Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 331 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Welcome to new listeners! Thanks for being here and hello to all my old friends. Always good to be with you……..
My older sister was in town this last weekend for a pottery class. She’s taking how to she learning how to do the pottery wheel better.
So when her pottery class is over, I asked her of course how it went and she said do you know it was so extremely interesting, because there were nine people in class, and we all had the exact same pottery wheels, the exact same clay, and we were using the exact same technique, but everyone’s piece looks so different. That was so interesting to me that everyone was using the same machine, the same clay, the exact same technique that the teacher had shown them and every single piece was very different. Every single student did their best at making that first piece and it WAS the first piece for most of them, and what came of it is this lovely piece of pottery that they each had created in their own way.
But, I love that that was the main thing she noticed That Each person made a piece of pottery using the same technique, but looked completely different. The thing I thought about when she said that was and for every person that you ask there would be a different opinion on which piece was the most beautiful. And they would all be right because beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. If you’re trying to make the best in your eyes and it’s the best that you can do then you’ll always succeed if you’re trying to make the best in someone else’s eyes you will haven no idea how to do it because everyone has a different standard or qualifier for what beautiful is.
We have a home showcase locally called the Vesta home show if you’re local you probably know it, it’s basically a parade of homes where designers and builder get together to showcase their product, A few years ago there was one where there was a designer who was an up and coming designer, whose work I had seen before and LOVED, so I was excited to go to this particular Vesta home show because I am a fan of his design. He was just sort of coming into his own when he did this home show. Anyway, I just knew he was going to blow every other house out of the water and win all of the awards because he really is that good. So when it comes time to go through the homes, I was not disappointed it was spectacular in every way. Every single room looked like it was carefully curated and no detail left to chance. It blew me away, BUT it had not blown the judges away, He didn’t win best design, I don’t know if they won best anything and I had thought they would win best everything! As I was walking through I was thinking man he got ripped this could be in any magazine in New York, LA, Europe, I ran into the designer at the show and I told him “you and I both know how good your design is, you are just ahead of Memphis by several years.” And of course he was humble but he was really proud of his final product and he knew it was great and he knew it was forward thinking and of course it would have been nice to win but he wasn’t phased, fast forward 4 years and he is on tv as a design expert, he has been in Architectural digest, Milieu magazine, won award after award, been spotlighted by prestigious magazines all over the world. His design at the Vesta was by far more forward thinking and fresh than any other design in my humble opinion but that’s not how the judges in Memphis saw it. The house that won best design was underwhelming, but it was a very southern and safe style and not to take anything from their hard work, but he knew his design was ahead of it’s time and if he had tried to fit into what he thought everyone would like, he may have won a local award but he wouldn’t have been true to himself and he wouldn’t have gotten noticed by clients and magazines around the world. Just like the pottery….just like anything in this world, if you try to fit into what someone else wants from you, you may win short term in their eyes, but you also may lose long term in yours.
People who listen to their gut and follow their own heart very often times have to buck the system which can lead to short term pain but what you gain long term is far better.
So how does this help us in day to day life? There have been many times where one of my subcontractors for my contractor tell me they don’t think the design I have planned is going to look right, but guess what, my job is for the design, if I changed my mind every time someone doubted me I would never get anything done. Now, If they say it’s not safe or technically impossible, well now we have to have a conversation, but If they are just doubting how it’s going to look and I’m 100% it’s going to look great, I’m going for it and the full responsibility will be on me if it doesn’t and that’s a risk I’ll take. Everyone is going to have an opinion and remember they are all going to be different. So if you’re certain something is right for you, then you gotta have the balls to go for it otherwise you may end up with regret. When people are on their deathbed, they don’t regret their mistakes the most, they regret the missed opportunities, the risks they wish they had of taken, that’s what they regret the most. And look it doesn’t even have to be that serious…..Our friends and family, coworkers, all have opinions on what we should or should not be doing. I mean I have opinions about other people too, it’s human nature, no problem with that. But do we lean into what they want more, ignoring our own thoughts and wishes? For instance, small things, I like my hair darker. It is naturally dark but for a long time I had it highlighted to be pretty blonde. As I gradually went back to my darker roots, I had people with opinions say, Oh I like your hair better blonde, others would say I love your hair color darker… lots of opinions And that’s ok! I don’t mind that at all. But I like myself with darker hair, so that’s what I have. I feel more beautiful and authentic that way. If I followed what someone else wanted and now my hair is blonde, but when I look in the mirror I don’t like what I see, but someone else does, is that being true to me? I don’t think so. My nail ladies, god love em, always want me to do these bright colors on my nails, red or blue or green, it’s so funny, they tell me that Im boring with my versions of pale pink or lavender, that’s how I step out with a very light lavender. But I have tried those bright colors in the past and I don’t like it, so I just laugh when they want to do them and I tell them no way, I don’t like that on me. I know what I like and I go with what I like. I feel more graceful and beautiful with the colors I choose. It may not be right for everyone but it’s right for me. You are never wrong when you choose what is right for you.
Now sometimes, you’re going to do something like cut bangs and you’re gonna hate it and your mom is gonna say I told you so. But was it wrong to try? That designer I was telling you about had painted these thick chains white and hung them on the wall in a row as art in the living room, it was so creative and different and edgy and looked so good and it probably was one of the things that cost him the award because it was so out there, but was it wrong to try? No way, it may just be one of the things that got him noticed nationally. I remember it and it’s been 5 years, I don’t remember one specific thing from the actual house that won best design, but I can tell you several specific things about his design in that show case. Lots of people had strong opinions about his design. That’s when you know you’re good. And he had to follow his instinct to do that.
When you have a passion or a desire in your heart, when you follow your instinct, your gut you’re always right to do that even if you end up realizing you need to pivot, you owe it to yourself to give yourself the chance to live a life on your terms. When you live life on your terms, you make the rules, you decide how success looks. You decide if the waves in the pottery bowl are imperfections or exactly the way you designed it. Ive often looked at pieces and wondered if that was a beautiful mistake or if someone set out to design it that way. When you live life on your terms, you get to decide that.
So when you follow your heart, you love where your life is heading. Maybe not where you exactly are, because maybe you have some growth pains or other people opinion pains, but ultimately you love where things are heading…
My challenge to you this week is to have the guts to follow your heart in whatever you do, you may not win the award short term but the long term award is giving yourself the chance to live a life that’s on your terms, where you decide what’s successful and what isn’t. It’s ok for other people to have opinions and it’s ok for you to take them into consideration, but the ultimate decision has to lie with you, It’s tempting to want to put that decision off on someone else so you’re not responsible. But that’s not how you get to your zone of genius. You get there by having the gut to follow your heart. Share this with 3 gutsy people…I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
