Tell your 3 year old brain no.
Hi guys welcome to Episode 308 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Thanks for hanging out, always a pleasure to be with you.
Have you ever noticed for all practical purposes, there are really 2 versions of you. One that really wants to do the things that you know will make your life better and one that really wants to just say “life is short”, “I’m going to do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want, be a hermit, avoid family gatherings, you know all the things that just seem to put you on easy street.
I have struggled with this a lot. I talked in Episode 307 about exercise. I used to battle just giving it up because I was using it to make me skinny but I realized that I had to use other tools like nutrition for that, Exercise helped keep me sane, healthy and happy which helped me make way better choices in every other area of my life. That’s how it goes though……Once you get the momentum heading in a good direction, it will build upon itself and that works in both directions.
You see for me, in the past, when I let the version of me that wants to say life is short, do as you please, win out, it usually has me feeling bloated and full or hungover or lethargic, maybe even lonely because Ive isolated myself. When Ive done that it seems like I would be mad at the world, or wanting to eat greasy food to fix a hangover, or wanting to hide in my house because I feel fat or so disconnected from my family that it’s weird to reach out, it would have me buying things I didn’t need to fill a void. I don’t know about you, but I say Life IS too short. It’s WAY too short to live like that!
But when I am really working on being the best version of me which is pretty consistent now, the momentum is heading in the direction of decisions that make me feel really good. It’s not 100% of the time. I think I am on the 80/20 plan. There are times when I drink more than twice a week and there are times when I drink less. There are times when I eat 5 chocolate oatmeal cookies too but that isn’t my habit. But the part of me that wants to eat chocolate oatmeal cookies every day is still there, I just tell it no. The part of me will always be there that would like to have a drink on a Tuesday when I said I wouldn’t drink during the week. She isn’t going anywhere, Im not a robot. Im a human. But Im a human that knows life is too short to waste time trying 15 outfits on trying to find one that hides my thighs, I used to do that or spending so much money on new clothes hoping that would make me feel pretty when it wasn’t going to work, life is too short to wonder if you did or said anything crazy when you drank too much.
I think one of the biggest struggles we all deal with is keeping ourself in check. Telling ourselves no and keeping the promises we make to ourselves. It’s not easy but neither is the other option. We all have that version of us that still wants to act like a 3 year old where we do whatever we want. But what do we do with 3 year olds? We tell them no.. All THE TIME.
I was visiting my older sister and my mom and dad came for dinner. They live right next door. But my mom asked me if I wanted her to bring chocolate oatmeal cookies to which I told her no I have to be in a bathing suit in 2 weeks. Ha. So the next morning around 11 am I’m leaving to head home, I had already said bye to my parents but I knew my mom had made my favorite cookies and they were there so I could run in and grab one or two for the road. I really wanted to but I had already told myself I wasn’t going to do that. One part of me wanted desperately to go get a cookie or two, the other part of me was like no way, that’s not what we are doing.
It’s kind of like when you’re on vacation and you drink every day or you eat dessert after every meal. Not just dinner, every meal, sometimes it’s like that especially if you’re on one of those cruises where it feels required to eat 24/7. When you get home, you have to shift that momentum back because the 3 year old in your brain thinks it’s still party time, but we got to get back on track.
Ive been there. I still have to shift momentum when we come back from vacation. And that’s ok.
Part of life is saying no to instant pleasure, so you have real lasting pleasure later. I don’t get my moms chocolate oatmeal cookies very often but….I also know that’s a downhill spiral. If I had of gotten those cookies even though I told myself I wouldn’t, Im going to have to start all over on trusting myself because I didn’t keep my promise to myself and I have been bad about that in the past but not anymore. Now if I say I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it. And if I say Im not gonna do it, Im not gonna do it. That’s how I identify. And it may seem hard but isn’t that better than just living a life where you have NO standards? Jordan Peterson says in talking about how we are with ourselves, we are a terrible employee and an even worse boss. We don’t know what we want to do and then when we tell ourselves we are gonna do something we don’t do it anyway. We crack the whip on ourself and then we procrastinate, we crack the whip and then we procrastinate. We all have that tendency but the ones that are really THRIVING, they figure out something they want and they go AFTER IT. And they keep a routine of SOME sort.
So that part of you that wants to act like a 3 year old, what if you treated it like a real 3 year old? One that you loved and you wanted their life to be good? What would you tell them? How would you shape them? What would you let them do and what would you NOT let them do if you wanted them to THRIVE? Do that. Love yourself enough to do that. It helps if you get yourself into some sort of routine, a routine of some sort that makes you feel ALIVE. And you won’t be perfect, you’re not a robot, we all want to be lazy sometimes, which is perfectly fine but the goal is to be better more often than we are lazy, so that the momentum is headed in the right direction.
For me, I get up early usually between 5 and 6 am, I like to be asleep no later than 9:30 at night. The bed being made is a non negotiable before I start the day. I have morning routine of meditation and journaling, I’m not 100% on that but I shoot for 100% so maybe I land around 80%. And I have a workout routine that for me is a mixture of weights, cardio and yoga. Finally, I eat for energy not for entertainment and I have a pretty strong rule of not drinking my calories I generally stick to black coffee, sparkling water and unsweet tea. That’s my routine, now I do steer clear of all news sources, I use Instagram sparingly but I do get some information from there but I don’t want to be at the whim of other peoples agendas so that I can set my own. Otherwise I could easily be all up in Harry and Meghans business….which is tempting but it’s just a huge distraction, which is fine if you’re intentional about it, but if left to my 3 year old brain I could spend hours going down that rabbit hole. Not gonna do it.
My challenge to you this week is to acknowledge that there are definitely 2 parts to you, one that wants to do really great things and one that wants to do whatever the heck you want. Then ask yourself, which one is winning out the most? The answer will be wherever your momentum is heading in the big areas of your life, your relationships, your health and finances. If you don’t like the answer, don’t be upset with yourself, just take the first step to turning things in the direction you want, join a gym, throw away junk food in the house, Put yourself on a budget. The three year old part of you is rolling their eyes, or wanting to throw a fit. But acknowledge there is the other part that knows you’ve been needing to do it. I love you guys Ill talk to you in a few days.
