Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 667 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle Podcast! I hope you are having an amazing morning… Or afternoon, or whenever you’re listening—I’m Heidi, thank you for hanging out with me, I feel privileged that you welcome me into whatever moment you choose to listen because there are lots of choices you have for your time and that is not lost on me.
Every morning meditation is a good one regardless of how my brain cooperates, but some mornings…just seem like it shifts something for me. Like the universe is handing me a quiet little gift and That’s exactly what happened to me one morning last week during my meditation. It wasn’t even this profound thing.…It was a repeated phrase that my meditation guide had us repeat with no expectation, no forced awakening, just sitting with this one little phrase which was “What is this?”
Just those three words. Over and over. Not trying to make things happen, not trying to solve anything—just sitting with it. And without trying at all… it shifted something for me. So of course, I have to share it with you guys so maybe it shifts something for you as well!
I’ll tell you what I realized…… So I’m sitting there during meditation silently repeating that little question, only periodically, “What is this?” and suddenly my mind drifts to how Ive been responding to things lately. To people. To little frustrations. To big feelings that bubble up out of nowhere.
Here’s what hit me: So much of how I react in the moment comes straight from my lived experience. The stories I’ve collected over fifty-three years. The patterns I learned, the hurts I’ve carried, the ways I used to protect myself. It’s like I’ve been viewing the whole world through those old lenses without even realizing it. Autopilot.
And when you’re on autopilot, you don’t even notice you’re driving. You know how it is when you drive somewhere you maybe go every day like work or the gym and you are so lost in thought that when you get there you wonder how you got there. Same thing happens with our mindset. You just keep going the same route, reacting the same way, wondering why the same arguments or the same heavy feelings keep showing up.
I noticed a shift recently though with my little sister. She’s a lot like a daughter to Eric and me in a lot of ways. We were on speakerphone with her, and she was having one of those moments—you know the kind. Emotions running high, tone sharp. In the past, I would have jumped right in with my own version of that energy. Matching her frustration, defending myself, explaining, and before we know it, we’d be in a full argument that left both of us feeling drained and sort of disconnected. That was just my norm. That was my lived experience talking—old ways of doing things, old triggers, old ways of keeping the peace that actually did the opposite.
But this time? I didn’t react, I stayed quiet. I let her have her moment. I didn’t react. I just held space for her to talk.
When we got off the phone Eric said, “You handled that really well.” And I knew exactly why he was saying it. Because he’s seen the old version of me—the one who would have escalated without meaning to.
And I gotta say that moment felt like such a win. Not because I’m suddenly perfect, but because I noticed the old pattern trying to run the show… and I chose something different. I didn’t speak from frustration. I let her vent without having to defend or explain or react. That’s new for me. And its kind of freeing.
The more I meditate, the more I catch those moments. The more I can ask myself, gently, “What is this?” before I react.
Because sometimes “what this is” is autopilot running the show.
Maybe you get really upset over something that, looking back, feels outsized. Traffic. A tone in a text message. Your partner forgetting to do the one thing you asked. Or maybe it’s bigger—disappointment at work, worry about a parent aging, that low-grade tension that follows you around.
Instead of just riding the wave of anger or hurt, pause and ask: “What is this?”
Often, when you peel back that first reactive layer, you find something underneath. Maybe you didn’t sleep well and your nervous system is running on fumes. Maybe there’s still a sting from an earlier conversation with your spouse that you haven’t fully processed. Maybe it’s an old story flaring up—“People always let me down” or “I have to handle everything myself” or “I’m not enough if I can’t fix this.”
Your lived experience is trying to protect you. It’s doing what it learned to do. But it doesn’t have to drive anymore.
I love how this one little question turns into a compassionate mirror. It’s not about judging yourself. It’s not about forcing positivity. It’s just curiosity. “What is this?” opens the door to understanding instead of reacting. And from understanding, real choice appears.
For me, it’s showing up in small ways that add up to big change. I notice myself getting a little tight in the chest when something feels chaotic. Instead of pushing through or snapping, I ask the question. Sometimes the answer is as simple as “I’m tired and I need five quiet minutes.” Other times it’s deeper—“This reminds me of feeling invisible when I was younger, and I’m scared that’s happening again.”
Either way, naming it diffuses the power. The frustration loses its grip. I can respond from who I am now, not just who I used to be.
Think about your own life for a second. Where might you be running on autopilot?
That recurring tension with a family member?
The way you beat yourself up over a small mistake at work?
The quick irritation when plans change?
What if the next time it flares, you get curious and silently ask yourself “What is this?” Sit with it like you would with a good friend over coffee. No fixing. Just listening.
I truly believe this practice—paired with meditation, even just a few minutes a day—can shift how we show up in our relationships, our work, and inside our own heads. It creates space for self-love that isn’t fluffy, but real. The kind that says, “I see you. I understand why you’re reacting this way. And you don’t have to stay there.”
It’s how we break old cycles. How we love anyway, even when it’s hard. How we become more of who we’re meant to be.
My challenge to you this week is to: Try it. During your next quiet moment—whether it’s meditation, a walk with your dogs, or sitting in your car before you head inside—repeat “What is this?” and see what comes up.
And when life throws one of those curveballs that used to send you into autopilot, pause. Ask the question. Listen for the real story underneath. Then choose how you want to respond.
You might be surprised how much lighter you feel. How much more present you become with the people you love. How much kinder you are to yourself.
We are doing beautiful work just by showing up and being willing to look a little deeper at why we do the things we do and think the way we do.
If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a note, leave a review, share it with someone who needs it. And remember: You don’t have to have it all figured out. Sometimes the most powerful thing is simply asking and then sitting with that little question, “What is this?”
I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days!
