Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 429 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast! Im glad you’re here. I hope you keep hanging with me by following the show or subscribing so that we can hang out every week, twice just like this….under 15 minutes of figuring out ways we can be our best version, which almost 100% of the time starts in our head…..with our thoughts and our ability to be aware of them…and that’s what I’m always working on for us…..Now a lot of times I find that music can really make me feel a certain way……
Sometimes I hear music and I just love the beat or the way the notes make me feel and then sometimes I really hear the words and it makes it even better because I connect to what they are saying in my own way. Isn’t that the interesting part of life? That we each hear music and interpret it in a completely different way. One song can have 8 billion interpretations, literally because there are 8 billion people in the world. I love knowing that. And no one interpretation is wrong. It’s all in what it means to you. That’s what makes music so powerful. It evokes feelings and meaning unique to each of us depending on what is going on in our life.
So recently I really listened to a song Miley Cyrus has out called “Flowers”. In the song she says I can love myself better than you can…I can buy myself flowers, I can hold my own hand…..I saw a video of her singing it and she gave such a powerful, convincing version of it that it helped me see what I thought she was saying. Of course I have no idea what the song really means to her but for me it gave me a feeling of empowerment.
Empowerment to not have to rely on any one person or thing for my happiness. The power of knowing I am responsible for me and no-one can love me better than I can. How does that make you feel hearing that?
Theres so many ways you can take it, one may say well she must be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat her well and she’s reminding herself that she can treat herself well. She can love herself. She can buy her own flowers if he’s not gonna do it.
But in my mind it’s not about as opposed to someone else, when she sings I can love myself better than you can, in my mind it’s exactly what we each were born to do. Of course we can love ourself better than anyone else because we don’t have to guess at how to do it. We innately know what is going to make us happy, what brings us joy, what makes us feel good. It’s just that sometimes we get a bit sidetracked as we are shaped by our environment.
So someone tells you you aren’t pretty and you never forget it, someone tells you you will never amount to anything and you believe it. Or, You were born into a family that is used to only surviving, so you aren’t aware that you were born to thrive. If you think about it, We were all born into an environment that says to put yourself first is kind of selfish. You’re wrong If you love yourself too much.
Society has a tendency to have a herd mentality and if you don’t follow the herd, you’re viewed as odd or weird or selfish or whatever the buzz of the week is.
So if someone is at the gym too much, they’re probably self absorbed and if they don’t go at all they’re unhealthy or if someone doesn’t work as much as we do, they’re probably lazy. If someone doesn’t go to church they’re lost, if someone doesn’t do the thing that society says they should or they do the thing society says they shouldn’t, well they’re bad.
But just like a song could possibly have 8 billion interpretations, there’s also 8 billion different theories on how one should live life in order to be happy and fulfilled.
I can’t possibly know the best way for you to live, only you can know that. So why then do we judge ourselves based on what everyone else thinks? Why do we try to morph ourselves into something we aren’t? Why do we try to please everyone first and put ourself last?
It’s because we have a deep, deep need to belong. And no matter how hard you try to isolate yourself and say you’re a loner or you don’t like people or you’d rather just be with your dog….we still want to belong , we want to feel a part of something. Of course we do, we were designed with a need to connect. The reason why we are getting further and further away from connecting with other people is because we feel less and less worthy to do so.
Now the reason I think that is, is we spend so much of our time now viewing other peoples lives through the lens of Facebook or instagram and creating a version of that person in our head rather than actually knowing them for real. So that skinny girl we compare ourself to probably never binges on sweets like we do or I don’t want to be around that couple that looks like they have it all together because my life doesn’t look like theirs. Or I’m embarrassed because my kids are not as well behaved as their kids…….to the point where we just kind of compare ourselves into isolation….of course it’s more comfortable to just be with the dog, they expect nothing but treats and snuggles.
That’s why that song by Miley Cyrus spoke to me…it’s because being truly able to love yourself means you aren’t gonna compare yourself to someone else, it means knowing your worth and loving yourself wholly without the need of someone else to change in order to feel that way. When you truly love yourself…connecting with others becomes natural and fun rather than stressful and tedious. When you love yourself, you attract others to you that love themselves too. And that’s a really fun relationship. It’s actually kind of like your dog because someone who loves themselves isn’t expecting you to change to make them feel better…. They would never ask you to be something you’re not and it’s really comfortable to be with them….but the thing that makes it different from just chilling with your dog is as humans, different from dogs, we value and crave continuous growth….and when you connect with another human, especially in person, that loves themselves and also loves continuous growth, they encourage you to grow too and now that’s really fun and really fulfilling. Two people interacting that are both working to be the best version of themselves whether it’s friend or your partner or your family member, isn’t that just the best?
It’s the best and it’s also a part that makes the human experience so incredibly fulfilling. So yes, we need our dogs and that time with them is invaluable, you can’t put a price on it, but human connection is just as important because that’s where are continuous growth comes in and we gotta have that……..
You CAN love yourself better than anyone else can, and you should. You CAN buy your own flowers, and you should. But don’t underestimate the power of connection from human to human interaction especially when that interaction comes with you becoming a better version of you.. when it comes with continuous growth….and sometimes that does mean a walk alone in the park with your dog
My challenge to you this week is to remember your precious puppy may be your comfort zone, and it’s a part of our life we need but so is continuous growth and that comes from connecting with people who challenge you to be the best version of you….we weren’t designed for isolation so get out there and meet a friend for coffee or take a new class, or interact with the person next to you on the treadmill. They want connection too…Share this with 3 of your favorite human beings, I love you. I’ll talk to you in a few days!
