Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 548 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! I’m happy to be with you. Thank you for always showing up. Life is full of choices and I am honored you’re choosing this podcast to listen to. Be sure to subscribe so you get the little notice when I publish and also share with others, if you’re benefitting they may too! You guys are the best.
OK, Have you ever gotten advice that didn’t sit right with you? Maybe it was unsolicited, or maybe it came from someone whose life doesn’t exactly inspire you. In my opinion WHO you take advice from matters as much as the advice itself!
Because advice can be a game-changer. It helps us grow, avoid mistakes, and move forward faster. But not all advice is create equal. Sometimes you have to filter the noice and focus on the voices that align with the life you want.
I’ve had moments where I questioned advice because it came from someone whose outcomes didn’t match my goals. Like the time I met a nutritionist at my gym who struggled with her own weight. Was this someone I wanted to take nutrition advice from, it made me wonder “who should I be listening to?”
This week, my husband Eric forwarded me an email that really got my attention. It said “Most people are overweight, financially stressed, and single or divorced. So it’s best not to take advice from most people. Harsh? Maybe. But it’s a wakeup call to be intentional about who we let influence us.
Think about it. Would you take financial advice from someone who’ broke? Or health advice from someone who isn’t healthy? Probably not. That email’s point was simple. Match the advice to the outcome. If someone’s life doesn’t reflect what you want, their advice might not be the best guide.
Years ago, as I mentioned earlier when I was looking for nutrition help at my gym. There was a nutritionist who was knowledgeable but really didn’t live what she was trying to teach. I found it hard to trust her advice, not because she wasn’t smart, but because her outcomes didn’t align with what I was aiming for. And Its not about judging people, it’s about choosing advisors whose results match your goals.
The email I referenced earlier went on to tell a story about a client who was leaving a steady job to start a business. His parent was mocking his decision, saying it was risky. But when the client reflected, he realized his parent’s life, full of stress and a lack of fulfillment, was the opposite of what he wanted. That clarity helped him tune out the noise and stay focused. Sometimes the loudest voices come from people whose lives we don’t want. That’s when you have to trust your own vision.
So how do we make sure we’re listening to the right people? How do we filter advice and know who to trust?
For starters. We have to be clear about our goals. I have to know exactly what I want before I know who to ask for advice. Because once you know what you want, now you just have to find the people that already have that and that’s who you ask for advice. So for me, there’s a yoga instructor that she is a little younger than me but she has the physique I would love to have, I have just been waiting for the chance to ask her a few questions about her diet and her workout routine. So clarity about your goal helps you spot the right advisors.
The email continued with Don’t take health advice from obese people, or love advice from someone who’s been divorced 3 times, don’t take financial advice from someone who’s broke. Look at their life. Do they have the results you want? If not, their advice might not be your path.
And look this doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It just means their experience might not match your destination and that’s ok.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten is love your family, choose your peers. Tony Robbins has been saying that for a long time. Whenever possible, surround yourself with people who’ve walked the path you want to take. This could be mentors, friends or even virtual advisors like authors or podcasters. If you’re serious about something, make a list of 3 or so people whose outcomes inspire you. And start learning from them. Reach out to them, you never know they may be happy to answer a few questions! But you can also get advice simply through their content, online conversations or book they’ve written.
And I know you may get that little feeling that some of this sounds judgmental. What about empathy or learning from other peoples mistakes? Fair. We can learn form other’s failures, and empathy does matter. But we are talking about ADVICE. Especially when it’s around big life decisions, outcomes are a better filter than intentions.
But here’s the other thing. The consultant who wrote the email didn’t just say avoid bad advice. He also said to actively SEEK out people with the outcomes you want. Sometimes we hesitate because we don’t want to bother someone or we think we are imposing. But guess what? Most people actually don’t mind giving advice, or at least telling what they did to get where they are. I am actually going to take my own advice here because I have been wanting to talk to that yoga instructor for a while now and keep telling myself she’s always so busy, I’ll try next time. Well next time is never going to happen if I don’t make it so and the same goes for you. We have to actively pursue what we want. That’s our part in this. Tuning out the bad advice but actively seeking the good advice even if it means stepping a little out of our comfort zone to do it.
The next time I see her I promise you guys I’m going to ask her if she has a minute, I’ll let you know how it goes. My challenge to you this week is to do the same. Figure out what is one thing you really have been wanting to achieve and then find one person who already has it and ask them for the advice you want. It could even be someone online. Social Media has made the world pretty small, we can actually talk to people that would never have been possible before, Use that to your advantage, what have you got to lose?
You may not want to take advice from most people because the life you’re building isn’t for most people, it’s for YOU. So choose your influencers wisely and never forget to trust your vision. Share this with three people who are a positive influence on you! I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days!
