HI guys! Welcome to episode 449 of the wildly successful lifestyle podcast. Thanks for being here. I hope you’re having a good day and if you’re not and if you are as well, I hope you know I’m sending you love.
This week has been a doozy for me and my husband Eric. We have had a little bit of a health scare. It’s nothing we can’t fix but with Eric being a pilot, it’s a big deal. During his routine medical he has to do every six months, the dr found he’s in Afib. Means he has an irregular heartbeat. He’s a very healthy guy. So I know everything will be ok but it’s scary none the less.
We kept it quiet for a few days so we can process it. Those few days we go about our days doing our normal things and nobody but my little sister knows what’s going on. From the outside everything looks fine but inside it’s rough going.
Eric and I were talking yesterday, we’ve had very good friends that are pilots go through the same thing. Eric said you know when it happens to someone else you think “oh no, we’re so sorry.” But when it happens to you it’s like the world stops for a minute. But it doesn’t. That’s the thing. Life Keeps going.
But it really got me thinking. Not that we all don’t already know this but man, you never know what people are going through.
Now sometimes there’s a death and there’s no hiding that. So everyone knows that you’re going through a hard time. There’s no hiding that. But sometimes things happen and nobody knows. And there may be good reason for that. We don’t have to air all our dirty laundry, some things are best handled privately. But those things are hard on people because they’re going through tough stuff….. but life goes on.
When you’re privately handling hard stuff going on, it may seem that no one cares but that isn’t true…they just don’t know.
Every person you meet is dealing with something and you probably have no idea. It may be small, like their car broke down and they’re having to figure out another way or their kid got in a fight at school. A lot of times people deal with those privately and no one knows. But It could also be massive like they just found out someone’s been unfaithful and they’re in crisis mode. They just got a diagnosis that they aren’t telling anyone about but it’s not good. People are walking around every day with things that they’re dealing with that no one knows about. But life keeps moving on and If we’re smart we keep up our good habits…we continue to work out, so we still go to the gym, We continue to eat healthy which means we still have to go to the grocery. Which means we’re gonna run into other people.
I mean, You’re still gonna run into that funny guy in the gym who’s gonna make a silly joke, and you’re not in the mood to laugh but you try. You’re gonna run into that friend who’s going through something too and is telling you their story so you listen best you can, knowing at the moment you don’t have a lot to give, but you try.
You’re gonna get phone calls that you don’t pick up because you just can’t or texts that you forget to text back because you got a call from the dr or you’re having a fight with your husband.
You feel me here? I know we can all relate. Because no one is immune to life. You wouldn’t want to be. These challenges give us opportunities to grow.
But that’s not really the point of this episode. The point I wanted to make is this. That guy, the silly one at the gym..he may have noticed you didn’t really laugh at his joke, your friend the one telling you the drama from last night? They may have noticed you weren’t really listening. The person whose call you missed? Or the person who’s text you didn’t respond too. Those people could be you too. You may be the person who’s talking to the person who’s privately going through something really hard. You may be the one calling with no response or the one texting with no reply. Sometimes you’re the one going through things and sometimes you’re the one on the other end and sometimes you’re both.
So the ultimate point is…never make it about you.
We aren’t going to always know when someone is going through something hard. Some people just aren’t gonna share. They handle things privately.
When we live in our own heads 100% of the time, we miss the clues that other people are struggling and we go right to “so and so didn’t call me back, are they mad at me?” Or we say “she doesn’t care about me because she didn’t text back or the silly guy at the gym could get offended that you didn’t laugh at his joke, the friend that’s going through something felt like you don’t care because you were only half listening. We could all be those people too.
When we get out of our head, we realize that we aren’t the only ones going through something. The person you’re talking to, or texting or calling, they probably are too.
It may be small or it may be big but you may never know so don’t take it personally, it’s not about you. When you’re in your head, it’s always about you. When you become a little more conscious you realize nothings about you and oh and everything’s about you. I hope you get that.
My trainer, Kevin said the other day “you can’t see past your own nose right now” At the time that hurt a little, truth hurts, right? but it was also what I needed to hear. He’s pretty good about that.
When you can’t see past your own nose..you’re only seeing your own problems. You’re living in your head and anything someone else does or says…you make it mean something about you. You are infinitely important and infinitely unimportant all at the same time. It’s not about you. I promise.
And look sometimes you’re gonna be the one going through something that no-one knows about and then sometimes you’re gonna be the one that gets your feelings hurt because you’re phone call isn’t returned or you don’t get a response from your text, or someone was short when you ran into them….when that happens, don’t let the first thought be about you, in fact KNOW it’s not about you and send them love….that’s a nice first step to seeing past your own nose…I’ll be doing this with you…..
My challenge to you this week is to work along with me to see past your own nose. Any time someone acts a little off or fails to text you back or doesn’t answer when you call…don’t take it personally. Send them love because you never know who needs it. You truly never know. Share this with three people who have helped you in the past, I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.
