Hi guys! Welcome to episode 199 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! It’s crazy to me that I am almost to episode 200, and that episode 200 will be the last episode of 2021 And the even crazier thing is that the first episode of the new year is 201. I love new beginnings! There’s something exhilarating about them.
We have had a busy year, I think most of us have. For some, the thought of even considering self care is laughable. I get it.
Self care is kind of a buzzword. And we use it very loosely. Some of us intentionally practice self care every day, honestly, I believe it’s something we all can do daily. I hear people all the time saying they don’t have time for self care. By the end of this episode, I’m going to change your mind about that, I hope…
I think as a society, there’s this image people have when they think of self care. Usually the image is someone doing yoga on a mountain with the sun rising or having a spa day. Or maybe you have this idea that it’s just high maintenance people that practice self care. These images and ideas can cause you to think self care is unattainable or it’s only something people that have extra time on their hands can do. Your thoughts may be “must be nice, but I have kids, I have work, I have a life, I don’t have time for self care…Of course if you think of self care as an absolute that you need to be on a mountain to do it or in a gym or
I’m really curious if I was standing in front of you and I asked you what self care means to you, what would you say?
From your perspective, what does someone that practices self care do?
Do you practice self care daily?
Or
Do you see self care as a treat? It’s something you do when you get your birthday gift certificate to Gould’s day spa?
What exactly is self care anyway? I looked up the definition. Shocker, I know…but The common definition is basically the practice of activities that are necessary to sustain life and health carried out by an individual for him or herself.
I like that it leaves it open for interpretation. Because self care is going to look different at different times in your life. So you don’t need to beat yourself up if you aren’t running 5 miles every day like you used to or meditating for 25 minutes a day.
A daughter of a dear friend asked me a question at a dinner party the other night…she said “I have two kids, One is two, one is a newborn and I work. How am I supposed to find time to exercise?” I had to think about that because she made a good point. My brain mentally went through her day and how she can fit it all in. She said she already gets up at 5 to get everything done as it is. But later as I thought about her question I realized. We are both coming at it from the idea that exercise has to be a certain way. 45 min-1 hour at the gym or running outside 3-5 miles. That’s not gonna work for her right now. She used to run just about every day when she was in law school and now she says that’s not possible. So my question is..what IS possible? Maybe for the first few weeks after giving birth, the only exercise or self care that’s possible is making sure she’s eating nutrition that sustains her and her new baby. If you make self care mean you must exercise 45 min or run 5 miles or meditate 25 minutes, you could spend your life beating yourself up because that’s not always gonna be possible.
I was listening to a meditation this last week on the calm app and Jeff was talking about self care.
I love this topic so this meditation resonated with me. I am a big believer that your body and your mind should be first on your list of things you need to take care of.
And I know. I don’t have kids so some of you are going to say “that’s easy for you to say”. And I do have more time because I don’t have kids. I’ll admit that. And I have a lot of respect for parents because it looks like a hard job. But daily self care IS possible as long as it’s fluid.
Daily self care IS possible as long as you aren’t super rigid with what it means. And I have had to work on that because I used to think if I didn’t eat healthy every day, or meditate for at least 10 minutes, work out at least 45 min then it didn’t count but now Eric and I will sneak a 20 minute workout in when we are busy and high 5 ourselves for the consistency and the compound interest. I will meditate for 5 minutes and feel amazing, I’m learning to not be so rigid with my meaning of it.
And I believe a lot of it is planning. Being intentional about self care. I’ve been meditating and journaling pretty much every day now for 3 years so we can agree I have a habit of it, right? but I still schedule it on my day planner every day and mark it off when I’m finished.
We make time for the things and people that are the most important to us. We need to start including ourselves on that list of people that are important. I make the case that you should be first on that list and I’ll argue that with anyone because how can I show up as a good wife if I don’t love myself? How can someone show up as a good mom if they don’t first care for them self? You make a better everything when you take care of yourself. And taking care of yourself looks different to different people. Now, I’m not one of those healthy people at every size because I simply don’t believe that to be true. You’re worthy at any size, that I do believe.
The way you feel about yourself inside is on display for the world to see in the form of how you carry yourself, how you present yourself, how you treat yourself.
If you’re a mom, what better way to set an example for your children than to show them what it means to practice self care? What better way to show them how worthy they are of self care than to practice it yourself?
And remember worthy is your base line. You were born worthy, I talk about that a lot. No one can take that from you. And part of feeling worthy is practicing self care in whatever form that takes. You’re not always going to feel motivated, eager and passionate, Abraham talks about these being temporary emotions and I agree. I wish I could feel eager and passionate and excited every day but that just isn’t reality. No matter what’s going on externally you’re worthy simply because you were born.
You’re worthy of self care before anything else and that self care may look different day to day. Sometimes it might just look like having a super nutritious salad, a 5 minute meditation, or a 15 minute walk around the block.
So I set my day planner up like this: You can find what works for you. I schedule my self care, for me that includes working out, meditation and journaling. I plan my week out with those scheduled on my day planner. Meditation and journaling are every day, exercise 5-6 times a week is what I shoot for. My nutrition is automatic at this point. There are just certain things I eat and don’t eat…now if I start slipping on that, I will add that back into my daily planner but for now it’s pretty solid. I’m not rigid on the work out or the amount of time I spend meditating or journaling. Those things are very fluid for me.
My challenge to you this week is to first of all get an idea of what your brain is telling you self care is. Sometimes we make things so complicated to the point where we don’t do anything. Second though, decide that you CAN have a daily self care practice and it doesn’t HAVE to be a certain thing, you could just write self care on your planner or in your digital planner and let your mind figure out what that’s going to look like today. It’s all about your mindset. My sweet friend asked how am I supposed to exercise with a newborn? Your mind is constantly working to answer the questions you ask, so maybe frame the question in a little better way…Tony Robbins says “ask better questions, get better answers”
So perhaps ask yourself this question if you think you don’t have
What self care CAN I do today?
Maybe it’s as simple as thinking about 3 things you’re grateful for. That could be all the self care you can muster up for the day, maybe it’s 10 push ups, and a 5 minute meditation, on another day it could be a 5 mile run, 10 min meditation, 15 minute gratitude journal topped off with eating healthy all day. In the financial world, It’s the compound interest that ultimately makes you wealthy, in the self care world it’s the compound interest that ultimately makes you healthy. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days!
