Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 459 of they Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! You’re back and I couldn’t be happier to be with you, or maybe you’re new and we’re gonna be best friends, either way, I’m glad you’re here.
I was listening to Jen sincero on the school of greatness podcast a while back and she was talking about success being scary sometimes because you have to do things that you haven’t done before or that are out of your comfort zones in order to have success.
A lot of times you have to do things that aren’t pleasing other people in order to have success.
And I thought man that’s true in every single area of our life. In order to have success in relationships, in your health and fitness, your career, your finances, your mental health, there’s often a level of discomfort that comes with success in any area of our lives. And sometimes people are just not comfortable doing things out of their comfort zone and so they stay right where they are, not happy but not so miserable that they are willing to step out of their comfort zone to change it. I’ve been there.
I knew my first marriage was over when I reached a point that said “Staying with him is going to drive me insane but divorcing is against my religion which means I could lose my family, everything I know which could also drive me insane”. So I had to decide was I going to risk losing my mind by staying in a situation that was bad for me but pleased the religion and my family or was I going to risk losing my family by making a decision that was so obviously right for me but put them in a bind with the religion. The “right for me” decision at the time was not one I was used to making. I just went along to keep the peace. Doing what was seemingly right for the religion or what would please everyone else. So staying would be hard and I could and probably would lose myself in the process. Leaving would be harder but I would be doing what’s right for me in a really big way for probably the first time ever, I would not be people pleasing, I would be doing the opposite. The choice between pleasing your family and living life on your own terms is one that I think a lot of people have to make at some point or another. If you really put it in perspective though, your mom and your dad they had to make their own decisions too and I bet they disappointed some people along the way as well. You’re not alone, it’s a universal challenge. So, I opted to live life on my terms and it was really hard and I had to do a lot of things that were very uncomfortable, still do in fact but Success isn’t for weanies and sometimes to live life on your terms, you’re going to disappoint other people and once you realize that that’s just part of life, you also don’t take other people disappointing you so personally, it’s not about you, it’s about them and what they think they should be doing in their life so don’t take it personally. Side note family doesn’t always have to have the same DNA. I have friends that are closer to me than one of my own sisters. So if you’re DNA family isn’t picture perfect just know no-one else’s is either and that’s ok.
In order to be successful though, you have to make sacrifices in one way or the other. But here’s the thing I’ve found, when you’re passionate about something, those sacrifices don’t seem like a big deal to you, it’s almost like you’d have it no other way. My brother’s daughter, my sweet beautiful niece Madelyn, we call her Maddie is a really good cheerleader, she’s top of her game at her high school. I was asking her the other day what she was doing for the summer and she said well I have mandatory cheer practice twice a week and then I go practice tumbling and stunts with some of the girls from my team three times a week just on our own and in July I have a cheer camp. I asked if her all of the team practiced the extra three days a week and she said no, just a few of us. There’s no surprise that those are of course the girls that are in the top 5. They are in the gym when the other girls on the team are at the pool or in the bed. Success isn’t for weanies.
Success really isn’t easy in any area of our life. Not only do we have to deal with the opinions and conversations with other people about what we are doing, we also have to deal with ourselves and the thoughts we have about what we are doing. My mom has recently found out she is pre diabetic and so she has started walking every single day even when it’s 100 degrees. She told us that every single day she has to fight with her own mind about going, but she goes every day, which means she’s winning. She’s winning the battle with her mind.
That’s the hardest battle any of us will ever fight in our journey to success in anything. Our brain is designed to keep us safe and cozy and in our comfort zone so any time you step out of your comfort zone, you’re winning against your own mind. It feels good when we do that doesn’t it?
I knew I was going to my parents this last weekend and I don’t know about your parents but when I go home my mom likes nothing more than to feed me and it isn’t the type of food I would ever eat on a normal day to day basis. So pancakes, cookies, pizza. But if you’ve been listening, Eric, my husband and I are doing a 21 day reset and that doesn’t include pancakes, cookies or pizza. So in order to have success in that, I have to preplan, so I took my green smoothie greens and I packed veggies and hummus and I bought free range organic chicken and I took it with me and I decided in advance what I was going to eat. It was either that or not go. And yeah, they kind of think I’m crazy as I’m sitting there and they are eating my mom’s homemade blueberry pancakes with homemade blueberry syrup and butter and I’m eating eggs over easy and a green smoothie. Success definitely isn’t for weanies.
I could go on and on with stories like this but you get the point. If you want to be successful at anything, there are going to be things you have to do that are out of your comfort zone, sometimes way out. But the high you get on the other side of that is so good. Remember to pat yourself on the back as you go along. I felt very proud of myself for planning and eating the way I wanted to at my parents house, that was a success for me. My mom going for a walk in the heat even though she didn’t go as far as she would on a cooler day, that was a success for her.
You get to define what is successful to you and what success looks like in your life. Your success is gonna be very different from mine and mine from yours. Trying to gage your success from the success of someone else is the recipe for heartache. Some of the girls on my nieces cheer team, maybe they’re not tumbling the extra days because they have to work during the summer, so success to them is just making the team. It wouldn’t be fair to compare. And the girls that are at the pool instead, cheer may be fun but not their passion so success looks to them is just making the team and that’s ok.
The areas where you’re passionate, the sacrifices you make in order to succeed will look crazy to other people but feel like a no brainer to you. I’m passionate about this podcast, Im on episode 459, I’ve been doing it for 4 years now twice a week. The sacrifices I make in the time I put into it, it’s a no brainer to me. I love it, you couldn’t pay me to quit. I’ve never considered quitting even though the definition of success by industry standards is not where I am yet.
My point is success in any area gets to be defined by you. Don’t allow your mind to sell yourself short. Don’t compare yourself to anyone but you yesterday. Don’t expect it to be easy and don’t expect everyone to rally behind you, they’re too busy rallying behind themselves, as it should be.
My challenge to you today is to Quietly go about defining and achieving the success that makes you excited to get out of bed every day, no matter what it is. There will be times where it’s very uncomfortable and you’re gonna do it anyway because you’re the boss of your mind. You get to decide whether you’re gonna stay in bed or go to the gym. Whether you’re gonna go ask for the promotion or hide in your office hoping they notice you. Whether you’re gonna plan for it or allow chance to have it’s way with you. You decide how success looks and then you go for it like your life depends on it, go for it as if there’s no other option, burn the bridges as the saying goes, Yeah success is not for weanies but YOU ARE NOT A WEANIE. Share this with 3 people on their way to success in anything. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
