Do you have an untrained mind?

Episode 469
Wildly Successful Lifestyle

LISTEN TO: Do you have an untrained mind?

Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 469 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! It’s as always, so good to be with you. I feel a connection to you through our time we get to spend together. Connection to others is so energizing isn’t it? When you really connect with someone it’s a good feeling. Sometimes it happens right away and sometimes it takes a little time, but either way that connection feels good. It’s part of what makes life so enjoyable is our connection with other people. So I always try to be very grateful for the relationships I have that I really enjoy.

We’re human though, and It’s easy to pick our friends and family apart. It’s easy to judge and label which isn’t bringing anyone closer. We judge people we love and we label people we love, why do we do that? We even do it to our selves, we label and judge ourselves too. Well in turns out that this is the product of an untrained mind. Don’t worry, we all do it, most of us anyway.

Because we’re human, we all have this human baggage that we’ve collected over time. And with that baggage comes preconceived ideas of what things mean which means sometimes we take things wrong or sometimes we create things in our head that just aren’t true and don’t give it time to play out before we get upset about it. We judge quickly and label readily. We react too quickly and now we’ve done or said something we regret. I’ve been really working on not speaking when I feel strongly about something, I allow myself time to process and just sort of be quiet until I don’t feel so strongly about it.

Good example…we have a friend who has very different political beliefs from us, which is fine and actually really good to help us keep an open mind about things. So we were having a conversation recently on politics with our friend that believes differently and I noticed I could tell I was getting that feeling kind of bubbling in my chest and I wanted to add my opinion to the conversation but I caught myself and said “Heidi, you’re not adding value here, maybe just sit this one out”, which I did and strangely that bubbling just went away because I love our friend and there was zero benefit to anyone for me to jump in and because I felt strongly, I knew it probably would have come off as passive aggressive which is never attractive on anyone, so I was very controlled in my response, in that I allowed myself not to respond at all because it wouldn’t have been productive, and therefore the bubbling faded away, it was really empowering to have that control of myself. I read recently that the most powerful people in a meeting are generally not the ones speaking the loudest or talking the most. It’s usually the one taking it all in and processing. Plato who is considered the “Father of Western Philosophy” had this to say “An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers”. I wish I had learned this early in life, but Im glad I am learning it now…..better late than never.

It’s so valuable to know that you don’t have to have an opinion about everything and let’s say you do, you don’t have to voice it.
It takes brain power to not force your opinion on others. It takes control of your mind to listen more than you speak. Often quiet people are too busy thinking or listening to talk. They choose their words wisely. Because words matter. Words are powerful. So the ability to be slow to speak is actually pretty powerful. When you are slow to speak, you realize there is no need to respond just because someone else says something provocative. It’s more powerful not to respond than to respond. Eric and I will often turn on a sleep story at night to help us go to sleep or back to sleep if we wake up, one of our favorites is “The Great Gatsby”. In that story at one point, one of the main characters is talking to a belligerent man who asks her who invited her or who brought her to this party, he goes on to say he braggingly that he was brought by a Rockefeller, when it came time for her to respond, she simply didn’t. She basically shook his hand, said it was nice to meet him and went on her way. No need or want at all to defend the status of how she was there. It’s a little thing but whenever I hear it I love that part….. Because It takes more brain power not to respond to a provocative statement than it does to just lash out. it shows you control your mind. Which is the most powerful thing you can do. Control your own mind. Plato is also quoted as saying “The untrained mind keeps up a running commentary, labelling everything, judging everything. Best to ignore that commentary. Don’t argue or resist, just ignore. Deprived of attention and interest, this voice gets quieter and quieter and eventually just shuts up”. I like to think this also means not allowing your thoughts to be on autopilot. When you just allow your brain to think what it wants, it goes directly to judgement and labeling which Plato reminds us means you have an untrained mind, not what any of us likes to think of ourselves but if you allow the judging and labeling to continue, you have an untrained mind and you’re not being that best version of you, but you can be, it just takes a little work. So let’s work on it together. Let’s be slow to speak, slow to throw out our opinion, slow to defend our position. Our power lies in our ability to control our mind.

My challenge to you this week is to practice training your mind by not responding if someone says something provocative. Or maybe you are having a conversation with someone and you want to inject your story too, just let them talk and maybe just be willing to be the listener just this one time, you will notice it feels really good. It’s actually quite empowering to know we actually can control our mind….let’s show ourselves that we aren’t an empty vessel, by not acting like one. Share this with 3 people who want to feel empowered. I love you guys, I’ll talk to you in a few days.

Wildly Successful Lifestyle

New Episodes Every Monday and Friday!

Where to Listen:

More from the Wildly Successful Lifestyle Podcast:

Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Wildly Successful Lifestyle
Get Access

Every Successful Person Knows their 3 Words

Submit your email below to get FREE access to the PDF and Video Guide that helps you live a Wildly Successful Life!