Hi guys! Welcome to episode 338 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast. We all have things we want that sometimes they don’t work out, right. But why? And how do we make sure we ultimately get the things in life we truly want? That’s what we are going to talk about in this episode…..
So, I’m a big animal lover. Any kind of animal I love them just know that. So when I got my first dog, Alex a little boy shitzu I was so happy but I was also young and working and I felt guilty every day when I left for work so I decided he needed a friend to hang with so I go out and get another male shitzus from a different litter. Now I have alex and the new puppy Scotty. I imagined them playing and snuggling and being best friends and all my guilt just melting away because they were so happy together. Nope. From the moment they met to the moment Scotty died they would have nothing to do with each other. No playing. No snuggling certainly not best friends. This went on for 15 years. Seriously. But all that time I loved them both but I longed to see them love each other for all that time which never happened.
When Alex died I just couldn’t replace him so for 3 years or so I didn’t have a dog at all but then up pops two ruby King Charles cavalier brothers sitting closely together that were 5 and needed a home they were willing to separate them but didn’t want to if it could be helped. We were driving when I saw this on Facebook and I immediately called my client that posted it and she said let me call her and tell her you want to see them. She called me back and Eric my husband did a uturn on poplar pike and for the next 3 years I had my snuggly, playful best friend brothers. I knew exactly what I wanted and had dreamed of exactly how these two were. Both on my lap. Both always together and loving each other.
You see that’s the power of knowing exactly what you want. When I first started out and got Alex I didn’t know but life experience taught me and it framed a picture of exactly what I did want.
I was certain of what I wanted that time, I wasn’t putting out mixed signals. I wanted two dogs that would love each other and be happy if I was away and that’s what I got. Life experience had shown me in a very big way exactly what I wanted because I knew so well what I didn’t want. Life does that doesn’t it? It happened with my husband too.
When I was married for the first time at a very young age I didn’t know what I wanted how could I? All I wanted was to get out of my parents house and to be with someone cute. That’s it. That was about what I wanted. I managed that but boy was it a mess. I stayed married for 7 years to him, he was young too neither one of us should have been married especially not to each other. But through all those years and the years after that I spent being single, I knew in my heart what I wanted…a best friend, a stable loving thoughtful mature husband that felt like home that felt secure and safe and loved to grow and travel and have long deep conversations over coffee and that’s exactly what I found.
When I married for the first time, I had no idea about life how could you at 19 but life experience taught me so that I knew exactly what I wanted. I had it even written down and so did my now husband Eric. He actually showed me his list of things he wanted. He carried it with him. Life experience had taught him that too. He knew exactly what he wanted.
My point of these stories is that when you have no idea what you want, you’re just gonna pick the first thing that feels good or looks good or sounds good because why not? It’s when you know exactly what you want that you are sure to find it. That is how life works. And maybe you were blessed with parents that taught you so you knew right out of the gate exactly what you wanted or maybe your life experience will teach you by showing you what you don’t want. That’s been my experience. And I wouldn’t change it.
You see for me it worked out because when you know what you don’t want you know what you do want. Tony Robbins says that all the time.
When you don’t have a clue what you want you’re sending out mixed signals. I was thinking about it this morning, right now I have my little girl yorkie Kenzie. She came to me from my baby sister molly. Long story short she was too busy at the time for a dog, got one anyway and she ended up living with us. And I’m happy she did. Now she isn’t snuggly, she loves me and I love her but half the time she giving me side eye. She has a big sassy personality in a 6 lb body. When my cavalier puppies passed away everyone including me was certain I would get two more immediately. They are such lovers. But it’s been just Kenzie for the last 5 years. I had a thought this morning that I wondered why I haven’t had a new cavalier yet and then I realized it’s because I’m sending mixed signals. I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for another one. Kenzie is older and I worry it would disrupt her last few years so even though I crave a snuggly pup I am not certain I want that yet. Mixed signals.
Maybe you’re in between relationships and the last one wasn’t so great so your thoughts are uncertainty and fear even though you do want a relationship you’re sending out mixed signals. Maybe you’re in a relationship and you’re thoughts are you’re not sure you want to be, you’re sending mixed signals.
Maybe you’re wondering why you haven’t gotten that promotion or that new job but you’re at the same time worried about the amount of time away from home and you aren’t sure you want that..mixed signals.
When I had that thought this morning about I wonder why I haven’t gotten another snuggly dog I realized it’s because right now I have Kenzie and her living her best life for her last years is more important to me right now. Those mixed signals saved me from unnecessary stress. I decided right then and there that she’s all I want right now and I’m happy with that. Sometimes mixed signals are protecting you until you DO know exactly what you want. It’s ok to embrace that you want that promotion but you’re not quite ready because of the time away from home. Or you want to go back to work but you’re not quite ready because the kids are too young. You’ll know when it’s right because there will be no mixed signals. When I met Eric I would have married him in a week. That’s how much I knew what I wanted.
I send mixed signals about my podcast all the time. I wonder why I’m not up to 10,000 listeners per episode after three years but Im also am not sure I want that. Until I know for certain exactly what I do want I’m going to be sending mixed signals and so are you.
When you know exactly what you want, you don’t send mixed signals you have a target and nothing but that will do. Until that happens though life will give you opportunities to try new things until you do know. Like me knowing exactly what I wanted in a husband because I had experienced so much of what I didn’t want I was able to formulate for myself exactly what I did want. Sometimes you aren’t going to know what you to want until you know what you don’t want and that’s ok. That’s part of life. Sifting and sorting through likes and dislikes. That’s life experience and how fun and frustrating it can be. But it’s part of what helps us get really clear on the things we wa t
Where are you sending mixed signals? The reason you ever have mixed signals is because you really aren’t 100% certain of what you want. When you aren’t certain what you want you can’t be 100% committed. When you aren’t certain what you want you are manifesting by default. Like me at 19 grabbing the first cute guy that got me out of the house. Or me having a shitzu and then getting another male shitzu from a different litter.. not a great idea. I was just allowing life to happen by default because I had no idea what I wanted. When I finally got really clear and focused on what I truly wanted those things started to appear.
The one thing I know is when it’s right you’ll know it.
If you’re confused. If your life doesn’t feel like the one you’re supposed to be living then it’s because you’re sending mixed signals.
My challenge to you is to get clear. Get clear on who you want to be and who you want to be with, who you want to have an intimate relationship with, who you want your peers to be. Get clear on how you want your body to look and feel. What do you need to eat, how do you need to move and How does your morning routine look? Get clear on how you want your life to be, do you have purpose? Does your job match your values? When you start out on a road trip, if you have no idea where you’re going you could end up anywhere. Could be good, could be bad. The same thing goes for your life. Get clear and focused on where you want to be and you’ll no longer be sending mixed signals you’ll be headed right for your target. And remember. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be because well, that’s where you are, what you do next is all up to you..so let it be intentional.
Share this with 3 intentional people. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
