Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 502 of the Wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Are you having a good week? I have had a busy but really good week, I have been slowly allowing myself to stop thinking about my glamping experience which you know about if you listened to Episode 501…I seriously can’t wait to do it again, not the scary part but the glamping part or sure.
Ok, I have a question for you.
If your life had a theme song right now would it be about surviving or thriving?
It’s a good question to ponder. If I had asked myself that question 25 years ago the answer would be very different from today and I’m so grateful for it. Not only grateful for thriving but also grateful for the times in my life where I was barely surviving. If it weren’t for those survival times, this podcast wouldn’t exist. My dream relationship with my husband Eric wouldn’t exist. The peace of mind that I live in now wouldn’t exist. The times we spend living in survival pave the way for either true breakthrough to open the doors to thrive or continued and worsening survival. It’s always about how you respond to the things you are experiencing whether it’s of your own doing or just a circumstance out of your control, the way you respond and the actions you take will lay the foundation for what happens next. Some people spend most of their time in survival mode without ever getting out. Others come in and out of survival and thriving. Some spend most of their time thriving with moments of survival because life is gonna life.
What does it mean to be in survival mode? You could be escaping the pain or monotony of life by gambling, drinking or other compulsive things, you could shut down emotions as a way to cope with stress, you could be ignoring health concerns because of fear or lack of resources, you could be making decisions based on immediate relief rather than considering long term consequences. You could be constantly adjusting how you act to avoid conflict or rejection….sacrificing your own needs for the sake of someone else’s approval. A few of those hit home for me, I can relate to how those feel. I have had my share of living in survival mode and wishing I had done something different. But here’s the thing. I never stayed there, I never allowed myself to wallow in self pity for long, I would try to figure out the best next step. Usually that would include rethinking the path I was on or definitely trying not to repeat the same mistake or compound a bad mistake with another bad decision. That is a sure way to keep yourself in constant survival mode.
The beautiful thing about this life is we do not have to stay in survival mode. We are actually meant to thrive. I was talking to a friend of mine recently about life, she has been having to make some hard decisions, just like we all do at certain points in our lives. I told her I understood. I was a young single adult at one point and I was fortunate to have good friends around me that gave me advice that I needed to hear. You see life doesn’t have to be hard but sometimes we make decisions that make it hard. I’ve been there. That’s why I started going to Tony Robbins events because I knew if I kept on making the decisions I was making my life was going to just get harder. When your gut and the Universe are pointing in one direction and you go in the opposite direction because it’s easier in the moment, life can become difficult pretty quickly. Getting comfortable with short term pain so that long term you thrive is crucial. We each have it within us to be strong, to stand up for ourselves, to have our own back…maybe it’s time we step into that role.
I read something this week that I could not say any better myself so I just want to share it with you in the exact words that Aysha with Soft Healing Growth used. She said “May you stop being hard on yourself for not doing your best when you’re living with a scream inside you. A scream to run away, A scream to disappear, A scream for help. A scream to be loved. A scream to give up because you’re exhausted. A scream to be free. A scream that no-one hears but you. This is a heavy burden you’re carrying within you. You can’t force yourself to be happy when your mind and your heart are in utter chaos. You can’t expect to crush your goals when your nervous system is just too busy surviving. Sometimes, simply making it through the day is a significant achievement. So, if you find yourself unable to do anything else today, be kind to yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You didn’t have what you needed as you grew up to learn how to live this life. It will take time to heal those deep-seated wounds and outgrow the patterns you had to learn to protect yourself, which no longer serve you. So, be kind to yourself. You will find your way but it will take time.
I thought that was so beautiful and healing and wanted to share it with you guys which means someone needed to hear it besides me.
I heard someone say a long time ago to “Forgive yourself for what you did when you were in survival mode.” I have never forgotten that because it gave me relief in a time that I really needed it and it gave me permission to forgive myself and be kind to myself. When life gets hard it’s so important to always have your own back.
My challenge to you this week is to step into the role of being strong, of standing up for yourself, of forgiving yourself and finally allowing yourself a pathway away from survival into fully thriving. In whatever way that means. It may mean saying No when you want to say no. It may mean saying yes when you want to say yes. It may truly mean forgiving yourself and taking the next best step. You were meant to thrive, share this with 3 people who were meant to thrive. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
