy of those relationships that support, inspire and uplift you.
I have a friend I’ve had for 20 years. I actually view her like family. She’s been there more for me than some of my blood family and I hope I do that for her. Sometimes she will call and I’ll be in the middle of something and forget to call back. In my head we are so close that I think she knows I love her and would never purposely ignore her and if I was irritated by something I’d tell her. In other words I think she can read my mind. But guess what? She can’t read my mind, nor can I read hers. It hurts her feelings when I don’t call back for a few days. I did send her a quick text later to say hey, sorry I didn’t call you back, love you! When I talked to her the next few days, she in a roundabout way said it hurts her feelings when people don’t call her back, but she also thanked me for sending her a text letting her know I had gotten the call. I was genuinely thankful for her letting me know that it hurt her feelings when I didn’t call her back. Come to think of it, it hurts mine too when someone doesn’t call me back and if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d feel the same. Now, had she never said anything, I would have never known and maybe it would have festered to the point where it was a problem. Good friends are hard to come by, don’t take them for granted, but also if something is really bothering you, a true authentic relationship allows you to talk about it so that it doesn’t get worse. This includes friends and family members. Think of it this way…
If I decide to drink the sangria that tastes bad because I am too embarrassed or too timid to say anything, that’s on me. It isn’t the restaurant’s fault at that point. That’s my fault. We have to speak up in our life and if we don’t then we are choosing to live with the consequences. That may sound a little harsh, but we are transforming our life here, sometimes it’s going to be uncomfortable…good thing we are ok with discomfort because we know that’s when we grow. So what do we do if we have a relationship that isn’t up to par?
It’s really about setting boundaries. Friends and family will treat you the way you let them.
And Let me throw in a caveat here…I had another friend that invited me to dinner at her house by text. I responded by text…yes! I’d love to! What time and what can I bring? Then radio silence. Never heard back…..When the day for dinner came I was like hmmm. Is dinner canceled? Am I uninvited? So I didn’t just wonder, I picked up the phone and I called…We had a good laugh when she realized she had typed up a text and forgot to send it saying she was excited I was coming and I didn’t have to bring anything. Be careful of technology. I have done this probably 10 times where I type a text and forget to press send. This has led to many misunderstandings, let me tell you, so pick up the phone and call…..Most of the time there’s a simple reason that has nothing to do with you…now about those scenarios where somebody isn’t treating you right…
Wayne Dyer says “You constantly coach people how to treat you”. Basically if you allow others to treat you unfairly, you are signaling that you feel unworthy of being treated better…Oh and here’s a biggie…they will take cues from how you treat yourself. Maybe in the past you put yourself down and weren’t taking care of yourself and they are not used to this new you that values self worth. Now it’s your job to set these new boundaries, let them know what you expect from them (in a loving way of course) because if the relationship is worth having then you both deserve it to be authentic.
My challenge to you this week is now that you understand your self worth, which you should, if you’re still questioning that, go back and listen to episodes 125 and 127, but if you truly know your self worth, make sure you are surrounding yourself with quality people who love you, support you and hopefully some that inspire you. Your role is HUGE in this. If there is a relationship worth having that needs to be rectified, rectify it, if there is a relationship where you need to set boundaries, set them. And never forget the most important relationship in your life is always with yourself and that sets the tone for every other relationship you’ll have…I love you guys and will talk to you in a few days.
