Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 380 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Im glad to be with you whether you’re working out, having coffee, driving to the grocery store, whatever you’re doing thanks for bringing me along….
Ok, Do you ever find yourself thinking I should have made a different decision? Or it would have been so much better if I had chosen to do this instead of what I did. Or being torn between two decisions to the point that you’re paralyzed? How about beating yourself up for a decision that got you in a mess? There’s actually a way to make all of those decisions right.
Life seems to be one decision after another. Big and small, we are making decisions all day every day.
Grilled chicken salad or Steak and veggies for dinner, Brown mascara or black, The cream sweater or the black one. Do yoga or do weights…..We make those all day long. And then of course, we have big decisions too. Buy the new car or stay with the current one, Move to a new city or stay where I am. Should I take this new job or stay with my current one?
We all have our own version of big decisions we have to make….
How do you go about making sure that your decisions big or small, are the right ones?
Now, A lot of the decisions I mentioned earlier if you notice, black mascara or brown, yoga or weights, chicken salad or steak salad, all of those have something in common. Either one would be fine. That’s the first thing, whenever you can, give yourself good options to choose from. So don’t say should I work out or not work out, your mind will choose the easy one every time left to it’s own devices. If you say should we have pizza or Grilled chicken salad….your mind is gonna choose the pizza because you’ve put it on the table as an option. When you give yourself great options whenever you can…either choice you make is gonna be great for you. Whenever possible don’t give yourself the chance to make a bad decision. This goes beyond eating at home too….So if you’re trying to eat healthy and you’re going to a party. It helps to decide ahead of time what you’re going to eat, and food decisions are much easier when you’re not hungry so don’t go to a party hungry ever. In fact don’t make any decisions hungry. I’m reading a book right now called the mindful body by Ellen Langer, in it she said that a study showed judges favorable decisions for a defendant went from 65% to zero right before lunch when they were hungry and then back up to 65% favorable after lunch when they weren’t hungry. That’s scary. The lesson there though for all of us?? Don’t make big decisions hungry and pray if you are ever in front of a judge it’s right after they’ve eaten..…
Ok, so when possible give yourself only good options to choose from and note to self, your decision making abilities go way down when you’re hungry.
Now what about when you’ve made a decision….but you aren’t sure that you made the right one…..
While we were renovating our kitchen, we had so many decisions to make, which came naturally to me because that’s what I have done for the last 16 years as a designer. So we have a sitting area right off our kitchen that has floor to ceiling steel windows and it’s just heavenly. I searched and searched for the perfect chaise or sofa for this area for a good 6 months while we were under construction. I finally decided on a one of a kind contemporary lounge piece, it had a low back so it wasn’t gonna be super comfortable to sit on but it was going to look fabulous and would be a place to sit during parties and that’s what I really wanted. So I ordered it along with another piece and the day it was being delivered they delivered the other piece but my lounge wasn’t on the truck, they swore they had it and I had been told it was on the truck….long story short it never showed up that day or any day after and they couldn’t find it and it was on back order with no date in site. I was so bummed but I also knew in my heart that things are working out always in my favor so I reluctantly went back to the drawing board. Everything at that time because it was around Covid was a year or two out so I knew it was going to be a challenge to find exactly what I wanted and it be here for when our renovation was complete in a couple months. And look I could have made the decision to wait until the other piece came back in stock who knows when that would be but I made a different decision to go back to the drawing board. So we were at market and I saw this sofa that was lovely. It was contemporary but didn’t have the one of a kind look I wanted BUT it was in stock and I could have it in 6 weeks so I made the decision to go for it and never looked back. The reason I tell you this, is I made that decision knowing I was going to love it for so many reasons that I wasn’t even aware of yet. Fast forward to today….we have used this sofa for naps, my husband sits on it for his coffee. People sit comfortably on it at parties. My big sister sits with her feet up comfortably and watches the dear eat leaves off the trees right outside our windows. None of which would have happened had my original one of a kind bench/low back piece been delivered as scheduled. You see I made the decision not to wait on the one of a kind to be back in stock and to go with a much more functional but still beautiful sofa. Im so glad it worked out this way and I told myself when I was at market that I was going to get behind my decision and I did.
Now did that make the original decision wrong? Nope. Because had we gotten the original one in, I would have found all the reasons of why I loved that one. And there would be so many reasons we don’t even know about, but we will never know because that’s simply not how it worked out, I just choose to believe that it worked out in my favor. The opposite of that is to think I always get screwed and things never work out the way I want them to. Honestly guys, it’s that kind of thought that creates that kind of life. Either one of those statements Things are always working out in my favor or I always get screwed, are true if you believe it, and the universe will just keep showing you how right you are. It’s crazy, even your decisions have to do with your mindset.
So Assuming you made the decision that was best in the moment, well then doubting it, comparing it, being sad about the other one not showing up. All of those things just make you miserable without reason. Whereas finding ways to make the decision you did make the right one….and finding all the reasons to love the decision you did make, You make the right decision or you make the decision right. Making it right means not second guessing, not comparing, you know I have never gone back to the website to see it that original lounge came back in stock…that’s how much I got behind my new sofa decision. I don’t care about the original one, it wasn’t what was supposed to be in my sitting area and I’m here for it. You have that choice on every decision you make.
Second guessing, comparing, or regretting a decision once it’s made is not useful.
Now someone is going to hear this and say well, aren’t you settling? You’re encouraging settling. But you see that’s just another way for your mind to second guess, compare and regret the decision you did make. For me, and my sofas, who knows if I had made the decision to wait on the original one, I could still be waiting, or I could have it and love it, or I could have it and wish I had one that was more comfortable…..we don’t know what we don’t know so why make ourselves miserable in the meantime? If you truly don’t think you will be able to get behind a decision, then it’s your job not to make it. If I didn’t think I could get behind my new sofa I wouldn’t have chosen it. I don’t view that as settling.
Finally, If a decision does end you up in a mess, you can still make it right by growing from it. We have all had this happen and it will probably happen again. But If you grow from a bad decision, you’re making that decision right because you’ve learned from it, you’ve grown from it. And You have no idea how valuable that will be to you in the future.
Repeating a bad decision over and over shows you haven’t grown from it, and side note, repeating a bad decision…that’s not a mistake, it’s a choice … one that you knew ahead of time wouldn’t be good because you’ve already lived it once. So you can even make a bad decision right by growing from it and not repeating it.
You’re not always gonna make the right decision, but you CAN always make the decision right.
My challenge for you today is to to look at the decisions you make daily and make sure when you can, to only give yourself good options to choose from. So chicken salad or steak salad, yoga or weights that kind of thing. Never make big decisions when you’re hungry and if you do make a decision that ends up in a mess, grow from it.
See Every decision holds value if you look for it. So either make the right decision or make the decision right.
Share this with 3 people who have to make decisions daily. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
