Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 447 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Glad to be here with you. Like one of my fitness instructors used to say “It’s a great day, to have a good day, if you want to have a good day”. And who doesn’t want to have a good day, right?
I know you guys are going to relate to this story. I woke up this morning and did my morning brushing my teeth and my hair and all the morning stuff and then I came downstairs and made my coffee and we had had several friends over for dinner so the dishwasher was full of clean dishes, so I put them away and there were a few wine glasses in the sink so I washed them and then I made my green drink, I’ve been making a green smoothie for the last few weeks and it’s really a good addition to my nutrition, so I finally get to sit down and enjoy my coffee and smoothie and when I sat down, I noticed how disconnected I felt from my surroundings, I usually just take it all in and feel so connected.
Our sun room is floor to ceiling windows in every direction with trees being the only thing you see, so I am normally just appreciating this but this morning I didn’t feel connected to it and I realized it was because from the moment I got up to just about the time I sat down to have my coffee I was completely in my head. I was totally not present in my surroundings. I was thinking about last night and things that were said and the fun night we had and then I thought about a few things I had said…My sister in law was over and she and I have a wonderful relationship, I just love her. She asked me last night to hand her a vegetable cutting knife from the drawer, I laughingly said “speak English to me woman,” because she is quite the chef and I would not consider myself to be that, so I had no idea what kind of knife she was looking for, so she laughed and I held up several different knives and by the 4th one I had nailed it.
But I replayed that in my head this morning, wondering if that had come off as rude when I was trying to be funny. She didn’t seem bothered by it at all but here I am the next morning creating problems where there weren’t any. And then there were a few other conversations I was mulling over in my head. It was a really fun night with no drama but you wouldn’t know that this morning in my head…..Seriously this is how I started my morning and as I noticed how not present I was, I also noticed how there was a low level of anxiety there that isn’t normally there for me in the morning. I was so in my head that nothing around me seemed even real until I really just stopped and became connected with my immediate environment again. I literally said to myself, wow you’ve been in your head for about 45 minutes this morning. I was just going through the motions of the day without even noticing really what I was doing. But I’m glad it happened because that’s how I used to live a lot of my life before doing all the thought work and mindset work. It reminded me how easy it is to become completely detached from the present by focusing on the past or worrying about the future.
And none of what I created in my head was real, I’m sure of it. But it was causing me a low level grade of anxiety when I’m normally in complete zen. My mornings are lovely, if I can say that without sounding weird. I cherish my early mornings more than any other time of the day because that’s when I set the tone for the day really. I do my meditation and journaling. I am usually extremely present with my beautiful surroundings. My thoughts are very intentional in the mornings because I am usually so present. So this was a contrast for me but I’m glad it happened because it shows me there’s so much more work to do, but I’m here for it.
We all do it though, right? It’s just how often can you catch yourself doing it and bring yourself back to present.
My husband, Eric was telling me a story this last week of he was standing with his first officer outside waiting to get picked up by the crew bus that takes him out to the airplane when he saw his boss a few feet away so he walked over and said hello and they were chatting when all of a sudden he looked down and noticed that his flight bag was gone. There were other bags there but his was gone, he went from being present with his boss to totally somewhere else in his head. Now he is imagining where he could have left it, did he even bring it out? What could have happened to it, he was so in his head that he forgot he was in a conversation with his boss, he was so in his head it didn’t dawn on him that he had blown his boss off until he realized his boss had walked away. Long story short, his FO had accidentally taken Eric’s bag so no harm done. But was there no harm? Now Eric was thinking I just totally blew my boss off, now they are friends and when Eric text him to apologize, he laughed and said I was going to ask what was wrong but I just let it go. Fortunately he didn’t get in his head about it. We have so many opportunities throughout the day to get in our head about things. And one of the most dangerous places you can be sometimes is in your head. Because usually we aren’t creating hearts and rainbows, it’s usually us creating drama and black clouds. That’s why it’s so important to be able to notice when you’re in your head and bring yourself back to the present.
When I’m present, I really see and hear the person I am with, I’m not focusing on how their hair looks weird today or thinking about what I’m gonna say next. When I’m present I notice how much greener the trees look today after that lightening storm we had this week instead of replaying a conversation in my head and not noticing that there is even trees in front of me at all. When I’m present, I actually enjoy the drive into work instead of wondering how I made it because I don’t remember the drive at all because I was so in my head. When I’m present, I’m not in the past or in the future, in fact Im not in my head at all, I’m alert and alive.
My challenge to you today is to catch yourself at least once when you’re totally in your head and bring yourself back to the present, intentionally. In fact, If you could do it once each day this week, you’ll notice you get better and better at it. You’ll notice how much time you spend totally in your head, but the more you notice, the easier it will be to bring yourself back to the present. And the present…that’s where all the real stuff happens. So get outta your head this week. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
