Hi guys!! Welcome to episode 585 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast. What’s going on? Have you had a good so far? It’s about to get better because you’re here and that’s what we do is make things better!
One thing that’s undeniable and I think we forget it sometimes is that we talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else. We talk about ourselves in our head more than anyone else talks about us too. It’s important to remember that because our self talk can be our best friend or our worst enemy and I want you to be your own best friend. Who doesn’t want their own personal cheerleader?
Eric and I have a path we run when we run outside and we always turn around at this one street corner that has a stop light but it also has signs on the pole one of the signs is this little hand and it looks like it is high fiving someone. So every time we get there Eric gives it a high five. Silly I know but it’s like hey we made it half way! So I was running by myself the other day and I got to that sign and the intersection was really busy and so I thought oh it’s kind of embarrassing to do that, people will make fun of me. But then I thought wait, that sounds silly of me. I’m going to do it regardless because I’m working on doing things out of my comfort zone so I ran to the sign and I high fived the little hand. There was no car accidents from people laughing. I could not even say if anyone noticed at all. So I had a little conversation with myself on my run back home I said what if you were in a car and someone did that while they were running? What would you think? If I noticed at all, I think I would think “good for them running on a hot day, I might wonder why they high fived the sign but then I would go when the light turned green and I would never even think about it again more than likely.
You see it is so common for us to think that other people are thinking about us, because we think about ourselves a lot. Reality is. They really aren’t. And if you step outside of your own thoughts and consider the amount of time you really dwell on someone else, it’s likely not a lot unless of course someone close to you is having something going on that’s a big deal but that’s a special case, most of the time they just aren’t.
And just like I did with the high five sign, if you think about what you’d be thinking, you aren’t dwelling on other people, especially not strangers, yet it will stop us from doing things because we are worried about what other people will think.
We’ve all had those moments, right? Where we stop ourselves from doing something because we’re worried about how it’ll look. Maybe it’s not high-fiving a sign on a run. Maybe it’s not speaking up in a meeting because you’re afraid your idea sounds dumb. Or maybe it’s not wearing that outfit you love because you think people might raise an eyebrow. Whatever it is, that inner voice can be loud. It’s like a backseat driver in your head, constantly chiming in with “What if they laugh? What if they judge? What if I fail?”
But here’s the thing: that voice isn’t always your friend. It’s often just fear dressed up as caution. And the more we listen to it, the more we shrink ourselves into a box that feels safe but keeps us stuck. What if, instead of letting that self-talk stop us, we used it to push ourselves forward? What if we had a conversation with ourselves that said, “Hey, you’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to try new things, even if it feels a little weird or risky.”
5 years ago when I started this podcast, I was told by people I respect “you can’t just start a podcast”. I had someone else ask “what if nobody listens?” I didn’t take any of that too seriously because I can handle if no one listens and in the beginning, no one did except for Eric, my always supportive husband and Molly, my always supportive baby sister. I had to work around a lot of self talk, trust me, but now it feels as if it’s as much a part of my life as breathing is.
So, how do we start shifting this self-talk to work for us instead of against us?
Well first of all you have to know you’re doing it. You have to Catch the thought. The next time you’re about to talk yourself out of something because of what “they” might think, pause. Notice that thought. Call it out. Say to yourself, “Okay, I’m worried about looking silly. Why?” Just naming the thought takes away some of its power. It’s like shining a flashlight on a shadow—it’s not as scary when you see it clearly.
Then you could put it in perspective. This is what I did on my run. Ask yourself, “If I saw someone else doing this, would I really care? Would it stick with me?” Nine times out of ten, the answer is no. You’re not the center of everyone else’s universe, and that’s actually freeing. It means you can take risks, try new things, and step out of your comfort zone without the world stopping to stare.
And yeah sometimes they might. So that’s why we also have to train ourselves to do it anyway. This is the big one. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s doing the thing even when you’re scared. High-five the sign. Speak up in the meeting. Start the blog. Whatever it is, take that first step. Because every time you do, you’re telling that inner voice, “I’m in charge here, not you.” And the more you practice this, the quieter that self-doubting voice gets.
And it matters because a wildly successful lifestyle, whatever that looks like for you—doesn’t come from playing it safe. It comes from showing up as your full, authentic self, even when it feels uncomfortable. Think about the people you admire most. Chances are, they’re not perfect. They’re not flawless. But they’re bold. They’re willing to be seen, to take risks, to fail and keep going. That’s what makes them stand out. And that’s what’s available to you, too, when you stop letting fear of judgment run the show.
When I high-fived that sign that day, it wasn’t just about slapping a metal hand on a pole. It was about choosing myself over my fear. It was about saying, “I’m going to do this because it feels right to me, not because it makes sense to anyone else.” And you know what? It felt good. It was a tiny win, but those tiny wins add up. They build confidence. They remind you that you’re capable of more than you think.
So, here’s my challenge to you this week: Have a conversation with yourself. The next time you’re hesitating because you’re worried about what someone might think, go through those three steps. Catch the thought, flip the perspective, and act anyway. Maybe it’s something small, like trying out the new mahjong group Maybe it’s something bigger, like pitching a new idea to your boss or signing up for that class you’ve been eyeing. Whatever it is, do it. High-five your own version of that sign.
And when you do, Celebrate it. When you step out of your comfort zone, give yourself some credit. It’s not easy. Tell yourself, “Hey, I did that. I showed up.” Because those moments are the building blocks of a wildly successful life. They’re proof that you’re growing, that you’re moving toward the version of yourself you want to be.
The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. Be kind to yourself, but also be brave. Talk to yourself like you’re cheering on your best friend, because you deserve that kind of support. And when you start to worry about what other people think, remind yourself: They’re not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. So go out there and live your life on your terms.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need a little nudge to step out of their comfort zone. And as always, keep showing up, keep growing, and keep high-fiving those signs—literal or not. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
