How to make a difficult situation easier
Hi guys! Welcome to episode 232 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Thank you all for sharing the episodes and for subscribing. It means a lot. We can get so stuck in our beliefs that we see no other way, or we insist we are right when just one new thought, or question or story could make you see a situation in a new light. I love doing that for you every week.
OK.
I was working with a coaching client last week and she was worried that she was neglecting her husband because she was taking care of everything and everyone else and wasn’t able to spend as much time with him. But here’s the thing, the reason she was so busy was he was taking care of his ailing father so she was picking up the slack of everything else. She felt bad because she wasn’t able to spend time with him and his dad but here she was taking care of everything else. She was really beating herself up over this.
Sometimes we are so busy juggling life that we never stop and just really realize we ARE doing the best we can. And Sometimes there is no easy decision, sometimes none of our options are that great but you have to choose one. We’ve all been there. Maybe you’re in it right now.
She and I worked through it together. Someone had to be taking care of the kids and paying the bills and someone had to be taking full time care of the dad. She wanted to be in both places at once but that isn’t real, she can’t do that. So she ends up feeling guilty and emotional wishing she could be there for everyone.
I asked her what if everything you’re doing to take care of the family is actually making your husband feel more loved because he is able to spend the time he needs to be with his father in his final days?
I asked her “what if nothing has gone wrong” what if you’re doing the exact right thing for your family right now. She cried and said that it feels so good to think that way and actually it is true, her husband even said that very thing. Nothing about the situation changed, she just changed the way she was looking at it.
Life can be really hard. And we are all going to have really good times and we’re all gonna have really bad times, welcome to the world of being a human.
So many times we beat ourselves up for not doing enough. Not being enough. When what if we are exactly where we are supposed to be? Nothing we do or don’t do can change how worthy we are. That I know.
But Our brains are hardwired to have a negative bias.
So we tend to believe negative thoughts about ourselves and negative comments stick with us for what seems like forever. We also tend to really beat ourselves up for things we would never beat someone else up for.
So the next time you’re going through something rough…do one of these 3 things:
Step outside of it and take the exact situation and put your best friend in it or maybe your favorite sister. Really in your mind put them in the exact scenario you’re in….What advice would you give them? We are harder on ourselves than we are on other people, more than likely you have great advice for them. Give that same grace and love and advice to yourself.
Another thing you can do is ask yourself a better question.
One of the most powerful questions I have found is “what if nothing has gone wrong?”
That’s the question I asked her. What if nothing has gone wrong and you are both doing the best you can and you are actually fully supporting him and loving him by giving him the freedom to be with his dad?
Sometimes, we have things come up where there’s no easy decision and there’s no changing the circumstance but you can change the way you’re looking at it. A lot of times you can do that with a question.
Tony Robbins always says “Ask better questions, get better answers!”
I also like to have thoughts that I think every single day to get me through uncomfortable situations.
A few of my favorites are “Everything is as it should be” this calms me down
“Things are working for me not to me” this makes me look for what’s right
“Everything happens right on time” this stops me from feeling behind
“No one can make me feel a certain way unless I let them” this puts me in control of my feelings
So the next time you’re going through something hard. Step out of the situation for a moment and ask yourself what you would say to your best friend if they were going through the same thing? You’ll amaze yourself with your advice.
Ask yourself a better question “What if nothing’s gone wrong?” Or “How is this working in my favor?”
And finally grab onto a couple new thoughts to think every day like “Everything happens right on time”. Or “there is no rush and Im not behind”
I’m always looking for ways for us all to be better every single day, and when you change your mindset nothing in your life has to change for you to feel better. It can happen pretty fast, with just a little practice and consistency.
Keep listening every week, I put them out on Monday and Friday so you have good thoughts for the week and good thoughts going into the weekend. It’s kind of like you have your own private life coach in your back pocket, I like that thought.
I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days!
