Hi guys! Welcome to episode 404 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Thanks for hanging out with me. And a big thanks for sharing episodes with someone you know will love it it too! You guys are the best.
As we go through life there are many things that come up that we just didn’t expect, some good some bad. Most of it we don’t control.
That’s why people who are able to adapt and evolve are the happiest. Goals change. Your priorities change. Your wants and your needs change.
That’s why it is so important to remember to periodically reassess where you are heading. Sometimes things happen in life that completely change your priorities. Someone close to you dies, Having a child, falling in love, something pivotal happens in your life any of these things and there are many many more but any of these things will change your priorities in an instant.
But sometimes we have these goals we set before and now those goals don’t seem so important but we still cling to them because well, we set them and we don’t want to fail or worse be seen as a failure or a quitter. You are never wrong for prioritizing your life. If you look back on the course of your life pivotal moments often realigned your desires. Some things that mattered, just don’t seem to matter as much.
It’s ok to allow yourself to pivot.
I used to be in a toastmasters club every Friday and I enjoyed that so much. And then my brother in law died and my family was in crisis. Taking the time with Toastmasters didn’t seem so important all of a sudden, whereas my family and being there for them became very important. I had big goals for Toastmasters and I LOVED preparing and giving those speeches every week, but I decided to pivot and I didn’t beat myself up for that I just knew in my heart that taking the time and energy I was putting into Toastmasters and using that time and energy towards my family that was in crisis mode was more important at the time. What I realized over the last year is that there are things you know you’re meant to be doing and there are things you’re sort of forcing yourself to do because you think it might lead you somewhere you want to be. It’s really good to know the difference. Even through the crisis of my brother in law dying, I never once missed an episode of my podcast, I didn’t even consider missing it, which tells me I’m meant to be doing it, there’s a reason I’m doing it, it feels very right. Now, to be transparent with you guys. I do it even though my listener number isn’t where I wish it were, so I’m definitely not getting an ego boost from it. I do it because there’s something in me that needs to get out and if I can change one persons life by continuing to do it even if that one person is me, then so be it. And I will continue doing it unless it stops resonating, but at the moment that doesn’t seem possible.
I believe we each have a deep knowing of what’s best for us and killing ourselves to try to cling to goals that don’t seem important anymore but that we still identify with, we don’t have to do that. When you allow yourself the ability to eliminate goals that no longer resonate with you, you are actually opening up to unlimited possibilities for yourself.
It’s ok to pivot when you realize that your dream job isn’t so dreamy afterall. It’s ok to pivot when you realize you just aren’t as passionate as you thought you would be about the degree you chose. It’s ok to pivot if a nutrition plan isn’t working for your body. It’s ok to pivot if tennis or pickleball feels like it’s causing you to need therapy. Life is a journey and your desires are constantly changing. We make it much harder on ourselves when we cling to things that we’ve maybe outgrown.
That includes toxic people. But be very careful who you cast as toxic.
We don’t want to be fickle with our true friends, and we don’t want to be fickle in our commitments either, such as our commitment of marriage. Now, total transparency, I have been divorced and that was a very good decision for my life. But jumping from one person to the next once the initial excitement wears off can also become a habit. We attract what we are and if you’re both growing together, as you change hopefully they are changing and growing with you…because we are constantly changing. There’s a reason you chose that person, Tony Robbins always says, remember why you chose them, remember the things that initially drew you to them, focus on the things you love about them and you just might be surprised that those feelings are reignited. If there was a deep love and connection to begin with, with a little work that can come back. It’s usually about you and what’s going on in your head about your partner that is creating the divide, take a little time to analyze your thoughts and see if that could be the problem…unless they are truly toxic and in that case get as far away as you can.
In a society that is changing rapidly, we have to be adaptable, we have to evolve with life or we can feel very frustrated and frazzled all the time. when something like a goal you set 3 years ago doesn’t resonate, it’s ok. Just remember when it comes to humans, you attract what you are so if you don’t like what you’re attracting, that’s a you problem, not a somebody else problem. Fix yourself and those that are meant to be there will still be there and those that aren’t will drift and that’s ok too.
We are human beings. Adaptability is a crucial part of our happiness. Sometimes that means pivoting and sometimes that means staying the course even though there’s obstacles or diversity and quitting seems easy but you aren’t going to quit because your gut tells you not to. your gut instinct will keep you more on track than any guidance you’ll get anywhere.
There’s nothing wrong with pivoting but also be careful that you’re not giving up too soon.
Sometimes we make an emotional decision only to find out later it wasn’t what we wanted. Never make a decision in the height of emotion, I have to tell myself that all the time. And as long as I listen I usually make the right call.
My challenge to you is to be strong enough to pivot if that feels right but also strong enough to stay the course if it doesn’t. Our gut instinct is our inner guidance system nudging you, most of the time if we’re being honest, we know what we need to do.
