Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 343 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! What’s up? I am often curious if titles matter to you guys. I know some of you listen no matter what the title is but for others, does the title sway you? I would love to hear from you so send me an email at heidi@heididawson.com and let me know if titles matter to you. And if so, what topics grab your attention?
Ok, We live in a society of absolutes. There is a right way to be. There’s one right way to eat. If you don’t move this much you’re doing it wrong. This religion is the only right one. This political party is the only right one. There is one right way and if you veer from it, you’re wrong.
I recently was helping a client choose paint for her now home and she was just really frustrated and stressed out. So I told her to order certain color ways in those big peel and stick samples and we would meet and make some decisions. So that’s what she did. So we meet in her new house and we are looking at the choices and we decide on the choices that she loved and looked great in her space.
The next day she text me saying she was freaking out and second guessing everything. This is fairly norma when it comes to paint especially when it’s all over. It costs a lot to paint! But here’s the thing. Her struggle comes from fear that she’s not making the right decision.
So I told her what I’ve told myself and lots of other clients. I said “ look there’s no ONE right decision”. There’s 100 paint colors that would look beautiful. We just have to pick one.
When I was planning the design for my kitchen I could have designed several different plans that would have looked great and I actually did have a few but I had to narrow it down and that’s what I did. In order to get started I had to make a decision. I knew there were a million different choices I could make that would look beautiful. I just had to choose one.
That one thought has helped me more to find peace when I’m stressed than any other. There isn’t only ONE way. I just have to find the one that’s right for me.
There are a lot of little choices we have to make every single day. What should I wear? What should I eat? What should I do at the gym? But there’s big ones too. Which college do I attend? What church should I go to? Should I get married? Should I have children?
The key is to narrow it down and make a decision. Once you make a decision, you just have to line up with that decision. Because once you’ve lined up with it, no one can sway you. Yes there may be other options that would also be great but this is the one I chose.
But you have to line up with it. If you’re still questioning in your mind if you’ve made the wrong decision, you’ll still be searching and wondering and questioning. Which makes it very hard for even YOU to get totally on board with that decision. And now you’re looking for other people to tell you you made the right decision. Which begs the question… how do they know what’s right for you if you don’t even know? Answer is they don’t. They know what they want for you. But they have no idea what is right for you. They know what they think is right for you but that comes with their agenda, how can it not?
When I made the decision to leave the religion I grew up in, I was scared and uncertain, which that made for a lot of questioning and soul searching. My intuition said it was right for me but so many people were saying it was wrong. that’s the way to quickly derail your alignment with your decision by asking everyone else’s opinion.
It wasn’t until I lined up with my decision that I started focusing on why it was right instead of questioning my decision, I started moving forward towards things that felt way more right. That’s the power of lining up. You stop questioning whether you made the right decision and just keep taking the steps that feel right in your gut.
And look I have an episode coming out about other people’s opinions but for now suffice it to say they may have a different opinion and it may be great but that doesn’t mean you change your mind. You could just be switching one good decision for another one because there are hundreds of choices that would be great. Most of the time…..There isn’t just one right one.
And keep in mind. Their idea of a good decision may be better for them and your good decision may be better for you. Both good it doesn’t mean someone’s wrong and someone’s right. I don’t know if you know who Fredrich Nietzsche is but he was
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes the biggest problem we have is we think we are going to make a wrong decision so we make no decision at all. I have clients that have had beautiful art sitting in their closet for literally years because they are afraid they will hang it wrong so they don’t hang it all. They aren’t getting the benefit of seeing that art because they are so paralyzed they will make a wrong move that they do nothing.
My big sister thinks her religion is the only one that’s right. I have two friends that swear there’s are the one that’s right. That’s three different opinions on religion and all three feel in their heart it’s right. So does that make 2 of them wrong? No. Because it’s right for them. Don’t try to make them wrong or try to make yourself wrong because there’s not ONE right way. There are 8 billion people on the Earth. Do you honestly think there can be ONE right anything?
When you’re making a decision, which is every single day. But when you’re making one that really matters to you…stop and remind yourself. There are so many options that could be great, you just have to choose one. I want you to have one this one thought because it really is helpful…there is no ONE right way for everyone. Your life is your life, not your mom’s not your sisters not your neighbors not your coworkers, YOURS and you get to live it exactly the way you decide to
My point is stop overwhelming yourself. Yes you have a decision and yes there are probably 50 right ways of doing anything. Pick one And line up with it. And when you’re counting opinions, your opinion gets two votes because it really is the only one that matters.
Share this with 3 people who you love that need to make a decision. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days!
