Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 482 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! I hope you are all living life to the fullest, making time for the things that are most important to you. You can tell what’s most important to you anyway by where you spend your time. It’s a good thing to notice. Where do you spend a majority of your time? Someone posted that instead of saying “I don’t have the time for that”. Change it to “that is not a priority for me”. It’ll make you think twice about how and where you spend your time. Just a thought.
It has been said that the art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order.
If things are too chaotic with no order we run in circles. If things are too structured with no ability to bend we break. So we have to find a balance. One of our jobs in life is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order. We think we want things to always stay the same, to be normal, to never change, but there’s no growth in that and it isn’t possible anyway. So if change is our only constant and we know that…then adaptation is our best friend but so is “finding order” in that change.
I remember when I was a little girl and we would go to a theme park when I was young. It was Opryland in Memphis and when we would ride the roller coasters I would always want to sit next to my dad on the roller coaster and as we’re going up and we’re about to crest to take our first big drop of the ride he would always say “here we go!” Sometimes for me it was so scary. I thought oh I can’t handle this. I don’t wanna do this and then we do it and it would be so fun and scary and at the end I’m so glad I did it. That’s how change sometimes feels. We think we can’t take anymore, we tell ourselves we can’t handle one more thing. Change is too scary.
I think for a lot of us we go through life and we think oh I don’t want any more change my goodness I can’t handle it. I want things to just be normal, to always stay the same, so when things do change, we get all in a tizzy or all upset. but have we ever stopped for a moment and thought The reason why we’re getting all in a tizzy and all upset is because we expect things NOT to change we expect them to stay the same. But that old saying change is the only constant, we can’t get around that. So things aren’t going to stay the same, they never do. so when are we gonna settle in and allow the expectation of change? By making an inner preparation for change, you can gear yourself to the idea of change. So the idea would be to know that things are going to change and just expect them to and know that you’re going to be OK when they do know that you’re going to adapt when they do because they will they always will. relationships are gonna change, they may fade or they may morph into something else, Loved ones will die, our jobs go through lots of change. The more we understand and accept and expect for things to change the better we will be at handling that change. Tony Robbins always says our expectations are often the source of our problems because when our expectations are not met, we get upset so if we expect things to never change and then they do of course we’re upset but if we just settle in to things are always going to be changing then when they do we know we have to just adapt.
We are so beautifully designed that we can overcome anything that doesn’t kill us. Often my trainer Kevin would say when I complained about how sore I am or how hard a workout was, he would say “you didn’t die”. Meaning here I am, standing in front of him, stronger for it.
John Templeton says take comfort in knowing that living with and through pain can help you become a more understanding and compassionate person towards yourself and others. adversity can be a rich and educational gift. Adversity can be a milestone in your mental and spiritual growth. Find it in your heart to welcome change , and rejoice in the opportunities for growth that it brings.
We often hear the phrase the survival of the fittest. It’s an ageless law of nature, but the fittest are not necessarily the strongest. If you ever watched survivor, physical strength matters, sure equally important was being able to adapt and be a team player. The fittest are those that adapt the best, David Smalley described the fittest as those that have the ability to accept the inevitable, conform to the unavoidable and harmonize with existing or changing conditions. That sounds so good to me to be able to harmonize with existing or changing conditions. In this life being able to adapt, I think we’ve all seen this, is crucial. We can wish for bad things to never happen but the only way that would even be possible is if you stopped living and that in itself isn’t a choice any of us would want. Change often feels scary but knowing we can handle it, knowing we are equipped to handle whatever comes our way is a superpower because we then aren’t afraid to live life to its fullest to become the great person we were born to be.
Great people refuse to be victimized by circumstance.
Sometimes in order to go from a good person to a great person, we have to transcend. Transcend simply means to rise above. Sometimes, We have to transcend despair, forgive ignorance, heal betrayals and find a way to love everyone without needing them to be different than they are. Because who they are means nothing about you, it’s about them and their journey.
So for me I love comfort and order as much as anyone, I used to say I don’t handle stress well, I don’t say that about myself anymore. I know I’m equipped to handle anything and so are you. I’ve seen it too many times. I’ve also seen the growth that comes from handling hard things. Change has to happen for growth to take place. But remember progress is made when you bring order to chaos…so what are you doing in your life that brings order? Change is inevitable, it takes care of itself just naturally. The key then is to know that, expect that things are gonna change but there are things that are within your control that you can do to maintain some sense of order.
I do that by reminding myself I’m equipped to handle anything, I also make sure I take care of my mental health by meditating, journaling and being super aware of the thoughts that tend to make change harder. So for instance I now tell myself I can handle stress just fine. That’s different from my old story. I also prepare myself that things are always changing, the key is to be able to adapt.
Change is inevitable so changing our expectations to make room for change makes a lot of sense. Adaptation needs to be our friend.
My challenge to you this week is to notice areas where you expect things to stay the same and then notice how those expectations are causing a lot of your anxiety. The expectation that nothing will change makes inevitable change so much harder. Remind yourself that you can handle hard things and if it gets a little scary just close your eyes and say “here we go”! Things usually end up better than you think they will. Share this with 3 people who are handling hard things right now. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
