Are you a person of Value?
Hi guys! Welcome to episode 127 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Don’t forget to subscribe so they pop up when I post my latest episode, it helps us stay connected. Also, if you’re loving it, scroll down and give me a 5 star rating….
I started this podcast just as COVID was taking off over a year ago. Isn’t it crazy how time flies. We all have different reasons for doing what we do. Oftentimes the things we are chasing in life we are really just chasing a feeling that we think we will get from having that new car or job or balance in the bank. Or it could be a feeling we missed when we were growing up. I have talked a few times on different episodes about how I was raised. I have two parents that raised us in a happy (for the most part) home. They loved us and were wonderful parents, we all are pretty stable because of that. Now, the way we got approval and the way to be deemed “worthy” in our house was to be a good member of the religion that my parents were and are still deeply entrenched in. There were lots of rules and you had to color exactly within the lines or you could be ostracized from everything and everyone you know, that was and still is a common fear for most people in this religion. I don’t mention the name because it really doesn’t matter, it could be any religion really. Well, I’m not good at coloring in the lines. So you know that probably didn’t go over well and I quickly realized that religion wasn’t for me, because I like to think for myself. But Because my worthiness was tied since childhood to external validation, a validation that was doomed because I could never live up to my parents expectations. I never truly felt worthy.
I had trouble feeling Worthy of the brilliant gorgeous man I married, worthy of this wonderful, abundant life I’m living. So I have kind of lived my adult life doing everything I can to be deemed worthy in my parents eyes. I was very successful early on, making quite a bit of money for a little country girl but still the worthiness didn’t come, I got a college degree, had my designs published in a magazine more than once and won awards, still the worthiness didn’t come, I finally decided I will become so wildly successful that there will be no doubt of my worthiness, starting my podcast was part of that plan, but along the way, something happened. I spent so much time working on mindset and working on myself that a light bulb finally went off. I’m chasing being worthy when all along I’ve been worthy just because I was born. No-one ever told me that, not in a way that I heard and really understood it anyway. I was chasing external validation that could come and go, when the feeling I needed was inside me all along, I just never saw it. That feeling is inside you too. Tony Robbins has been saying for as long as I have listened to him that “everything you need is within you now”. In fact 20 years ago I even chanted that at one of his seminars but I never deeply understood it or felt it until I realized that what I was chasing was never going to be caught and when I would catch the feeling momentarily with the money or the awards, as long as it’s external it would go away as easily as it came.
When you know you’re worthy inside, no one can take that from you. When you create a life of value, no-one can take that from you either.
I was trying to change the world when what really needed to change was me and my mindset about myself. I started focusing on how I can be a person of value and how I can add value instead of how I could get a million listeners. And along the way, I’ve learned more and grown more personally to the point where it no longer matters. Of course I still want a million listeners, let’s not be silly, but that is no longer the goal. Now every week when I’m writing my Monday episode I ask myself and the universe one question. How can I be a person of value and how can I add value to that one person that needs it this week. Not a million. Just ONE.
So what are you chasing? Is it money? Is it a success? Is it fame?
Without fail, that thing you’re chasing, you’re chasing it because you think you’ll feel more worthy or happier or more loved if you get it. And then when you get it and the feeling is fleeting, you will be back on the chase. You see, it’s ok to have lots of money, let’s be real, life is more fun with it but it isn’t going to give you the long term feeling you’re chasing. So, Don’t tie your worthiness, your happiness or your self love to money or success or achievement because those are external things. Remember from last week, Worthiness is our baseline. When your goal is to be a person of value though, that is up to you and every decision you make matters.
So what does it look like to be a person of value? It will look different for everyone. Maybe it means you have certain standards you maintain for your health, your home and your mindset. Maybe it means you set a goal of being the best version of you every single day. Maybe you decide to show up at work in a whole new manner where people actually notice and ask you what’s got into you!
One thing I’ve started doing is asking myself questions. I call them Power questions. You could start with one and work your way from there. I came up with 18 questions very quickly when I was doing this for myself, I narrowed it down to 5 that I will ask every week with an accountability partner. Maybe you could do the same or maybe you just have one really good question for Monday morning and one good question for Friday morning each week. I will give you a couple that I like because it works on the most important person in your life..which happens to be YOU. ? For Monday you could ask: What is one thing I’ll do this week that pushes me out of my comfort zone?
And then for Friday morning you could ask “What is one area this week that I caught myself with a negative thought and turned it around”?
These are so good because they are programming your brain first to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and then it also makes you recognize negative thoughts and turn them around. How would that change your life?
My challenge to you this week is to dig deep and figure out what feeling you’re chasing and see how you can feel that without needing anything external and then decide what being a person of value means to you, sometimes it’s as easy as asking yourself the right questions. And remember being a person of value is very different from being worthy. You’re worthy because you were born, that’s our baseline, you become valuable by the decisions you make every day.
I have a list of 18 great inspiring questions in a PDF. If you would like to email me I will be glad to send them to you. heidi@heididawson.com Go out there this week and Be an example of what’s possible to every single person around you. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
