Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 234 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast.
Thanks for hanging out with me today! It’s always awesome to be with you.
How many of you have ever gotten a failing grade in anything? I’m not talking about an A- or a B+ for you over achievers….Im talking about an F, written in red with a circle around it.
I have, I remember it very clearly.
I was in my 3rd grade class and we had a pop up test for history. Not my best subject. And let’s just say it didn’t go well for me. I can see it clearly. That big red F at the top of the page. I felt humiliated, judged in a way. I quickly hid it so none of my peers would see it. If you can relate then you know the feeling.
But imagine if instead of a big red f at the top of the page it simply said. Not yet. You’re not there YET.
This is what a school in Chicago did with its students, instead of giving them a failing grade they simply said on the test “not yet”. You’re not there YET
The possibility this implies for those kids is beautiful. It implies that they can get it in the future but they need to do a little more work to get there. Studies show Just knowing that possibility is there made those students work a little harder because they believed it could be done. All by adding that little word….YET
I was doing yoga this last week and the instructor said as we were warming up that she read an article and the title of the article was something like “What a billionaire thinks is crucial for success”. And she said she wasn’t expecting much but was pleasantly surprised when he said he believes the word yet is the key to getting what you want. Adding that word to the end of statements tells your brain it’s possible. I’m not strong enough yet. I’m not smart enough yet. I don’t give standing ovation worthy speeches yet.
Our thoughts are powerful beyond what we even imagine. They shape our life so it’s crucial to know that we aren’t stuck with the ones we currently have. Humans are malleable and knowing that allows you to have a growth mindset.
Carol Dweck is the professor that did these studies and came up with the theory behind the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.
The belief that something as simple as changing up the way you word a thought can have a powerful impact on our ability to improve. Something as simple as adding the word YET.
Our mindset is the difference between success and failure. I wish I knew that when I was 8! But I know it now, better late than never, right?
If you don’t immediately agree, maybe you think it’s too late to change something in your life, you may be thinking “I’m too stuck in my ways to change at this point”. Or maybe you relate to the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” And if you hang on to those thoughts. You’ll be right.
But if you just change it up a little bit, you step out of your comfort zone in just one area of your life, that will get the momentum headed in that direction and it will rub off in other areas of your life too.
Once I decided to get my life coach certification, the tools I’m learning are making my podcast episodes better, my health has changed as well because I’m learning how to handle urges, my general happiness has improved because I’ve learned that I control the way I look at everything, I get to choose what it means to me and it’s been really powerful for my relationships as well. Growing in one area of my life has expanded into making every other area of my life better. Talk about getting your money’s worth.
So what can we do if we want to change things up a little bit? I have found 3 things I think we can do to make monumental shifts in our momentum….
- When you catch yourself having a limited thought about yourself, just add the word YET: I don’t know how YET, I I haven’t reached my goal weight YET, I don’t have what it takes YET.
- Put yourself in the room with people who challenge you to be better, even if it’s just in one area of your life, that stuff is contagious!: Join a small group challenge at the gym that you think is just a little out of your ability, Join a mastermind with people already doing what you want to be doing, It’s amazing what you can do when you see other people doing it already. We are in Toastmasters where we challenge each other to be better every single week.
And finally 3. Look for experiences that stretch you. What’s something you’ve been wanting to do that you have been hesitant to do because it’s a little out of your comfort zone… Go do it! Take the first step towards making it happen. Sign up for that Marshall arts course, Join Leadership Memphis, Get your scuba diving certification do something that moves you toward that goal…the first step is the hardest.
We were given a brain that came hardwired for constant growth but it also came hardwired to keep you safe so whichever one wins out the most will decide the ultimate outcome of your life.
How do we decide which one wins out? You may have heard this story but it’s worth another tell. A grandfather was telling his grandson the story of two wolves. These two wolves are inside of each one of us and they are fighting an intense battle against each other. The first wolf is dark and evil, full of jealousy, arrogance, ego, greed, self pity and resentment. The second wolf is light, full of joy, humility, kindness, love, hope and honesty, but these two wolves are in a bitter fight against each other for survival…..he pauses a minute, letting that thought sink in when his grandson asks, “Grandpa, which one wins?” With that he leans in and says “whichever one you feed.”
We can fill ourselves with doubt and beliefs of the past that don’t serve us or we can fill ourselves with the idea that anything is possible…. And yeah, when you step out of your comfort zone it’s uncertain what will happen but I heard a quote from Erika Royale this last week, she said “The beauty of uncertainty is infinite possibility”.
There are so many possibilities for growth and progress, which is ultimately the key to happiness, but those don’t happen from our comfort zone. Maybe you find it in that new language course, in that business mastermind you’ve been considering, maybe you find it getting over your fear of something.
Anything is possible you just haven’t found the way YET.
I love you guys I’ll talk to you in a few days.
