Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 230 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Have you shared an episode with a friend or family member yet? How about sharing this one?
Alcohol is an interesting topic for me. I do drink but Most of my mentors or people I really look up to don’t drink at all. Maybe they used to and stopped, or maybe they just never even started. I have a lot of respect for those people and I think I want to be one of them but I’m not 100% certain.
I want to be clear I’m not for or against drinking. I don’t like labels of good or bad when it comes to lifestyle because what is good for you is different then what is good for me. So this is really about what YOU want. What you want for YOURSELF. If you want something and you don’t have it. Why? That’s generally my message. I talked to my brother and I asked him what he would want to hear in an episode about alcohol and he said I don’t want to feel judged. I’m glad I asked because the last thing I want anyone to feel is judged. So it’s really a frank talk about alcohol. Because I believe if you want something you should be able to have it and that includes drinking exactly as much as you want, so if you want to drink less you should have that, if you want to not drink at all you should have that too. And by the way if you’re happy with how much you’re drinking then that’s awesome and this may just be an episode that doesn’t apply to you.
I’ve given it a lot of thought about why if I want to be a non drinker, why I don’t just stop drinking.
I posed that question to my baby sister of why I drink even though I would like to be a non-drinker with the exception of special occasions and on vacation. She nailed it. She said because everyone around you drinks.
Being completely transparent, I love my friends and family and it scares me a little bit to be the only one that doesn’t drink. That seems like a weak excuse because I’m kind of blaming others in a way. Which is that I am trying to take the heat off myself? But seriously, when I think about being the only non drinker…It makes me have that feeling I talked about in Episode 228 about being an outsider, being different because we all have a human need to fit it and I’m worried I don’t fit in in that way…but am I creating that? Because every single one of my friends and family are super supportive of whatever I want to do. It’s only a big deal to me. Now…Yes, it makes them feel better when I drink. I know that because My precious sister in law said it perfectly. We were out to dinner and I ordered a drink and was glad I ordered it and I asked her why…I asked, am I more fun when I’ve had a drink? just out of pure curiosity and she said “you’re always fun, I think it’s just that when you drink, it makes us feel more comfortable that we are drinking” I love her for her honesty and her vulnerability. She’s awesome like that. So, it boils down to this for me. I love people and I REALLY love the people I spend the most time with and if they feel better when I drink and I get a little buzz from a drink which makes me feel better…of course that explains why it’s hard to stop. But at what cost? I want to be the best version of me that I can be every day. I try to be balanced.
Left up to my awesome functional medicine Dr. I would never eat sugar, never drink alcohol, never eat out at a restaurant and never eat gluten, grain or dairy again. I’m laughing but he’s serious. He believes that’s the way to a truly healthy body.
Studies show that drinking is bad for you. Studies also show that people that drink red wine are healthier. What do you believe?
Now, I easily do not drink at home, especially if I’m by myself…there’s no problem there. It’s usually in a social setting. I’ve said this before and I think I’ve just heard this saying and liked it…that It takes the edge off, but the edge off what? I’m not stressed. I don’t feel anxious when I go out with friends, quite the opposite, I know they are going to love me regardless of whether I drink or not, I think it boils down to habit. I think it’s just a habit and it’s uncomfortable whenever you’re trying to break a habit. And let me say this. Sometimes when we make good decisions for ourselves, it gives someone else the idea or the permission to make the same decision. I had a friend over for dinner we had a glass of wine, she didn’t want a second glass so I didn’t have one either…power of suggestions…Another time, We were out to dinner with friends and everyone ordered a glass of wine and I ordered sparkling water. No-one cared and I didn’t talk about it at all, and guess what…nothing bad happened. If they noticed they didn’t say a word. I think sometimes we make it a bigger deal than it is.
And here’s the thing.
For me. I would like to be a person that drinks twice a week and that’s it. The reason Dr. Osborne would like it to be zero drinking because he says alcohol definitely shows up in our bodies affecting our health. Especially our brain health which is very important to me. But I’m not there yet where I drink zero days. Maybe I will soon, maybe not, I have to decide.
But I will tell you this.
I journal every morning and I start out my journal with how I’m feeling that morning. I started noticing a pattern recently that if I drink a little too much, which will be different for everyone but for me it’s more than 2 drinks. I noticed the next day I would feel an underlying sadness for absolutely no reason at all. There is an argument that can be made that it’s because I don’t like the way I feel but it’s more than that because there were times when I felt fine but still had an underlying sadness and it followed a night that I drank. At first I thought maybe I didn’t like Sundays or weekends all together which is weird not to like but that is generally when it would happen. But as I continued journaling over time I became aware of the pattern of when that happened. It was when I had a little too much to drink the night before.
I didn’t realize alcohol was causing me to have an emotional roller the next day.
I was talking to a friend of mine and he said he has a friend who wasn’t the cheeriest guy in the world to start with but he had started heavily drinking for many reasons but one of which was unhappiness with where he was in life. He ultimately decided he was getting older and wanted to be healthy if couldn’t be happy, at least he could try to be healthy and part of that was eliminating alcohol. Well low and behold he got healthy but he also got much much happier. All because he stopped drinking alcohol. It’s been a year and a half and he feels like a different person.
He didn’t realize how much alcohol was affecting his happiness or lack of.
For me. It’s social. I like to have a drink when we are out with friends. Like the other night, we were out with friends and I had a couple drinks, which I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but It ended up lowering my capacity to say no and ate dessert and French fries and all kinds of food I don’t eat on a regular basis because it makes me feel bad. And then when we got home I continued the bad decisions by being on my phone looking at all the bad things in the world. For me ultimately my life is much better when I don’t drink than when I do. Fortunately It’s generally limited to twice a week, which is my ultimate goal but doesn’t always happen.
So if we are trying to be the best version of ourselves every single day…does that include alcohol?
Is alcohol making me better or is it making me worse? I know when I don’t drink my skin glows and my energy and mental clarity is through the roof. But I also know that when I am out socially for now I still want to have a drink and I don’t have a problem with that for myself. But limiting it to twice a week feels like a big step in the right direction.
Someone asked me why I drink at all if I feel so much better when I don’t and I wanted to say well all of my friends drink and it would be weird if I didn’t. But that places the blame on other people and takes the control of my drinking completely out of my hands. I like where I am with it because I’ve definitely cut back from the height of Covid where I think a lot of us picked up a few habits or dropped a few habits.
I’ve been reading a lot about what alcohol does for my body and my brain and I may at some point not drink at all but I’m not there yet.
My personal protocol at the moment is limiting it to twice a week. To an alcohol that is grain free so either tequila or gin or wine. I haven’t been perfect for the past two weeks, and I so badly want to justify to you guys why and help you understand that it’s just because we’ve had a lot of social events and it’s so fun to be be back together after the weirdness of Covid… when really I just got lazy with my protocol and didn’t plan it out. I also think I left the option open to drink more than twice a week. But committing 100% is the biggest part. And up until this episode I don’t think I’ve done that and that’s probably why we are having this discussion! Because I generally talk about things I’m dealing with or working on and how to be better myself and maybe you get some inspiration for your life at the same time.
When our goal is to be the best we can be and to live our version of a wildly successful lifestyle, what does that mean for you? That’s the important thing. You may not drink alcohol at all and in that case you probably wouldn’t be listening unless you’re hoping to help someone else or maybe you just enjoy listening and if that’s the case, you’ve made my day. But the question really is..what does your version of a wildly successful lifestyle look like? How much alcohol is involved in that? You innately know the answer. No one else does but you do. For me, right now. Two days a week works. Any more than that and I feel bad because I have lots of goals and I have to be in a certain mindset to do these episodes and I’ve found alcohol doesn’t help me there. Are there places in your life that would be better if you slowed down? If you really look at it honestly? You’re the only one that knows. But you CAN do it. You just have to have a protocol which is just a fancy word for a plan of how much you want to drink, then plan which days you’ll drink, and which you won’t, then commit 100%.
And you will have the urge to drink at times when you’ve said you won’t and if you let that urge be there and acknowledge it without reacting to it, it will fade and eventually you’ll get really good at saying no.
This is a great area where you can learn to trust yourself. And to have your own back. The old you may have given into the urge but the new you with the new Wildly Successful Lifestyle you’ve chosen that new you says no and moves on without making it a big deal because it’s not a big deal unless you make it one.
We’ve got this. We can do it together.
I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
