Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 537 of The Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I’m happy you’re here. As always I hope you’re enjoying the episodes and if you are I hope you share them and also give me a 5 star review if you are loving them. You can also follow the show or subscribe so that you get a little notice every time I publish, which is twice a week!
These episodes are really meant as quick little reminders twice a week about the possibility for each of us to help ourselves be happier and healthier by being intentional. Just a little bit of intentionality goes a long way in creating a life that is fulfilling. A fulfilling, happy healthy life doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by being intentional. It’s weird isn’t it? We think being intentional is hard but the life we live without intention is actually much harder. But where do we draw the line? How intentional do we have to be to live a healthy, well balanced life? Because you can get carried away and be so structured that you forget to live. I guess it’s for each of us to decide just how much intention we need in our life to live it to the fullest.
I was listening to a podcast and there was a woman who was on the Gary Brecka’ the Ultimate human podcast and as I listened to her my thoughts went from “yikes she seems more like a robot than a human” to “I hope I’m not that annoying”. I had to check my thoughts because that’s a lot of judging going on there, I know. But also I thought why am I annoyed? Why would anything she is doing which was A LOT, why would anything she’s doing bother me? I don’t know her personally, so we don’t have to hang out, so what’s the problem? Why am I bothered? Am I bothered because it makes me see holes in the way I live? When something about someone else’s life bothers you is it because it makes you evaluate yourself and maybe you come up a little short?
So was my initial knee jerk “ugh, she’s too much” reaction really about her or was it more about me? Maybe it’s that little insecure voice thinking “wow she’s really got it all dialed in and here I am, much older than her and am just now really figuring out how much protein I should be eating. Isn’t it interesting that we can admire someone’s discipline or success but then it flips into this quiet resentment or self doubt? I do believe it’s human nature to measure ourselves against others, even when we don’t mean to. But here’s the kicker: maybe it’s not about coming up short at all. Maybe it’s a signal that we are noticing something we would really like to tweak in our own lives, not to copy them, but to get more intentional in our own way. I believe that the people we surround ourselves with daily influence us greatly and that includes the people you listen to on podcasts or see on social media. Like, her robotic vibe may have annoyed me a little but also made me ask myself hard questions: Am I enjoying the changes I’ve made? Is my version of healthy still working for me? Are there things I need to add or subtract? Comparisons’ a tricky one. I think it is a quick way to tear yourself down but if human nature takes over and it happens, can we make something good of it by letting it nudge us forward?
There’s definitely a reason she struck a nerve with me. Now that I think of it, I have noticed that people that are a little extra often do, and by extra I mean standing out, being extra talented, extra special. If I really want to take a deep dive into why, I may have the answer. The only reason I have the answer is I was listening to Tony Robbins on his podcast this last week talking to a lady attending one of his seminars. She stood up when he was talking about how sometimes understanding why you do what you do will involve understanding how you were raised. He was talking about how the parent that you craved the most love from played a big role in how you are today. So when you think back to what you had to do, or how you had to be or act to get that love from that parent, you more than likely still do that thing to this day because you grew up doing that to feel love.
As we often do, we analyze how that works in our case, I realized that even though I loved both my parents the same, I did kind of crave love and attention a little more from my dad. And giving it some thought, I realized that in order to win love from him, I needed to tow the line, to play small in a way, don’t be extra Don’t be all that I knew I could be because that doesn’t work really well growing up in a strict religion. There were times when he told me, in an effort to “keep my feet on the ground” that I wasn’t that pretty so I needed to scale it back and when my class put my name in for Homecoming queen, I was told that wasn’t impressive and I need to take my name out of the running, which I did. I was actually scared to tell my dad that I had been nominated in the first place. Success in his eyes only came through the religion. It was like a lightbulb going off when I realized that I seemed to always sabotage myself when I started getting too fit or too successful. I started noticing that I would scale back in order to play small, because in my little girl mind that meant love would be held back. But like Tony said “Who you had to be as a child is not who you have to be as an adult”. It puts an exclamation point on a quote I read I think it was by Naval “when you’re born, you look like your parents, when you die, you look like your decisions.
I’m no longer the little girl that has to play small to be loved. I can be as extra or as intentional as I want without losing love. I no longer need to sabotage my progress to not bring attention to myself. I also don’t have to roll my eyes when someone else is being extra. Because that has nothing to do with me, unless I let it, and If I let it, I hope instead of tearing myself down, I let it nudge me to move forward.
So how about you? Do you notice that certain people bother you more than others? Could it be they are just highlighting some areas you would like to tweak? Is there something you’re doing subconsciously that is sabotaging your progress?
My challenge to you today is to notice when something about someone bothers you, ask yourself why. Does it have more to do with you than them? Could it be a signal that your noticing an area that needs to be tweaked in your own life? It’s not a comfortable question, but knowing the answer could explain a lot and also be crucial in moving you forward. I know it does for me! Share this with 3 people who are forward thinkers, I love you guys! I’ll talk to you in a few days.
