Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 178 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast…
Ha. Oh man. How about that title? I love it. But it’s a serious question and one we should all consider every day.
Who do you think you are? Who does your brain tell you you are? Do you ever stop for a minute and think? Are you defining yourself or are you living a version of yourself that is being defined by your environment, or by what you think others expect from you or by what others have told you that you are.
You are a unique individual with unique desires, unique needs, and your very own unique path. That’s your very own path and you’re on it alone. Of course there are those that are walking on a path next to you, maybe it’s been parallel for a long time but no-one is walking the exact same path. Does that scare you to think that way or does it kind of intrigue you? Do you ever really just think about that?
Picture it. You’re walking this path that is the trajectory of your life. Are you following the path that others have created before you? That well worn path that society has created…the one where by this age you should do this, by this age you should do this and you’re weird if you don’t have this partner at this stage or these kids at this stage and everyone in this family or this group does this for work so that’s what you should be doing too because that’s what is expected, but there is a part of you that wants, that needs something different. That craves more than what you’re experiencing on that path. Of course you do because we are born to create…not follow a well beaten path and then die. You have dreams and callings inside of you that are specific to you. The reason why no-one around you is doing those things you desire is because that’s your calling. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong or you’re weird for wanting it, it means it’s something you were put here to create. The world may not see it if you don’t do it.
Sometimes you have this thing you want to do or an idea but then your brain says oh well it’s been done already or somebody else can do it better or I could never do that. Those are all just thoughts, they aren’t real and they aren’t true. No-one’s done it before with all you have to offer. No-one has your unique spin on it. If there’s something you have been wanting to do and it keeps nagging at you…you’re supposed to do it and don’t let anything stop you. You might think there is a path that you SHOULD be taking and so you dutifully trudge down that path and every so often you come to a fork in the path and there’s one you’ve been told you’re supposed to take and there’s the one that intrigues you and calls you. The longer you pass the one up that you are called to, the harder it will be to find it again and the less often it will show itself to you.
You are the center of your universe. You are the one and only one that’s going to know what it takes to make you happy and fulfilled. I saw a friend posted a meme, a dear friend I’ve had since I was a teenager. It said you aren’t going to find yourself in somebody else. I love that.
People want you to though. They want you to act like them. Believe what they believe. And that’s fine if you truly believe it but for instance, my older sister and I love her so much, we are very different but that’s ok. She told me one time that I should be back in their religion because that’s what we do. That’s how our family was raised and even if I don’t like it that keeps us together as a family. You know what I hear when she says that? Don’t do what you want to do with your life, do what I want you to do with your life. How many of us have heard some version of that? But then where does that end? You’re going to have to be a chameleon to be what someone else wants you to be because they change, and then you have to change and it won’t ever be good enough. That’s why it’s so important to be in touch with what you want, how you want to live, how you want to show up and who you want to be.
Let’s say though for a minute, I decided to go back to the religion to make my family happy. Ok now I’m not happy but I get to be around my family a lot more and I really do love them. So now they’re happy thought for the moment, but then here comes The pandemic and guess what. Big surprise. My opinions different from them on this as well. I choose not to live in fear, I’m not isolating in my home afraid of other humans. Of course we all did in the beginning but now it’s gotten to the point where I think it’s ridiculous. But my family still after almost 2 years don’t feel safe going to a restaurant, they are still virtual for their religious meetings. They want to isolate as much as possible and they only feel comfortable around people that are masked and vaccinated. So now in order for my family to be happy again with me I have to change my opinions what I want to do again just to be able to be acceptable to them. It won’t stop there though. There’s always going to be something more you have to do to please someone else, it will never be enough. That’s why you have to follow what you want. And sometimes that does mean doing nice things for other people, of course it does, but when you do it from a place of love and happiness and because you truly want to then you don’t have resentment about it, you both feel good about it.
When you know who you are and you trust yourself to make the right calls for you, that’s powerful stuff. You don’t just go along being dragged in 100 different directions trying to please everyone. You make decisions based on what is right for you. When you do that, everything falls into place. When you are in touch with who you are, everyone around you benefits. And you think it’s the opposite. Society wants you to believe you have to live according to the norms, do what’s right for the other person before yourself, but you know what that does? It keeps everyone fussy. You’re not living true to yourself, which makes you grumpy and resentful and then the people around you pick up on that energy because that’s how it works, you can put a big smile on your face, but your vibe and your energy are the ones doing the talking. You aren’t fooling anyone. Your energy speaks louder than your smile. Why not just let go and figure out what it is you really want, who you truly want to be, how you want your life to look in a year, how you want your body to look in a year, how you want your relationships to be in a year. If something isn’t working for you and you know it, but you keep doing the same things every day…nothing is going to miraculously change.
We think it will but it won’t.
Change happens from discomfort. Change happens from creating different habits. Change happens when you decide to dig deep and define who you are rather than letting society or your family, or your past decide who you are.
So…Who do you think you are? That’s one of the most important questions you can ask yourself because who you think you are will dictate every single action you take, consciously or unconsciously.
If you think you’re someone that doesn’t like to work out, you won’t work out and if you do, you’ll hate it. If you think you’re someone that isn’t good at business, you will take actions like someone who isn’t good at business, if you think you can’t cook, you will hate cooking. If you really think about who you think you are..you’ll be able to see why you do the things you do.
My challenge to you is this
The next time you get to a fork in your path, there will be the path that is well worn, comfortable and familiar and then there will be the one that calls you. Take that one. There’s a reason it’s showing up. It might be as simple as a different route for your run, a new book that keeps showing up, a job that is out of your comfort zone but excites you. At least explore the idea, give it a chance. And it doesn’t mean your path won’t circle back to your original path where you’re comfortable and where you’re friends are, it probably will but think of the new experiences and the new things you’ve added to your talent stack because you answered that calling. Think of the things you bring to the table that are interesting because of your new experience. It doesn’t take anything away from someone else for you to do something you really want to do, in fact, more than likely it will make the relationship better. If you’re asking right now if this is a message to you about that thing…it is. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days!
