Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 529 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Im glad you’re here. Thank you guys for listening and sharing the episodes, it means a lot to me. Also if the episodes are inspiring you or helping you click on the 3 little dots and give me a 5 star review, people really look at those to see if the podcast is worth listening to, I know do. But thank you in advance it helps the podcast reach more people, so we’re making
Have you ever felt like you are behind? Like everyone else has it all figured out but you’re just flailing about? I know I have. I bring it up because I was listening to the all in podcast recently and they had Naval on and it’s someone that I follow on X. He is a true truth seeker and has a lot of insight that I appreciate and have found helpful and inspiring. so he’s talking about how he was raised and how he raises his children and he says that he just sort of lets them do what they wanna do as if they were adults Because that’s how he was raised. He wants them to be free and to be happy and have agency (which is a fancy way to say they can act independently and take control of their choices) so he lets them have ice cream if they want ice cream and he let them play on their iPad if they wanna play on their iPad, he does have a couple of requirements they have to do Math and reading each day for a certain amount of time but he said they are learning to have agency and learning to make decisions and learning to decide what’s best for them at an early age. Naval’s approach made me think about my own upbringing. Learning to say no to things that don’t feel right and yes to those that do. That feels very right to me. Does that feel right to you?
I don’t have kids. I’m sure parents will have an opinion about this, but years ago when I was speaking to a therapist about things I had going on, she said Heidi the way you were raised. You never were able to make decisions for yourself. So, You never learned to trust yourself. I have beautiful loving parents but all decisions are and have always been, run through the filter of the religion they serve. So I just did as I was told or I was in fear of losing love from them. As a young girl I can remember my gut feeling like something wasn’t right but feeling I had no choice to make my own decision about it. When I was really young my parents made the decision to no longer speak to my mom’s mom because she smoked and wasn’t a member of the religion we were in. My little instinct was how wrong that was but I felt powerless to change it. there’s something to that, I think. There were many other examples like that. So many rules to be followed without question even when they felt off. Teaching us to blindly follow rules not our instinct. I’ve learned and made mistakes as an adult things that I probably should’ve learned as a kid and as I was listening to this podcast, I thought wow it’s upsetting because I’m behind in life because of how I was raised with such strict rules. That’s the actual thought I had listening to Naval talk. I’m behind because of how I was raised.
That’s a thought that I am definitely glad to be aware of and one that I definitely do not want to keep thinking or believing. And let me just break in for a moment and say..that wasn’t an original thought. It was out there by someone else, by a well meaning therapist, as I noted earlier but it was years ago that she said that and here I am in present day acting as if it were true. This is why we have to be so careful what labels we take on that other people well meaning or not may give us. If your dr tells you working out is bad for you, one person may say well the dr said I can’t work out anymore and never does again and we know how that is gonna end, someone else hears that from a dr and immediately disregards anything they say after. We each have to take agency over our own lives. Labels if they aren’t good can and often will tank what’s possible for us. So I readjusted after I had the thought of being behind and asked what’s really true. I’m not behind my journey is my journey the thought that I am behind requires that I compare myself to someone who was raised to think for themselves at a very early age, it also requires the belief that that way of being raised is definitely better. Neither one of those thoughts serve me and neither one of them are hard facts, so why think them? It does me no good. If I look at my life from a worlds eye view…
what in the world makes me think I’m behind? In what way? The only way in which I could think I’m behind is if I compared myself to someone else because I have more than my little girl imagination could have ever thought up. Comparing myself to 4 men who have made millions and millions by being venture capitalists is silly. That’s not my zone of genius. I’m not even interested in it, the reason their podcast speaks to me is they talk about lots of things, heath, wellness, politics, crypto currency and many other topics that I love.
My zone of genius is design and self improvement. How do I know that? Because that’s what I spend time on, that’s what I can’t get enough of. That’s what I can do all day long and it doesn’t feel like work. I spend hours and hours on the Wildly Successful podcast and it doesn’t feel like work. I spend hours and hours working on design projects and it doesn’t feel like work. That’s how I know that’s my zone of genius.
I’m only behind if I let myself think I am. In reality, I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. How do I know that? Because that’s where I am? Do I want more? Yeah, I do. But that’s human nature. That wouldn’t change even if I were a venture capitalist making 20 million a year, human nature hits a goal and then automatically looks for another. Think about it. Has that ever NOT been true for you?
Have you ever reached a goal and just said well that’s it, that’s all I want. I’m done forever. Maybe a momentary thought but human nature wants more. That’s what keeps us growing. That’s what keeps us alive. Always wanting more, always wanting to be better, always wanting to grow.
The challenge is to be satisfied with where you are, while at the same time knowing that wanting more is normal. When that happens now you’re in the flow.
You see, you’re not behind. You’re human. If there’s something you desire greatly. That means in some way you’re meant to have it. Being in the flow will attract it to you faster than anything, being satisfied with where you are puts you in the flow.
I will close with the words of Naval himself. “Schools, politics, sports, and games train us to compete against others. True rewards. Wealth, knowledge, love, fitness, and equanimity come from ignoring others and improving ourselves.”
It’s fun to have healthy competition. Compete in sports. Compete in games. Competing in challenges.
Those trophies give you a high. But it’s a high that’s fleeting.
Knowing you’re enough, knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, loving what you already have, while at the same time being excited for what’s to come is a high that can last forever.
My challenge to you today is to remember you’re not behind, you’re on your on path and that path won’t look just like anyone else’s path so don’t focus on someone else’s growth, focus on your own. Don’t compare yourself to someone else, the only comparison that is real is who you were yesterday. Are you better today? Have you grown? Would little you be in awe of who you are today? Maybe you don’t like the answer to that, but at least now you have a goal. Share this with three people you’re proud of, I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
