Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 457 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle Podcast! You’re gonna like this episode I think, it’s nostalgic but also helps us remember how innately smart we are as children. I’m just so grateful that you’re here and we get to be together twice a week even if it’s just for 10 minutes. We make the whole world a better place by making ourselves the best version of us that’s possible. Sometimes people shy away from podcasts because they are so long, that’s why it’s so good to share episodes with the ones you love and want to see happy. Our happiness starts and ends right inside our own head. The circumstances of our life will always be a roller coaster, no getting around it, but peace can always be found inside our mind. It is always available, we just have to be able to access it and that’s what I try to do with this podcast twice a week, 10 minutes at a time…help us access the peace that brings calm to the chaos. Everyone needs that and you never know what someone else is going through so be sure to share this if it’s in your heart to do so.
Ok, When you were a kid did you ever have your sister or your brother or maybe a best friend say something mean to you and instead of taking it to heart you said “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”. And with that whatever name they called you or whatever mean thing they said that you didn’t like, you were letting them know that it wasn’t affecting you, in fact it bounced off them and was stuck to them now like glue. It was very effective, if you remember. They would get so mad and often say “No, I’m Rubber! Or some silly comeback like that. But they knew you had already won the day because their mean words weren’t going to affect you because you wouldn’t allow it, in fact they only now affecting them even more because now it was stuck to them like glue! But have you ever really given that little saying some thought as an adult? I mean we were pretty ahead of our time by using that. We were letting someone else know that their words can’t affect us at all, in fact their words affect them way worse because now they’re stuck with them. Really genius. When did we stop that?
It seems as adults we just take everything someone else says and we marinate in it. Don’t we? It’s harder to let things just bounce off, isn’t it? We allow things other people say even if they’re not directed at us..we allow them to get us all twisted up.
For example. I like politics. I’ve talked about it before. It interests me. I’m not sure if it’s the drama or what but I really am careful how often and what I allow in. But if I had to confess a vice. It would be politics. So I heard something the other day from someone I don’t feel is honest or has integrity. He’s a politician. As I listened to what he was saying I could feel myself getting upset because I disagreed with him deeply. I was a little surprised at how I felt about it. And then I realized that I was allowing the opinion of one person who I don’t know personally and it makes no difference in my life at all what he says, I was allowing his words to affect my day. I’ve been really trying to rise above that. This is why having politics as a vice isn’t a great idea. Anyway, fortunately I recognized what I was doing and I turned the video off, not even finishing it. It bothered me that it bothered me.
But it made me remember a story I recently read in Wayne Dyer’s book “Spiritual Solution” it was a story concerning Buddha who is in the company of a fellow traveler who tests this great teacher with insulting. Disparaging, bitter responses to anything Buddha says. Every day for three days when the Buddha spoke, the traveler responded by calling him a fool and ridiculing him in some arrogant fashion. Finally at the end of the third day, the traveler could no longer stand it. He asked “how is it that you are able to be so loving and kind when all I’ve done for the past three days is dishonor and offend you? Each time I am disobliging to you, you respond in a loving manner, how is this possible?” The Buddha responded with a question of his own for the traveler. “If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept this gift, to whom does the gift belong?” This question provides the traveler with a new insight. Wayne Dyer goes on to say “When someone offers you a gift of their insults, and you refuse to accept them, they obviously still belong to the original giver. Why would you choose to be angry over something that belonged to someone else?”
This had a profound affect on me when I read it. I took a screenshot and highlighted it and read it several more times so that it really sunk in. I don’t have to accept the opinions of others, as I grow and mature, I realize that someone else’s opinion of me has more to do with them and their world view than it does with me. Really think about that because it applies to all of us in both directions. When you judge someone, it’s because of your world view not theirs and vice versa. It’s often said that the thing you despise in someone else is often the thing you struggle with personally or maybe even the thing you don’t like about yourself. I try to do this though, when someone rubs me the wrong way I wonder “is this something I don’t like about myself and so it bothers me about them too?” Or I ask myself “why is this bothering me so much?” Usually I find that I feel like it attacks some idea I have but if I’m confident in my idea why would someone challenging that idea be a problem? It shouldn’t, right? You see, Each thought we have about what someone else is doing or saying is more about us and less about the other person. Our thoughts about other people come from our world view. If you were raised with no money and you are around someone who was raised with money, you have thoughts about that person, like maybe “their life has been so easy” “they haven’t had to work for what they have” whereas if you had been raised with money too your thoughts about that person would be VERY different. The way we were raised, the community we grew up in, the experiences we have had that all forms our thoughts. Now of course that can change once we become intentional about our thoughts, but that’s always a work in progress. So normally, If we see someone that’s just like us we generally kind of like them and want to be around them, but if we see someone who is very different, we may take a step back. Ask yourself though, does that have anything to do with the other person, or is it all in YOUR head? My point here is the things other people say or do pertaining to you has nothing to do with you, it’s all about their world view. so why would you take it personally?
Funny story, as a side note…I was talking to my friend Leena about this episode when it was in it’s hatching stage and I asked her if she ever used to say “I’m teflon, you’re glue, it bounces off me and sticks to you” She said yes, but they used to say rubber instead of teflon. I laughed and said oh yeah I think that’s actually what it’s supposed to be but I woke up at 4 one morning with the thought for this episode but for some reason I remembered that little saying as teflon instead of rubber. I wonder if in a round about way my inner guidance system was reminding me that we all really are very strong and when we remember that we are strong…we don’t allow the things that other people say or do to seep in and mean something about us.
So just because someone tells us we are selfish or not that smart or we’ve changed or we’re no fun or whatever other people have to say about us, it doesn’t make it true unless we accept it. Those are gifts we do not have to accept, the adult me encourages you to envision those words from that person wrapped in a package being offered to you and you politely refusing to accept it. The inner child in me wants you to tell them “I’m teflon, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” whatever works for you and your peace of mind. Whatever brings peace to the chaos of life for you. That’s what I want. Peace is always present regardless of what’s happening it’s only a thought away…so keep listening and keep sharing.
My challenge to you this week is if someone says something or does something that challenges your peace, before you take offense decide if it’s something worth accepting or if it’s something that you gracefully decline. When someone offers you a gift, it’s still theirs unless you accept it. Share this with 3 people who are a gift in your life. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
