Hi guys! Well we made it to episode 300 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast. Here’s to another 300. And here’s to you for hanging with me and growing with me and doing your best to show up as the most Wildly successful version of you that’s possible.
In episode 299 I talked about 2 things we all have in common, the first is you take you with you, and the second is everything around you is in constant change.
It can be unsettling to think about, but it’s a truth we need to come to terms with. I was in the gym on the treadmill this week because it has rained 7 days straight. So I’m on the treadmill and Im looking around at the people and I realize that so many people that I used to love to see at the gym no longer work out here. There are a handful of employees that are the same, but the trainers are in a constant fluctuation. We have to become accustom to change because it is the only constant in our life besides ourself.
And When things are in constant change it would really really help if you could rely on yourself to be solid. To be trustworthy. To be stable. To be mindful. To be healthy.
How many of us know someone or maybe you’re that someone..that blames other people for all of their problems. So and so made me lose my temper. My mother has me so stressed. My husband always brings home treats so I will never lose weight. The kids take up all my time so I can’t go to the gym. Ive got news for you and for me too. As long as you don’t have control of your temper, there will be someone that will set it off. As long as you don’t have control of your eating, there will be food available to overeat, as long as you don’t make working out a priority, there will be something that can get in the way.
I work on this every single day. I try to take responsibility for every single outcome I have anymore. You know why? Because it is my responsibility.
Im the only constant in my life and everything around me is changing. That means the only thing I can rely on 100% is myself. Me being stable and reliable to myself is a must and that cannot fluctuate with what’s going on around me because if I wake up and say I hope I work out today, I hope nothing gets in the way of that, odds are that you won’t. If you say “I hope I don’t lose my temper today”, odds are you will. If you HOPE you eat healthy today, of course the odds are you wont. The definition of hope is the “desire for a certain thing to happen”. Having A desire means a strong feeling of wishing for something to happen. Wishing means to want something that cannot or probably will not happen. There it is. If you dig hard enough, you’ll always come to the crux of the issue. When you hope for something to happen. It probably will not. We have to be more reliable to ourselves than we are being.
Every single one of us. We are all navigating this new way of being in the world. 24 hour made to make us anxious news, so left alone our brain will have us hiding in the house afraid of our neighbors, food literally staring us in the face 24/7, so left without direction our brain will tell us we are always hungry. Doctors telling us the answer to everything is medication, it’s not your fault just take this and you’ll be better. You see we used to think the news keeps us informed, but now it just keeps us angry and terrified so they can make money. We used to think the government was looking out for us with the food pyramid, now we see if we eat that way, we are going to be sick and overweight. We used to think Doctors looked out for us, but now they really do seem to just be pushers of medication that keeps us dependent and makes us sicker. I have a friend who is healthy went to a cardiologist who literally said “changing your diet won’t help, you have to stop lifting weights and take this medication for the rest of your life.” True story.
We have to be better and we can’t look outside of us to do that. I have to be able to rely on me and you have to be able to rely on you. When they say no-one is coming to save you, it’s true. And you wouldn’t want them to anyway because now you’re on the agenda they want for you instead of the one you innately know is right for you. You have to save yourself, in this country, meaning America where 70% of people are overweight or obese, you have to save yourself.In this country where mediocrity is embraced every time we turn around. You have to save yourself, it’s your responsibility and only yours to make sure you are healthy mentally and physically.
We want to blame someone else for us not being able to be our best self. My husband keeps bringing home treats, I have so much to do the gym got put off AGAIN and my friends all drink, so I can’t stop.
Here’s the thing. It has everything to do with me and nothing to do with anyone else. Ouch right? But when you know that…you control it. If you don’t set standards for yourself, then of course anything goes. Of course you’re going to eat and drink whatever you want on a Tuesday why not? If you don’t set standards for yourself and learn to trust yourself, you will be at the whim of every single temptation that comes along. And you already have standards, that you keep really well, you just don’t think about them. I’ll give you an example…if you’re not a smoker and I hope that you’re not, but if you don’t smoke and you are around someone that does and they offer you a cigarette, you say “I don’t smoke” and it’s really easy to say that and not ruminate about it. Because you don’t smoke. That’s a standard.
We live in a society of anything goes and if we want it we should have it and we don’t ever want to feel deprived or like we are saying no to ourselves if we want something. It’s the difference between instant and delayed gratification. I’m here to say. It’s ok to want something and not have it. It’s ok to want to do some thing and not do it because you know you’ll be better off by not doing it. The opposite is also true. If you don’t want to do something and doing it would make your life better it’s OK to not want to do some thing and do it anyway, like going to the gym. if it makes your life better and you know it will, do it anyway, It happens to me all the time I was talking to Kevin my trainer the other day and he was like how are you doing today and I said I don’t wanna be here and he said welcome to the club so basically we’re both there we didn’t want to be but now that we’re there and every single time and 100% of the time that I have been to the gym when I didn’t want to. I’ve been so glad that I did and look it’s pretty much is every single time I don’t want to go to the gym, Kevin calls that discipline. It has to be discipline. Doing the hard things when you don’t feel like it and doing them over and over until it’s such a habit that you want to stay in bed but you know without a doubt you’re still gonna go to the gym because that’s who you ARE. You can do that. And you’re still not gonna feel like going, but you’ll go, I assure you of that. Remember, It’s ok to not feel like going and still go. Just like it’s ok to want something and not have it. Recently we got a box of like 30 cookies on our front doorstep. At first I was like what in the world? WHY???? So I bring them in the house, it’s a Tuesday afternoon, right about the time around 3:30 when I want a treat, and there it is. So I eat one. And it was so good. I wanted another one, but I was like no way not right now. And right then I knew that if I didn’t set the standard for myself right then, I would eventually eat them all at some point. So I promised myself, that I would allow myself one more and that would be it. And let me tell you, those cookies are still in this house and I haven’t eaten another one since those 2 I had because Ive learned to trust myself. Ive learned that when I promise myself something, I keep that promise. So I don’t make a promise to myself lightly. Because I want to trust myself. In an ever changing world, you have to be the stable constant.
Im responsible for me and you are responsible for you. That includes our happiness, our mental health and our physical health. All of that lives and dies with each one of us. It no longer works to rely on or blame other people, they come with their own agenda or they change. That’s why the buck has to stop with me and the buck has to stop with you. You can’t hope you have to decide.
My challenge to you today is in this ever changing world do more than HOPE, do more than wishing. Actually Decide what standards you are going to have for yourself in 2 areas, only 2 areas. Your mental health and your physical health. Be the stability you are looking for. Be the calm in the storm. Be the person you decide you can be, no-one else is coming to do that for you. The buck stops here. I love you guys. Ill talk to you in a few days.
