Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 632 of the Wildly Successful lifestyle podcast! I’m happy to be hanging with you. Thank you for being here. Also thank you for sharing and giving me a 5 star review. I know you have to go out of your way to do that and that’s not lost on me so thank you.
Alright, As you probably know, I’m always running little experiments on myself to see what actually makes me feel better, sleep better, think better. That’s probably why I’m so obsessed with my Whoop. Once you start tracking one part of your life, you get curious about all the other parts. You start noticing things you never noticed before.
Well, while we were on vacation I decided to run a new experiment on myself. For three full days I stayed completely off my phone—no social media at all. Then on the fourth day I gave myself fifteen minutes on X, and then I repeated the whole cycle for the rest of the two-week trip.
It was such a simple little rule, but it changed everything.
When you take the phone out of the equation, the world gets loud in the best way. Normally, the second I felt even a tiny bit bored—waiting in line, sitting on the ferry, riding in the car—I’d reach for my phone without thinking. This time I didn’t. So instead I started people-watching. On the ferry I actually looked around at all the islands and boats going by. And I’d catch myself smiling because I’d remember, “Oh, we anchored right there two summers ago,” or “We had dinner on that island the year the kids were little.” Memories I would have completely missed if I’d been scrolling.
I got curious about the other passengers. I watched families, old couples, teenagers who looked bored out of their minds. I noticed the way the light hit the water. I noticed… (laugh) I noticed how smart and interesting my own husband is. And I’m being completely serious. When you’re not half-listening while you’re doom-scrolling, the person sitting right next to you gets so much more interesting.
We had so much idle time on this trip. Two whole weeks of it. And that idle time felt different this time. It felt rich.
The other thing that surprised me was how quickly the pull of the news on X just… lost its grip on me. X is basically the only social media I use anymore besides Pinterest, so I was a little nervous about missing things. But after a few days the headlines started to feel like background noise I didn’t need. The dopamine hit just wasn’t there.
I started journaling the exact moments I felt the urge to open the app. It was so interesting. Sometimes it was boredom, sometimes it was seeing a political discussion in a group chat, and one time—get this—I saw the word “democracy” in a random ad on a billboard and my brain immediately went, “I need to check X right now.” My brain has been trained so well.
What I kept coming back to in my journal was this: my brain rules my world when I’m not actively being conscious of it. It’s so easy to slip into autopilot. And when I’m on autopilot, I become kind of… uninteresting. To myself, and probably to everyone around me. I’m just reacting instead of choosing.
This experiment reminded me that the real world is still happening while we’re staring at little rectangles. The islands are still beautiful, the people are still fascinating, my husband is still the smartest person in the room, and my own thoughts are still worth listening to.
When we got home from vacation, for a couple of days I allowed myself to get back on X whenever I wanted. And I felt myself falling right back into all the same traps.
That’s also why meditation is so good for me. I love the way it subtly exposes me to myself. I was in my sit—that’s what Henry from The Way calls our meditation practice, a “sit.” Anyway, during one a week or so ago we were noticing and labeling any thought that comes up. All that is helpful and fine. But it was 6 a.m. and I noticed, amongst the other thoughts, one of them went to a worry about Nancy Guthrie, the missing 84-year-old woman, and a quick little thought about the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni trial that’s been in my X feed. They were fleeting and subtle, but that’s where my head was—on things that either don’t matter at all in my world or things that worry me but I can do nothing to change.
I started realizing how much of my subtle unconscious thoughts were simply regurgitating things I saw on X. And I wondered… how much am I willing to hand over to my phone? How much of my success has been lost to my phone?
I’m not saying everyone needs to do a two-week phone fast. But maybe just notice. Notice how often your hand reaches for the phone when there’s a quiet moment. Notice what you see when you don’t fill the quiet. Notice who you become when you’re not on autopilot. Notice what your mind is actually thinking about when you finally sit still.
I came home from this vacation feeling clearer, lighter, and honestly more in love with my actual life. And that feels like the best experiment outcome I could ask for.
You guys know me—I’m always running little experiments on myself to see what actually makes me feel better, sleep better, think better. That’s probably why I’m so obsessed with my Whoop. Once you start tracking one part of your life, you get curious about all the other parts. You start noticing things you never noticed before.
Well, while we were on vacation I decided to run a new experiment on myself. For three full days I stayed completely off my phone—no social media at all. Then on the fourth day I gave myself fifteen minutes on X, and then I repeated the whole cycle for the rest of the two-week trip.
It was such a simple little rule, but it changed everything.
When you take the phone out of the equation, the world gets loud in the best way. Normally, the second I felt even a tiny bit bored—waiting in line, sitting on the ferry, riding in the car—I’d reach for my phone without thinking. This time I didn’t. So instead I started people-watching. On the ferry I actually looked around at all the islands and boats going by. And I’d catch myself smiling because I’d remember, “Oh, we anchored right there two summers ago,” or “We had dinner on that island on one of our first trips here” Memories I would have completely missed if I’d been scrolling.
I got curious about the other passengers. I watched families, old couples, groups of friends excited to be on vacation. I noticed the way the light hit the water or how much bluer it got in certain areas. I noticed… (laugh) I noticed how smart and interesting my own husband is. And I’m being completely serious. When you’re not half-listening while you’re doom-scrolling, the person sitting right next to you gets so much more interesting.
We had so much idle time on this trip. Two whole weeks of it. And that idle time felt different this time. It felt rich.
The other thing that surprised me was how quickly the pull of the news on X just… lost its grip on me. X is basically the only social media I use anymore besides Pinterest, so I was a little nervous about missing things. But after a few days the headlines started to feel like background noise I didn’t need. The dopamine hit just wasn’t there.
I started journaling the exact moments I felt the urge to open the app. It was so interesting. Sometimes it was boredom, sometimes it was seeing a political discussion in a group chat, and one time—get this—I saw the word “democracy” in a random ad on a billboard and my brain immediately went, “I need to check X right now.” My brain has been trained so well.
What I kept coming back to in my journal was this: my brain rules my world when I’m not actively being conscious of it. It’s so easy to slip into autopilot. And when I’m on autopilot, I become kind of… uninteresting. To myself, and probably to everyone around me. I’m just reacting instead of choosing.
This experiment reminded me that the real world is still happening while we’re staring at little rectangles. The islands are still beautiful, the people are still fascinating, my husband is still the smartest person in the room, and my own thoughts are still worth listening to.
When we got home from vacation, for a couple of days I allowed myself to get back on X whenever I wanted. And I felt myself falling right back into all the same traps.
That’s also why meditation is so good for me. I love the way it subtly exposes me to myself. I was in my sit—that’s what Henry from The Way calls our meditation practice, a “sit.” Anyway, during one a week or so ago we were noticing and labeling any thought that comes up. All that is helpful and fine. But it was 6 a.m. and I noticed, amongst the other thoughts, one of them went to a worry about Nancy Guthrie, the missing 84-year-old woman, and a quick little thought about the Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni trial that’s been in my X feed. They were fleeting and subtle, but that’s where my head was—on things that either don’t matter at all in my world or things that worry me but I can do nothing to change.
I started realizing how much of my subtle unconscious thoughts were simply regurgitating things I saw on X. And I wondered… how much am I willing to hand over to my phone? How much of my success has been lost to my phone?
I’m not saying everyone needs to do a two-week phone fast. But maybe just notice. Notice how often your hand reaches for the phone when there’s a quiet moment. Notice what you see when you don’t fill the quiet. Notice who you become when you’re not on autopilot. Notice what your mind is actually thinking about when you finally sit still.
For me it was a really valuable, eye-opening experiment. I wonder if you might feel the same. So my challenge to you this week is maybe for one day, give yourself a break completely from all social media and see what you notice, or maybe who you notice. It may just be noticing yourself experiencing real life and just how interesting you really are, or how interesting that person beside you really is when they don’t have to compete with the fantasies.
Share this with two people who are truly interesting to you. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
