Hi guys! Welcome to the 88th episode of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Thank you for hanging with me today! I love connecting with you in this way…..This will be a great podcast to share and also if you haven’t already, subscribe and if you love it give me a 5 star rating!
So when I was young the religion that I was brought up in taught us that anyone that was not part of that religion was not happy, in fact that their life was miserable. We did not have a lot of interaction with those that weren’t part of our religion but when I did at school, that didn’t ring true to me. As I got older I realized it wasn’t true at all. I didn’t have a different point of reference growing up so I just assumed it had to be true even though it didn’t feel right.
Let me ask you a question……
Are you comfortable hearing the other side of the story? Are you comfortable listening to someone you disagree with? Are you comfortable trying new things? Do you notice the older you get, the less tolerant you are to others, the less adventurous you are?
Do you hang only with people that agree with and think like you?
Do you watch only the news that tells you what you want to hear?
Is your social media filled with people that all feel the same as you?
A while back….Mine started to look a lot like that. I started wondering in advance if a person would feel the same way as I do or if they are on “the other team”.
How in the world did that happen? I am pretty open about the fact that I love people. I can stand in a room and find something I love about anyone in that room. Then all of a sudden I started wondering if that person believed this or that…or would that person dislike me because I look different from them? These were things that were actually going through my brain. This is not normal for me. I had allowed myself to fall into the trap of social media and bias.
I sometimes would justify it by saying, I don’t want to dislike that person because of the way they believe so I will unfriend them or unfollow them. When did that become OK????? Why was I afraid of someone that had a different idea of the world? Why does it even matter?
This is not a problem with the other person. This is a problem with me. We watched a documentary called “The Social Dilemma”. IF you want to freak yourself out, watch that documentary. It’s a big problem and more than likely you’re dealing with it too. So if everyone is having this problem how in the world do we fix a problem that big? One person at a time if you ask me. And it starts with each one of us. I believe strongly in personal responsibility. I am a product of my choices and only my choices and if you are older than say 18 you are as well. We can only blame our parents for so long. That may seem harsh but it’s true.
If every single person listening decided right now that they were not going to be on autopilot and let the latest news, social media or drama dictate their thoughts….we could be well on the way to making a change in how we think. So many times we are letting the things we read, watch or hear dictate how we feel and what we believe to be true. And we are kind of getting intolerant to hearing the other side of the story, because the algorithm feeds us what we want to hear to the point that we think that is the only truth. This can be on any topic. We have to be so careful what we feed our brain. The world is changing very quickly and the way we learn and how our young people learn is changing as well. It used to be that children just sort of lived the way their parents lived and their world view didn’t change much from that. But now, with the internet (the worldwide web) the world literally is our oyster. That’s a really good thing, but it can be dangerous as well… We have to be so careful what we feed our mind.
I have said this before even with design. We are motivated by what we see around us, what our friends and family do and how they style their homes and how they dress and have their hair. When I was in Interior design school, we were encouraged to get Interior Design magazine which is mainly commercial design. I noticed my eye started sort of wanting to design things in the style of that magazine…which I liked but didn’t LOVE, so I made sure I balanced it with other styles like Architecture Digest, Veranda, Milieu, and Elle Decor. This allowed me to pick what I liked best and develop my own style without being too pigeon holed into one design style. With the internet now though we have the possibility to do and see anything! We don’t have to be pigeonholed into what we see or hear in our immediate surroundings. Being open to new ideas and new opportunities will help us grow and feel alive. How do we open our minds though? One really really important way is by being still. By not ALWAYS having to be on our phone watching other people live out what we perceive to be a great life.
We have gotten so used to our brain being busy or occupied that we are no longer comfortable with just being still. Sitting quietly without reaching for our phone to fill our brain. Here’s the thing….If our mind is always full there’s no opportunity for it to grow or learn. There’s no opportunity for new ideas. If our mind is constantly being filled with the opinions of others or the latest drama unfolding or the latest series on Netflix how do we even know what we want? How do we make space for new ideas or new thoughts that are our own?
Guys we are NOT our beliefs. We are not our religious, political, Cultural, or social beliefs. We are human beings going through each day trying to do and be the very best we can be. Most of us are …. I like to think that anyway
I was listening to a podcast last week with John Mackey, the CEO of Whole Foods who was saying to look at beliefs like clothes. You put clothes on and that’s not who you ARE, it’s how you are presenting yourself but it is not who you are. If you’re like me, I look back at old pictures and I am appalled at some of the clothing choices I made, but at the time they were probably stylish. MAYBE… That’s kind of how our beliefs are. More than likely, You aren’t the same person you were 5years ago and more than likely due to life experience your beliefs are probably not the same either. And you know what? That means you’re growing. This is a good thing.
I’ve started asking people on my Wednesday Wisdom what truly makes them happy and so far no-one has said money, new cars, big homes. It’s usually something about relationships or purpose. Are you building that aspect of your life? If you aren’t really truly happy, are you living your purpose? Are you nurturing your relationships? Or are you distracting yourself because that feels better than facing a life where you’ve stopped growing?
My challenge to you this week: Watch the “Social Dilemma” Documentary.
But my main challenge is this: Delete your distractions. Just for one week delete the apps you lean into the most when you are needing a distraction. Add in one good habit to fill that extra time you’ll have which allows your mind to be still…..maybe a meditation app like “Calm”. Notice how your thoughts change. Notice your brain will do what it is meant to do, which is to be thoughtful and curious about new things, who knows you may like it so much you never go back. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
