Hi guys! Welcome to episode 643 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast. I’m Heidi, and I’m glad you’re here! If you’re new be sure to follow the show so you don’t miss one, I publish two episodes a week, one on Monday and one on Frida, usually around 10 min. I like to call it spinach for the brain. We control more of our happiness than we were ever taught in school. In fact we control a majority of it by the thoughts we have and the meaning we assign to anything.
There was a question mulling around my brain this week and I will tell you why in a sec but the question is this— how often are you letting other people set the standard for how you live your life… instead of deciding for yourself?
I thought of this while I was on one of my regular runs. I came up to a cross street and there was a car approaching the stop sign. In my head I thought, “They see me, they’ll stop,” and I was about to keep going. But something — call it a gut feeling, that little inner nudge, I like to talk about — pulled me back and said, “Wait… just go behind the car.” It was literally a split-second decision. Thank goodness I listened to my gut and I went behind the car… because sure enough, they rolled right through that stop sign without even slowing down.
For a second I started to get irritated. Like, “They saw me and went anyway!” But I caught that thought and flipped it. Honestly? I have no idea if they saw me. People are so distracted these days — phones, podcasts, kids in the back seat — you name it. It’s way more likely they didn’t see me at all.
The real takeaway for me wasn’t about the driver. It was about me and how I make decisions in my life. I saved myself by listening to that little gut thought, more than that though, I didn’t leave what I was going to do up to the driver, I decided for myself.
I run a couple times a week, and I’ve noticed this pattern for a long time. I’ll come up to a cross street and sometimes people will wave me across in front of them. For years I would take my cue from the driver — if they waved “go,” I’d go. If I couldn’t see them clearly, I’d stop and wait. I was literally handing my safety over to a stranger who might have their phone in their hand. There were times where my gut said stay and the driver said go and me wanting to be nice, against my better judgement, I went.
Not anymore.
I’ve made a new rule for myself: I am in control of my own safety when I’m running. I decide. And for me, that now means always going behind the car. I’m not leaving it up to them to see me. I’m taking care of it on my end.
And here’s what I noticed right away: when I made the decision for myself without wondering or questioning what the other person was doing, I felt instantly more confident and self-assured. There wasn’t that unsure hesitancy anymore. It was more like, “This is what’s best for me.” That feeling was so good. I wasn’t taking my cues from anyone else, I was following what I knew to be right for myself.
After I was considering this as my next episode topic I read a post from Sahil Bloom, one of my favorite thinkers right now. His post said “I often wonder how many extraordinary people wasted their entire lives waiting for permission that never came. Nobody tells you this: Permission isn’t granted. It’s taken. You get to tap yourself in whenever you want. You can just do things. I loved that post. I remember being told “you can’t just start a podcast” and I did anyway and never looked back. My podcast journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Same with you, whatever you’re doing, it doesn’t have to look like what everyone else is doing, you can just do things and it be on your terms.
It made me think about the bigger picture. Where else in my life am I still taking cues from other people instead of deciding what’s best for me?
Think about it with me for a second. How often do we wait for someone else to give us the green light?
Maybe it’s waiting for your boss to notice how hard you’re working before you ask for the raise. Or scrolling social media to see what everyone else is eating, wearing, or posting before you decide what you actually want for dinner… or how you want to spend your weekend. Or saying yes to plans you don’t even want because someone invited you and you don’t want to seem rude.
We’ve been trained to look outside ourselves for permission, for approval, for the “safe” choice. But what if the safest, most successful choice is the one that comes from inside?
I’ve started catching myself in other areas too. When a friend texts, “What do you want to do this weekend?” — instead of immediately asking what they want and then defaulting to that, I pause and ask myself first: What do I actually want? When a new health trend pops up and everyone’s doing it, I check in: Does this feel good in my body, or am I just jumping on the bandwagon?
The more I practice this, the more I realize how much quieter my mind gets. There’s less second-guessing, less resentment, and way more freedom. Because when you stop taking cues from everyone else and start setting your own standard, you step into the driver’s seat of your own wildly successful life. You’re no longer reacting — you’re choosing. And that choice, even in tiny moments like crossing behind a car, adds up to a life that actually feels like yours. You’re setting the standards of your life, not someone else. If you decided you’re not having a drink tonight, you don’t have to guess and wonder if everyone else is, it doesn’t matter, you’ve made up your mind. If you want to go to a class but your friend who usually joins you isn’t sure, decide you’re going regardless and it’s just a bonus if they join too. If your husband isn’t in the mood for a run, that’s ok, you’re gonna go because that’s what you decided you are doing. It’s not about being inflexible, it’s about setting the standards of your life instead of waiting for permission to do so.
My challenge to you this week is to ask yourself: Where in my am I waiting for someone else to wave me across? And what would it feel like to decide for myself instead?
If you keep a journal (and I know a lot of you do), this is a beautiful one to write about this week. Or even just notice it in real time.
Maybe just notice this week, Every single time you catch yourself about to take a cue from someone else — whether it’s a driver, a text, a social media post, or an expectation — pause for two seconds and ask: “What do I want here? What’s best for me?” Then do that. Even if it feels a little uncomfortable at first. That’s how we build the muscle.
I promise you, the more you practice it, the more natural it becomes… and the more wildly successful your life starst to feel. And listen, comments and 5 star reviews matter a lot in the YouTube, podcast world, so leave a comment on one way you’re going to take your own cue instead of waiting for permission, and leave a 5 star review if you’re loving the episodes!
I love you guys, I’m rooting for you, and I will talk to you in a few days!
