Hi guys! Welcome to episode 193 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast
So this episode is coming out at a time where Most of us have a little extra time to spend with friends or family or both.
For some that’s a good thing, for others maybe not so much.
But I want to say this because the holiday season can be hard because we have been given this idea that it’s for big, always happy families. Well maybe your family is unconventional. Maybe your friends are your family. I’ve talked to so many people this year that their holidays are spent with people they choose and how wonderful is that? Maybe your holiday will look a little different because some of your family are still afraid. I don’t choose to live that way but a lot in my family do. And I don’t control that so I have to just find a way to be ok with it. Whatever you have this year, that’s yours. Don’t let what other people do take away from what you have. That’s one of the secrets of happiness. You are in complete control of your happiness.
And you aren’t going to be happy all the time so it’s a good start to recognize that and be ok with it. Just know that happiness is right around the corner, but you gotta look for it. Look for things to be happy about. Focus on things that encourage you towards happiness. And you know what those are and you know what they aren’t. You know in your gut when something is good for you and when it’s not. If you’re with family and a topic comes up that you know is toxic for you either change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation. Your drama loving brain may want to partake but you know that is not going to go well….so be prepared to laugh it off and ask Aunt Linda about her garden….switch the topic. You’ll be glad you did and so will they ultimately. Family events don’t have to end in you feeling bad. Plan for it to go well and it will because you get to decide what you’ll allow and you won’t allow. Ok on the topic of family….I want you to try something and obviously if you’re driving maybe modify it a bit but wherever you are….try this.
Close your eyes just briefly, close them just for a couple seconds (if you’re driving then keep them open, it will still work…) I want you to think about someone you love. Someone that you really care about and want to see happy and thriving. Maybe send them a little love right now.
Ok now open your eyes. Some of you thought about a child, a friend, your partner, maybe your dog…Now, how many of you thought about yourself? I would imagine the answer is close to zero…
Isn’t that interesting?
Don’t worry. It isn’t uncommon and you’re certainly not alone. Most of the time for most of us we aren’t the first person to come to mind when asked that question.
I would like to challenge why though. Why is it weird to look in the mirror and say “I love you” out loud. Think about it. It feels a little weird doesn’t it?
Give it a try. For the sake of being transparent and to also give you a little laugh…When I was talking to my little sister Molly about this episode, she all of a sudden busted out with “I love you, Molly” (talking about herself) and we both laughed for about 3 minutes out loud, because it sounded so funny. So maybe it won’t ever sound normal to say it out loud, I don’t know but can we say it in the mirror in the morning and really try to mean it? You know when you first wake up and you have bed head and you haven’t washed your face….for me that’s the time I have to make an effort to be kind to myself because
So many times when we look in the mirror, the last thing we think is “I love you”. We can be pretty hard on ourselves.
I had an epiphany this year because I really had in my mind a certain size I wanted to be. When I get to that size I’ll be happy. I will love my body then. So I focused and I got my nutrition just right for the most part and I got to that elusive size. So that’s it right? But then I realized well wait what I really want is to be that size AND also be toned and have muscle so it starts all over. I moved the goal posts on myself. Instead of congratulating and celebrating I just moved the goalposts. And as I think about it I wonder why. Why do we do that? Why are we constantly moving the goalposts on ourselves? Is anything ever good enough?
Someone said that to me once. Nothing is ever good enough for you and you know what? To someone else it may look that way but to me it feels natural to enjoy the journey and once I reach a certain goal. Move on to the next. We have one life. I went to see Jason Miraz and he had a song that said this ticket is good for one ride…and that’s life.
Continuous growth is important to me. I want to be a better version of me every day. I don’t want to fall into the mediocrity of insidiously gaining 10 lbs a year, so that I wake up at 50 and my body aches just from sitting. That’s possible, you know.
And then let’s say we make a mistake or maybe we say or do something we think we think we shouldn’t have done. Are we kind or do we tend to beat ourselves up?
If my baby sister came to me and told me she had done something she wasn’t proud of, more than likely depending on what it is of course I would be kind and loving and tell her to go easy on herself she’s human. I would show her compassion because that’s what we do when we love someone. But sometimes we skip that compassion when it comes to yourself.
I have two challenges for you this weekend: number one is to get comfortable saying I love you in the mirror and really mean it. It will feel weird at first but it will get easier and my second challenge is to consider whenever you have a thought about yourself. Think of that person or animal that came to mind earlier and imagine saying that to them.
You’re just as worthy as that person of your own love and compassion.
Share this with one person who needs to hear it…I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days!
