Hi guys! Welcome to episode 225 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! What a title right?
Why am I not happy? The million dollar question, right?
How many of you listening have ever reached an accomplishment in life that you worked for and yearned for and thought if I do that I’ll be happy. I’ll be complete. Only to get there and think is this all there is? And you find that well, now you want something more.
Maybe you reached your goal weight but now you notice other things you want to change, maybe you found your life partner but you still long for fulfillment in a way.
It leads you to the question…why am I not happy? Why can’t I just be happy where I am?
You aren’t alone and you aren’t. Abnormal. That’s called being human! By design we are made to create and want more. We are made to continue growing.
Once I realized I was good at interior design and I had been working for a while I found a certain level of success, I realized I wanted more so I did a few home shows and thought if I could only win best design I’ll be happy, I will feel accomplished, I did win and that lasted for a minute but then I had a desire for more, if only I could be published that will do it, that will be the ultimate success. That will be the culmination. So I did, I was published in a few magazines on the cover of one and that feeling of accomplishment only lasted a few weeks so then I thought I know, I need a degree in design to really have credibility and reach that ultimate success goal. So I got a 4 year degree at the age of 36. And I’m glad I did that and it’s been valuable and I am proud that I stuck with it. But again after walking across the stage to get my diploma within a few months, I was back to wanting more and figuring out what was next.
I realized that no matter how many achievements I accomplished, I would still desire more. Was I never going to just be happy?
And then I thought…wait a minute. What if I’m looking at it wrong? I started thinking about the journey to winning my first home show and how my friend and I literally dug furniture out of attics and out of our own houses and off the clearance rack to make this design show house look a certain way and we were up against a big budget and our budget was almost zero. And we ran into problems and there were things we didn’t think were perfect, But we got creative and we had so much fun and we worked hard and it was FULFILLING. And then we won and yes we were happy and we were super excited and we got our trophy but after a few weeks I was left with that feeling of what’s next? And then I thought about the years I spent in college as an adult and how that in itself was a little challenging but how creative we had to be for all of our projects and how hard it was and how much I had to stretch myself to get that design degree. I got my degree from the University of Memphis Architecture department where design students worked alongside architect students for the first two years. We had to build those little balsa wood models and we had to learn to write a certain way and learn new design software, it was new and hard and it was FULFILLING. And then I got my degree and yeah it was great but it wasn’t anything compared to the journey leading up to it, that was way more fulfilling.
My mom used to tell me “I never let the grass grow under my feet” at the time, she did not necessarily mean that in a good way, I just always liked to be doing something. She was right and that hasn’t changed, and I’m glad
If a dream calls me I answer it. I’m not sure I know another way.
I realized that the accomplishment of that goal and then the realization that I was always going to have a new goal in mind didn’t mean I wasn’t happy, it just meant that there was a completion and a new beginning at the same time.
So often we think that this new goal is the end all be all. I’ll be satisfied When I complete it and you will be but for a brief moment and then that new desire sets in and we start again.
So when you’re driven in life like we are and I feel like we are the same because you’re listening to the wildly successful lifestyle podcast so you’re driven when you’re driven understand that the completion of each accomplishment is a natural end of one part of your life and the beginning of the next. And because you had that goal in mind and you went for it, if you look back you had this awesome wild journey that was fun and exciting and scary and dreadful all at the same time and every time you answer that call to that new desire or goal there is going to be that struggle and striving but there is also going to be that invigoration of nerves and excitement because you’re doing something new. And that all put together has created the you that is today.
There are moments of joy and moments of struggle down every path.
Where are you on your journey right now? Have you accomplished something that you thought would be everything and now you’re wanting more? Or maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be. I can say this if you’re listening to this podcast you’re headed in the right direction because you’re opening your mind up to the possibility that there’s something more and I promise you there is and if you answer that calling it will be fun and hard and scary and exciting and you just have to be willing to go. If you have a calling and you don’t answer it, it will haunt you. It can be cause for resentment and pain because we are meant to follow our dreams, and if we do that, the journey will take us exactly where we are supposed to be. I’ve talked about this before where a friend of mine said “Heidi, you shouldn’t tell someone they can have whatever they want if they set their mind to it” and I said if someone wants to be a star football player but they just aren’t big enough but they go after their dream anyway, they are going to end up finding their very own version of that dream, it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Maybe they end up the coach, maybe they end up owning the team, maybe they end up a sportscaster and the journey that got them there was super fulfilling because they gave it their all. You know the saying ‘‘Shoot for the moon, if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars’’. That goes for everything.
So maybe it’s not that you’re not happy. Nobody is always happy. Maybe you’re happy and then you want more which causes you to struggle, which causes you to grow which makes you happy and then you want more again…you see the pattern…this is the natural progression of a driven life. Answering that calling is just one piece of the puzzle.
Being driven to succeed and then succeeding is not what ultimately makes you happy. Some of the most successful people we know are NOT happy and some of the people that have the least are the happiest. It’s about finding the joy in the process, it’s celebrating your wins and getting back up after your losses. It’s the fulfillment in life and that fulfillment looks different for each one of us.
Tony Robbins has been teaching this for years he says there’s the science of achievement which is being able to have a vision and reach it. For your life, your career, your body. He says success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. Fulfillment is an art because it’s different for everybody. So don’t base your happiness on achievement, base it on fulfillment.
Every time you accomplish something remember…yes it is a completion and celebrate that but it’s also a new beginning because you’re never going to be finished and that is a beautiful part of life.
I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
