Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 445 of The Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Im glad you’re here. It’s a good day whenever we can be together. How many of you guys have something in your life that you once thought was really stable and now you are worried that it’s not as stable as you once hoped? When we were kids, for fortunate kids anyway, our parents were a stabling factor for us. We never even considered that there might be a day where we might not have that stability. Or we buy a new car and when you buy it, they offer a warranty…why? Because they know things can go wrong….. If you really think about it, what is there that we can rely on to always be stable or to always be completely reliable?
What’s left when the car breaks down, the relationship ends, the loved one dies, the house burns down and your job goes to AI? What’s left at that point? Is there anything left for you to rely on?
So many of us go through life putting our hope in tomorrow. We put our happiness off until we get this job or this relationship or this car. We think it’s that next thing that’s gonna make me happy. That accomplishment. If only I won that award or got that promotion. We are constantly on the lookout for stability somewhere in something.
But then we get it and we live with it for a minute or two and we realize ok wait well that wasn’t quite it either so now I need this next thing this other future thing and then I’ll feel the way I want to feel and that cycle just keeps happening over and over. Or maybe we get it and it brings us a bit of happiness but now we are terrified that if we lose it we will be nothing or we will be left with nothing. When will it be enough? Will anything ever be enough? Am I ever going to feel completely at peace, am I ever going to feel like I am finally on stable ground? Have you ever thought that?
I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle‘s books the last three weeks or so and they’re really speaking to me and one story he told, he was hiking in the mountains, and they came across some old dilapidated buildings, and there was a sign that said all structures are unstable And Eckhart looked at his friend and chuckled and said whoever wrote that sign probably had no idea how truthful that is. When we think our peace and our stability is only coming from something outside of us, we’re gonna constantly be searching.
The more stable you are inside, the more stable your life will be outside. I know this all too well. For so many years I thought if only my family would act like this, I would finally be able to feel like I have something stable to rely on. But instead of getting more reliable, it seemed it was getting less reliable, how in the world was I ever going to feel stable when I couldn’t even rely on my own blood to be there no matter what. Nothing I was willing to do was going to make that happen so I went on a journey of finding stability elsewhere. I did quite well, I found a spectacular husband, anyone who knows him will be nodding their head in vicious agreement right now, he treats me like a queen. I was published for my design on the front page of a design magazine, I have the house of my dreams, friends, all the things, but still at some point, it was not enough. I kept searching for stability outside of me not realizing that without an inner knowing of my own stability and peace there was no structure externally that would ever be stable enough to fill me up. And from there came my work. And all through that work, I found that I thought I wanted to change the world so that I would finally feel stable, but what I ultimately needed to do was change where I was searching for stability. I wasn’t going to find it outside of me, that’s why I never could. And you wont find it outside of you either, not permanently.
I was talking with Eric about this just this morning and he said well, relationships can be a source of stability just like your family can be a source of stability, or your job can be as well. So yes, but they can be a source of stability but they cant be THE source of stability. The main source of stability in your life has to be you otherwise you’re depending on unstable structures. You’re the one that has been consistently there for you your entire life. If you can stop for just one minute and think about that. You aren’t your thoughts, you are the one that notices your thoughts. You aren’t your behaviors, you are the one that notices your behaviors.
There is the you that was born into this body and the you that will be in your body until you die. It’s your being, the one that has been with you your whole life. There is a part of you that has always been there looking out for you and is always stable. It’s just whether or not you’re drowning that part of you out, by thinking the thoughts that come so naturally you don’t even notice them anymore.
Just being conscious that you are a being separate from your thoughts gives you the freedom to see that you are not your thoughts. You are not your past mistakes or successes. You are a being experiencing the thoughts and the life you are living. This is so freeing because it releases us from the clutches of our mind. Our minds can poison our lives and often does.
I was driving the other day thinking about a good friend of mine who is going through something really hard right now and I was torn because I don’t want to be part of the drama but I also want to be supportive of my friend. I actually heard myself think “I’m so confused about what to do here” Im so confused about how to think about it. But I noticed that thought and I stopped it mid way and said wait, “I am not confused.” I don’t have to understand the situation at all to be supportive. I’m sad about the circumstances but I’m not confused about my position on where I stand as her friend. You see my ego, my mind wanted to create drama, it wanted to make something about me when it has nothing to do with me. Our mind left to it’s own devices will create all kinds of drama and misery for us.
I tell you this story because It’s very powerful to be able to separate your true self from the mind that likes to create drama and instability for you. You know how to create stability in your life, but your ego and your thoughts will often want to create drama because that keeps them running the show. The most complete stability you can have in your life is the being that is always with you and has always been with you. That being wants only what’s best for you, that being is the calm, centered, strong inner voice that we all have that tells us to do what is right, not what is easy. You follow that being, you follow that inner voice’s advice and you will create the stability, peace, happiness and abundance that we are all seeking and those outside things will just be the cherry on top.
At the end of the day, the only totally stable structure we have is our own inner guidance, which some will call being, others call inner spirit. How are you making space so that that inner spirit is more often present and awake than not? How do you make sure that the noise that often drowns out that presence has a volume button controlled by you? I can tell you for me, I do that through meditation, journaling, being in nature, reading, and sometimes just sitting in the complete silence of the morning. How often are you making time to clear your mind of the noise? That is where you will find your stability, the stability you can rely on. Share this with 3 people who are seeking stability, I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
