Hi guys! Welcome to Episode 324 of the Wildly Successful Lifestyle podcast! Welcome or welcome back if we’ve hung out before, Im glad your here. I think a lot about how to be better today than I was yesterday. And one way to do that is to be honest with ourselves about the excuses we use that just hold us back. We all do it or have done it and may be still doing it. A lot of times other people aren’t gonna call you out, so that’s why you have to be really honest with yourself….and that’s not always easy but that’s what we are talking about today….Im calling myself out in hopes that you see yourself in that little and maybe you can do the same….
I was with a design client yesterday. This is one where we have worked together before so he knows he likes what I do and we have a common trust as far as our design client relationship goes. Now. We had attempted to start this project before the holidays but it sort of stalled for a few reasons, many of them being me. and it’s now March and we are picking it back up because he reached back out and asked if we could get together to move forward on it. I was relieved to get his message because I had been a little embarrassed that I had kind of dropped the ball there and was avoiding reaching back out thinking maybe he had finished it with someone else or even just done it himself. And it had been on my mind and kind of bothering me too. So why didn’t I just reach out instead of allowing it to be an unfinished, loose end hanging out in my brain that was giving me a low level of anxiety? After analyzing it, the project is a 30 min drive there and 30 min drive back. So it’s a little more inconvenient than most of my regular clients who are within a 10 or 15 minute drive.
So we finally set an appointment to meet and I confessed to him that I was glad he reached out because I was embarrassed so much time had gone by without my following up.
What I heard myself using as an excuse with him was the holidays, and that my brother in law had died suddenly and I’ve been very focused on my older sister, Heather.
But as I was saying it. It felt like an excuse. And it’s a good excuse. It’s very very true. But my gut feeling is that I was using that excuse because it wasn’t the most convenient job I have. I have been spending a day a week with Heather just helping her with life in general and that’s a big change But that’s one day out of my week. I had the time, it was just more convenient to not pick that project back up.
This last week my husband Eric asked me about Toastmasters. I again heard myself say well when Steve (that’s my brother in law) died toastmasters just fell off my radar.
So there I was again, using that same excuse for the reason I dropped off going to Toastmasters. Something that really brought me joy but also a lot of discomfort. Toastmasters is on Friday mornings at 7am. Zero reason for me not to be picking that back up. Of course missing a few when my brother in law died was a must. At this point the excuse is no longer valid. I’m using it for convenience.
And look. I know some of you right now are thinking lighten up. Thats hard when you lose a family member. And it is. But it makes it a lot harder when you stop the things that bring you joy and fulfillment and make your life better. I think we have forgotten that there are always going to be hard things that happen in life. Life will be hard And then it’s going to be fun and easy and then it’s going to be hard again. That’s just what 100% of humans go through. So, If we drop good habits every time something hard happens in life, we will have no good habits left. And we will constantly feel like we are fighting an uphill battle because we stop and start good habits so they feel hard all the time.
Maybe you do this with the gym. Going to the gym used to be a chore for me. Now it’s just part of my life that I cannot live without because I’ve done it so consistently without stopping. Even through the hard times I don’t stop exercising, it’s a part of my life. A lot of times it still feels like a chore but it’s nonnegotiable for me. Sometimes we drop things when life gets hard because it’s convenient. Like me dropping toastmasters or a project that’s a little farther away then I prefer.
So I’m calling myself out for using an excuse, no matter how justifiable it is, to not do the things I know I should be doing or to stop doing the things that make me better. Toastmasters makes me better. It makes me uncomfortable yes but it’s making me better. Leaving loose ends like calling my client back or other things that are bothering me is mind drama that is unnecessary. I’m making a list of things today that I’ve been putting off or that have been creating a little mind drama and I’m going to make a decision on each of them. No more excuses.
Things will happen that are really really hard but we can’t stop doing the things that make us better when they happen. People around you will tell you it’s ok to take time off and it is of course but you have to decide for yourself and really be honest with yourself on when you’re using it as an excuse or not. And only you will know this and it’s important to be honest with yourself because other people meaning well will keep you in that place of being a victim to the hard things in your life.
I was listening to a podcast with lex Friedman. He was interviewing Mr Beast. I would think probably my listeners don’t know who that is. He’s a 24 year you tuber. He holds the record for most consistently having the most watched videos on Youtube. Like 100’s of millions of views. He’s in another universe. He’s a hard driver. But He said he doesn’t surround himself with yes men and he doesn’t surround himself with people that encourage him to not play full out. He listens to his gut and he knows when he needs to rest and when he doesn’t.
That’s what I expect from myself. To know when I’m making up excuses and when I’m not.
To know when I’m just uncomfortable and using an excuse to get out of it. If something’s uncomfortable and your looking for an excuse to not do it, just give yourself a day or two and you’ll have something. We know that to be true. Hard things are unpredictable. That’s why they are so hard you can’t prepare for them. That’s why you have to be honest with yourself. The whole world had a really big hard thing happen globally in 2020. Forever will be remembered and for some, forever will be used as an excuse.
We had a global pandemic. It was hard. The key word is had. It was tough. Standards went out the window. Norms were lost. Good habits were stopped and bad habits almost encouraged. Have zoom happy hour every night. Don’t leave your house. Don’t go to the gym. Order your groceries so you don’t have to go out. Covid is over. If you’re still using it as an excuse for your extra 15 lbs or your lack of social connection or your not getting back to work, maybe it’s time to call yourself out.
Covid is one of many good excuses any of us can use on a given day. We all have reasons we could justifiably come up with to quit our good habits or add bad habits.
Excuses are convenient but they’re dream killers. Excuses give us outs but they cripple us. Excuses are rampant and have no place in a wildly successful lifestyle.
And some people will say how dare you take my excuse from me. And to that I empathize. But I want to say back to you How dare you give one more ounce of your power away. Bad stuff happens to good people every single day. It’s how you bounce back that matters.
My challenge to you today is to think about any good habits that you’ve dropped or any bad habits that you’ve picked up. Is there a convenient excuse you’re using to justify them? Only you can answer that, maybe it’s time you call yourself out. Share this episode with 3 people who will benefit or are human. Because that’s who needs to hear it. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.