Has anyone seen your warrior lately?
Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 101. I decided I liked that instead of the One hundred and first episode, not sure why. Anyway, Welcome! Are you feeling the relief you thought you would feel with the onset of 2021? Is it everything you dreamed it would be? I’m saying it that way because judging from the temperature in the room so to speak, I’m not sure it’s off to such a good start, but I know why and also I know how to get around it. Each one of us has inside of us a set of powerful tools that if we use them properly will help us make decisions from different viewpoints, giving us a huge edge on life.. And if you hang out, I’m going to tell ya…
I’m going to give you a little taste of what I mean,
This last week I was going on my regular run and for whatever reason, I felt a little off. In fact at one point there was this voice in my head saying let’s just walk the rest of the way, but then something kicked in and I scanned my body and nothing was in pain, I wasn’t physically needing to stop, I was mentally wanting to stop but something happened my warrior mode kicked in and said no way, the only reason you want to walk is because it’s easier and more comfortable so yeah we are going to keep running and in fact we are going to run a little harder and that’s what I did. That was a super empowering moment for me.
Now, I generally try to focus on topics that are relevant and right now it seems like we are going through a dark period. I read a post someone wrote about how the internet used to be a way to get away from reality and now we have to have a “get away” from the internet. I know you probably think I’m going to say it’s all social media and the regular media’s fault that we are in the state we are in. But nope, I’m not gonna let us blame it on them. You know why? Because they only dish out what they know we’re gonna watch. They look at the statistics of what makes us tune in and then they double it, and triple it because that’s how they stay alive. It would be like us blaming McDonalds because we are overweight.
They wouldn’t be in business if we didn’t eat it. But they know what makes us addicted and they just keep making sure we are more and more addicted. There are so many reasons from the sugar, salt and fat content to the part of our brain that likes the economy of cheap foods and then the other part of our brain that likes consistency…You can go to any McDonald’s anywhere in the country and you KNOW the food is going to be cheap and taste amazing. Now, what it does long term isn’t so great but that dopamine hit you get…that’s what you’re after. The news and social media do the same thing. We crave that dopamine hit we get from either our side winning or the other side getting what we think is due them in a bad way of course.
The news is relevant because we make it so. Most people listening to this podcast are achievers and are always trying to make themselves better and if my research is on point would never allow themselves to eat McDonalds every day…partly because they know what it does long term to their health but also because they are trying to have a certain physical standard that doesn’t include McDonald’s French fries every day. But are we applying this same standard to our mindset? We may just be realizing the damage consuming social media and the news can do to our sanity…
You see. Happy meals used to be tiny.. Fast food meals are now 4 times the size they were in the 1950’s. What about the news? There didn’t used to be 24 hour news and of course no social media. Our social outlets were face to face. Can you imagine people talking to each other in person the way they talk to each other online? In most cases you wouldn’t be rude to someone in person because we are human, the internet depersonalizes our interaction so that sometimes we forget that person we are telling to “get a life” is actually someone’s mom or dad or best friend or sister, you just don’t know them.
So if it isn’t the media’s fault then who can we blame? I’m going to get a mirror out right now and I’m pointing to it. Because that is who to blame. We are each responsible for the choices we make.
We are hardwired to steer our own life, to want to have freedom of choice, to want to make our own decisions. That’s why America is so appealing, it’s the idea that the people are making their own choices. So if you feel like something is really off in your own life…maybe you’re letting someone else drive. Maybe you’re letting the news dictate your mood starting first thing in the morning. Maybe you’re living the life your mom or dad wanted you to live, maybe your friends are influencing you to do things you wouldn’t normally want to do if left to your own choices.. and maybe social media is causing you to look at your life like it’s boring and non consequential. This IS where I’m going to cut us all some slack. Some of these things are relatively new so we are just now learning the damage it can do. For some, social media makes them feel depressed or even worse makes them really dislike those that have different beliefs…I don’t remember a time when politics has been so toxic. It’s to the point now that it is affecting friendships and families and not in a good way. We are better than that. For others the 24 hour news gives them so much anxiety they can barely function and have to turn to buffering like drinking, eating or drugs to make them feel like they can endure. If any of these things are you…Is it time for a reset?
Our brains will be addicted to drama if we let them. Hanging out on social media or watching the news may give us a temporary dopamine hit but what is it doing to us long term? Do we need to start viewing the internet like McDonald’s? Ok every once in a while but the food we really need is whole. The things we feed our mind is as important if not more than the food we feed our body.
I have some really good news for you though.
You have a choice but you aren’t without tools to make that choice. you have helpers and they are helpers that you control but may not realize it or just maybe haven’t used them lately. What in the world am I talking about?
Here’s what I know and I was reminded this week by Tony Robbins.
Everything you need is inside you right now. Everything. You have to make the decisions though that create the life you want. No-one else is going to do it. Sometimes those decisions are hard to make but you can make them and you have the tools. A really strong tool we all have I’m going to share with you now.
We all have 4 archetypes inside us. Every single one of us, so if you’re listening to this think about that for a minute. We all have these archetypes, now for those of you like me that have to look up that word, I’m going to switch to using the word identity, it just makes it a little easier to understand. We have these 4 identities : warrior, a king or queen, a lover and a magician.
The Warrior gets things done no matter what and sometimes uses force to do it. The warrior takes action and desires clarity so that he knows exactly what needs to be done.
The Queen or king takes everything and everyone into consideration as a whole and makes decisions from that place. They lead by example and are clear and wise.
The magician is our place of creativity, problem solving, and thinking. The magician is finding our healing and our transformation. This type seeks to keep us safe and guide us especially as a child.
And the lover. The lover is our soft side, our ability to bond, to grow, to nurture, our ability to connect.
Why is this so important and wonderful and helpful to know? Because we can make decisions differently based on which mode we are in and we can choose which mode we want to be in. We don’t always want to live in Warrior mode or lover mode. Staying in lover mode might cause us to connect but not take action. When we need to make a big decision that involves others, putting on our queen or king mode will help take it all into consideration, it could also be helpful to be in queen mode if you are dealing with a difficult situation where you need to be pragmatic. We each have different descriptions of the roles these identities play.
When we use them in the best way possible we become more powerful than we ever imagined. We can do things we never thought possible. I’ll give you an example. When you are working and in work mode, you may be using your warrior identity (getting things done, taking care of business, making things happen) and when you come home if you stay in warrior mode, you bust through the door and start barking orders, everyone is on edge because the warrior is home. But what if you left the warrior at the door and turned on your lover mode where you connect with your family or your magician where you help solve problems in a creative way. It could change everything for you.
One of my other mentors, Brendon Burchard, suggests sitting in your car for a few minutes when you get home to breathe and decide who you are going to be when you walk through the door. Which identity are you going to take on when you greet your family? Let’s say someone posts something on social media that you strongly disagree with, queen mode might be helpful because they look at the entire situation and decide what is best for everyone rather than warrior mode where things could get testy. How about using magician mode when you are needing to guard yourself from certain things…get creative and maybe do an inventory and mute or un-follow the accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. The queen may need to step in when it comes to how much time we spend watching the news…this may affect our whole family. It isn’t just us taking in the fear tactics and the crisis patrol…it’s the kids too. The queen knows what’s best and takes that into consideration for the household, not giving into the thoughts in your head that wants the drama. Doesn’t matter why. Protecting your peace of mind is the most important thing right now. These are high level moves and can be super powerful in your life.
So my challenge to you this week.
Don’t let your warrior make the decisions your lover should be making. Your magician is there to guide you and safeguard you and when the queen makes an appearance anything is possible. I love you guys and I’ll talk to you in a few days.
