Hi guys! Welcome to episode 593 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Good to be with you as always. Our thoughts play a really big role in our happiness, which is why I like to talk about them. They affect almost everything we do. Especially our relationships. I heard this idea years ago that if you’re happy with yourself, your relationships thrive. I know this to be true because I’ve lived it.
But I also heard something that was unsettling at the time, it’s this idea that if you’re truly content with yourself—mentally, physically, emotionally—you could be happy with countless partners. It’s an empowering thought, but it can also make your relationship feel less unique.
I came across this idea from —I think it was Esther Hicks, possibly Tony Robbins—who said that if you’re happy with yourself, healthy in your mind and body, you could be content with an infinite number of partners. The universe is full of possibilities for connection.
When I first heard that, I was sitting with my coffee, thinking about my husband, Eric and it really did kind of unsettle me. If that’s true, does it mean what we have isn’t special? That he could be just as fulfilled with someone else, and so could I? It felt like our connection was being reduced to something interchangeable, and I didn’t like that. I spent a few days turning it over in my head, wondering why it bothered me so much.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized the point isn’t about diminishing what you share with someone. It’s about where you look when things feel off. When a relationship isn’t working, it’s easy to focus on what your partner’s doing wrong—their habits, their words, their effort. But this idea suggests starting with yourself. If you’re not in a good place mentally or physically, no amount of external fixes will hold. The work begins inside.
But inside is not the first place we look is it? Usually we are looking for something outside to change to make us feel better. I know because I lived it. I’ve mentioned a few times that several years ago before Covid I kind of out of the blue and rather suddenly found myself very unhappy which was not like me. My resting state is happy. Always has been. I’m an optimist at heart. So this was a new feeling for me. I was already married to Eric who is amazing by the way because he stood by me through all of that. I remember during that time he mentioned to me that I hadn’t really gotten our guest list together for our Christmas party and I said I don’t want Christmas party, I don’t like anyone coming. Now if you know me, which if you listen regularly you kind of do but I love people especially my people and we have some of the most beautiful friends who are supportive and wonderful and I love them so much. So when I said that I knew something was bad wrong. So I asked for help in finding the answer to what was going on with me and what was going on inside me. Turns out my hormones were a wreck and my nutrition at the time wasn’t helping. Interesting thing happened when I fixed all of those things inside me. I didn’t need new friends, or a new husband, I didn’t need things externally to change for me to be happy, that wouldn’t have helped at all, in fact it would have made things exponentially worse for sure. I needed an internal reset and in my case hormone therapy and once I got that within about 7 days I was back to my happy self. OH and I loved all my friends again and my husband was back to being the best in the world. Funny how that worked. Right? Nothing external was going to fix it. One little clue that told me that was possible was something I had actually been aware of thank goodness. Eric and I don’t fight. We just really get along but once a month or so around that time of the month, if you’re a woman you’ll know what I mean, but just about exactly that time of the month, I noticed that all of a sudden Eric and I would be arguing over the dumbest things and of course I totally blamed him, but as soon as that time of month was over, he would be back to being my wonderful husband. We can laugh about it now because obviously it was a pattern that happened when my hormones were doing what they do once a month as a young woman. It helped me to be aware of that though because when it happened as I got a little older I was astute enough to wonder if it was still me, something inside of me was the problem, as it turns out it was. This doesn’t mean it’s always you, it means it’s a good place to start so you don’t upend your life unnecessarily.
So, If your relationship feels strained—or if you’re single and struggling to find connection—start by checking in with yourself. Ask: How do I feel about me right now? Not your job, not your social life—just you. If you’re not in a strong place, that’s where the work begins.
Here’s what’s helped me. First, find a way to process your thoughts. For me, that means being aware of them. I journaled for many years which helped me get clear every day with how I was doing hash out the things weighing on me. It’s like untangling a knot. Second, take care of your body in a way that feels manageable. Maybe it’s a short walk, maybe it’s drinking more water. Small things add up. Third, look at your surroundings. If your space feels chaotic, get your house in order, even just one area. It can ground you more than you’d think.
If you do this and your relationship still doesn’t feel right, then maybe it’s not the right fit. That’s where the “infinite partners” idea can be reassuring. It’s not about being replaceable—it’s about knowing you have options. You’re not trapped. But you can’t skip the step of getting right with yourself first.
It’s about starting there. Looking inward before you change things outward. And It’s not about fixing everything overnight—it’s about small steps toward clarity.
turns out, That idea about infinite partners isn’t about your relationship being less meaningful. It’s about owning your happiness first. When you’re solid in yourself, you bring that strength to your connections. You choose each other not out of need, but because it feels right. If you’re struggling, start small—write, move, breathe. It’s not about perfection; it’s about showing up for yourself.
You deserve it. If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it.
I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
