Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 250 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! We’ve come a long way and it’s only getting better from here. You know why? Partly Because we keep learning, but, we keep getting better and better because not only are we continuously learning, we actually apply it. Its one thing to know something, it’s an entirely different thing to actually apply it. Think about that the next time you learn something new. Ask yourself how you’re gonna apply it. Being wildly successful isn’t about simply just learning…we want to grow too, which means something changes, in order for something to change we have to take action of some sort. So we can learn all kinds of new things but if we don’t actually apply it, it doesn’t change our life.
I heard this week that depression is the biggest reason for mental illness right now in the US and the world. And that the root of that depression is self-worth.
For some, it’s social media and comparison to others, which is a big problem that we have never had before so we are having to figure it out. But until there is a universal solution, we have to figure it out for ourselves. If something is making you feel bad about yourself, stop doing it. You may need to limit your time on social media or stay off of it all together, you’d be surprised the difference it makes in your happiness.
For others self worth has just never come easily and so it’s been a lifelong struggle. Perhaps it is from unresolved issues in your past, long-held beliefs you have about yourself that are causing you problems. A long-held belief that you aren’t a good person or you don’t belong or you’re not lovable. If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know I was raised in a very strict religion. And I gotta tell ya, Im not the best rule follower in the world, and I struggled with all the rules, there were so many. Approval from my parents hinged on adherence to those rules, well into my adulthood I had feelings of not being a good person and not being good enough. I’ve had to do a lot of work, and I’m still doing it, you’ve heard me on here doing the work. Childhood is where we form our “Rules for living” so your childhood can have long-lasting effects but don’t worry, you can get to the bottom of them. And it doesn’t have to take 3 years of therapy. Getting coaching has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself because they showed me my own mind and I was able to weed out some of the deep-seated beliefs I held from when I was like 13.
So don’t be afraid to get help if you feel you’re in that boat, the money I’ve spent on coaching has been one of the best investments I’ve ever made. It’s why I’m where I am today.
There are also those that had high self-worth but hit a snag in life and now their self-worth is faltering as well. Maybe you lost a job, had a relationship go bad, maybe you’re not happy with where you are weight-wise. These are all things we tie to our self-worth and that can cause you problems in the rest of your life too. When we have low self-worth we often put ourselves last so our health goes out the window.
I was talking to a sweet friend in the last week and she said I sometimes think I care more about others than I do about myself. That’s a really relatable statement for most people, I think. Another friend recently told me she feels like she will do way more for other people than she will for herself. We see our worthiness when someone else approves of us or when we do something nice for someone else and they acknowledge it. Our worthiness actually becomes visible and that’s why it feels so good, that’s why it makes us feel confident for a moment because someone else believes that thing about us so it must be true until your brain gets a hold of it and tells you it isn’t, which doesn’t take long and now you’re back to feeling unworthy.
When other people confirm how nice you are or how well you did or how good you look, that momentarily boosts our confidence. And yes, that feels good, but it’s a temporary fix, right? Now off you go about your day and that good feeling starts to wane so you go above and beyond for someone else, except this time they don’t acknowledge it, which upsets you and so you ruminate about it and talk about it with your friends and they tell you how awesome you are and to not worry about it, they’re jerks and you’re great and that makes you feel good again for a moment. This is the roller coaster we are on when we are looking for other people to validate us so that we feel worthy.
And if this is you and I suspect we all have moments of it, you aren’t alone.
When we don’t trust ourselves, or we have low self-worth, we’re constantly looking for approval from other people. The opinions of other people become very important if we don’t trust our own.
Your worthiness is NOT tied into what anyone else says or does or thinks. It simply isn’t and your opinion matters just as much as anyone else’s.
You are as worthy now as the day you were born. Your failures don’t make you less worthy, and your successes don’t make you more worthy.
You don’t get more worthy if you’re rich, nor are you less worthy if you’re struggling to pay the bills.
You don’t get more worthy if you’re fit, and you’re not less worthy if you’re weight isn’t where you want it.
You see if you don’t love yourself and think you’re worthy at the weight you are right now or with the bank account you have, you aren’t going to love yourself and think you’re worthy at the weight you want to be or the money you want to have either. You’ll just find something else to show you’re not worthy. Isn’t that just the worst. Trust me I’ve been there, it’s the old “I’ll be happy “WHEN” syndrome.
So I want you to ask yourself this question…”How do I want to feel about myself as is, as I am right now?” Because that’s your reality and listen, you aren’t your physical body. You’re the essence that resides in your physical body. Your physical body is just a reflection of how you feel about yourself. And if there is something you want to change, that’s ok, that’s good, that’s an opportunity for growth but don’t use it as a reason to feel unworthy, view it for what it is…an opportunity for growth, don’t beat yourself up about it, have your own back.
You deserve to live in a body you love, you deserve to have relationships that are rewarding, you’re worthy of living a life that is fulfilling.
When you have high self worth, you have your own back, you’re comfortable saying no to things, you don’t tolerate less than you deserve. That includes the food you eat, the people you surround yourself with, the exercise you get and it especially includes the way you talk to yourself, your internal dialogue which is ongoing.
We are all works in progress, we are never going to be complete until we die, we are always going to be evolving, I think that’s awesome to know? Wherever you are in your life, you are just fine, this is just the beginning of the rest of your life. The question is how’s the rest of your life going to look?
Doing the same things you’ve always done will get you the same things you’ve always had. You want to up your game? You have to shake things up, and that starts inside because that’s where you’ll find your self-worth.
Don’t wait until you find yourself chronically depressed. Shake things up now! You can have a life you love, it is possible and you’re definitely worth it.
My challenge to you today is to look at your current situation and from an honest viewpoint, how do you view yourself? What’s the inner dialogue about your life? Your body? Your relationships? Your career? Are they mostly negative or mostly positive? Negative self-talk is sneaky, sometimes we don’t even realize we have it. You can have a belief that you aren’t even aware you have that’s causing you to feel unworthy. Some of the most shocking things can come out of doing a thought download. I know it has for me! So don’t just think about this, take action. Do a thought download today and every day this next week and you may see a pattern of thought that needs to be interrupted. If you don’t know what a thought download is, go back and listen to episode 235, I explain it in detail.
Share this episode with 3 people! I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
