“Look for the good stuff”
Hi guys! Welcome to episode 166 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Thank you guys so much for listening and telling your friends to listen! And…I love getting messages from you so don’t hesitate to email me at heidi@heididawson.com
Have you ever been mad about a situation and someone says “well look on the bright side” and that just made you mad?? Hahaha at that moment, you don’t want to look on the bright side, you are upset and you don’t want to hear anything about the bright side…Pretty sure we’ve all been there.
We have all been dealing with so much the last two years and a lot of it has been completely out of our control. And people still have the regular problems. Family issues, cancer, money issues, COVID canceled your wedding and your last three big trips. You name it. I could name them all but you know what yours is. There’s so much that we can look at and justifiably be mad about. Join groups where everyone else is mad too. There’s always a group that will get behind you…Being mad is actually very ok. There are things that are going to upset you, to anger you, to make you feel out of control. And so much of it’s justifiable.
But here’s the thing. You don’t want to live there.
I wish I could reach out and give everybody a big hug because I think that’s what we need. A big hug and a little bit of a focus adjustment.
Because we are dealing with so much we tend to want to zone out and not deal with any of it, but are we missing good stuff because we are so focused on the rotten stuff which is prevalent right now?
Did just me saying that irritate you? I feel you!
I’m currently reading “Maybe you should talk to someone” by Lori Gottlieb. Chapter 12 is titled “Welcome to Holland”.
It’s named for an essay where the author is excited about her trip to Italy. She’s been planning for a while and bought all the books of where to go, learned all the things she needed to know about Italy, but when the plane lands they announce welcome to Holland. Shocked, she says I’m supposed to be in Italy! No! But in the essay there’s nothing that can be done and she has to stay in Holland. She laments not getting to Italy but life brought her to Holland. She has a choice to be sad and mope, I would say justifiably or because the situation isn’t going to change she can pivot and find the beauty in Holland. Meet the new people she’s never met, eat the food she wouldn’t have eaten, visit the windmills she would never have seen. She found the beauty and the joy in the hand she was dealt. Now to some it may seem like defeatism but when you have a situation you can’t change. What’s your alternative? You get to decide “Am I going to let this ruin my life or am I going to make the most of it”. The serenity prayer is one I’ve talked about before and I love it so much. Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
We’ve had a lot of decisions like that lately haven’t we? We can be pissed off about lots of things but is anything you’re doing affecting change? Because if it’s not and you’re mad, you’re only hurting yourself. You’re not helping anything.
When I was told I’m gluten sensitive, allergic to dairy, allergic to white wine, allergic to so many of my favorite foods and I should really not eat at restaurants because you don’t know what you’re eating, I felt like crying. One of our most fun things to do was to eat out, which we did for 4-5 week. That’s just how we lived and we loved it. So I realized I can continue to cry about it and complain about it or I can embrace it, have fun learning to cook, have fun cooking for all of our friends and have them over for dinner instead of meeting them at a restaurant. That’s a big change for us.
But you know what? I’m finding joy in new recipes, in finding new things that taste delicious and are nutritious and give my body energy instead of the opposite. We have had to pivot and it’s ok. Who knew I could cook the most amazing sea bass? I’m having conversations with my little sister about sea bass being on sale at Whole Foods. Prior to 2 months ago, I had never even known what in the world to do with the fresh fish I saw displayed and now I do. It’s opened up a whole new world and I’m loving it. I have also found that when we do go to a restaurant, they are very accommodating! I have a whole new appreciation for food and restaurants.
And I know that is a minor issue and there are people with much worse issues out there than I’m dealing with, of course. But, honestly when we are dealt a hand, and that’s not going to change, we can decide to let it crush us or wake us up to a new journey, one we hadn’t planned on and wouldn’t have wished for but is ours nonetheless.
My challenge to you today is when something comes up, maybe you’re in the middle of it right now, but when the hand you’re dealt is not the hand you thought you would get, no matter if it’s big or small… look for the good stuff. It’s always there. Look for the friends bringing you dinner, the hugs that are maybe a little awkward but given anyway, the smile of encouragement, the stranger offering help….maybe just the person slowing down to let you in in traffic. But always Look for the good stuff, because what you seek you will find. I love you guys, have an awesome day and I will talk to you in a few days.
