Hi guys! Welcome to episode 290 of the wildly successful Lifestyle podcast. My audio sounds different because I’m recording from my older sisters home, I’ll tell you why in just a little bit.
But first of all I have a question for you…do you ever make a decision to do something because someone else wanted you to but then you do it begrudgingly or maybe the whole time you just keep reminding yourself of why you didn’t want to do it so you make yourself and everyone around you miserable?
If you don’t want to do something. Why are you doing it? I’m asking that because It’s really helpful to know your why. And if you decide to do something you don’t want to do, is there a way you can line up with that decision and actually embrace it and find a way to enjoy it?
We live in a world that completely revolves around us. My world revolves around me and your world revolves around you. But there’s a little kink here because I live in a world where there are other people that live there too. And that’s where it gets messy. Doesn’t it? Because sometimes we end up doing things that someone else would like for us to do even though we don’t want to.
Ultimately though. We do choose. And when we choose, it’s really helpful to get behind that choice. There’s no use resenting or blaming or guilting because we had a choice. We love having other people in our lives but We all have to remember that every single decision We make is our own responsibility. No one can make me do something I don’t want to do and when I do it, that’s my choice and I’ve learned to find someway to line up with it. You have to focus more on why you’re doing it instead of why you didn’t want to in the first place.
This past weekend we went to Gainsville, Florida for a wedding. This was someone I had never met. In fact I knew no one there. My husband had friends from the air force 30 years ago and he had reconnected with them recently when one passed away. So my husband knew several people but I did not. Honestly it wasn’t something I was dying to do but you know what? Of course I went. You know why? Because I love being with my husband, I also know it’s something that made him very happy. I chose to do something I wasn’t looking necessarily excited about and I lined up with it, by lining up with it I focused on the reasons I chose to go instead of the reasons I didn’t want to go, we had a wonderful time I met beautiful new friends and got to see how happy it made my husband to be with friends from his past. That’s what I want to focus on. Even when I was sitting at a campsite with his buddies in 90 degree weather for 4 hours, sitting on a bale of hay in my long sleeve shirt and blue jeans, I just kept thinking look how happy my husband is reminiscing about old times and laughing and having a good time. I don’t regret one moment of that trip.
A wise counselor once said my wife loves to shop, it makes her happy. He said I don’t love to shop but I go shopping with my wife because I love to be with her and I love to see her happy. He could focus the whole time on how miserable he is shopping and ruin her time too but instead he focuses on how happy it makes her and how much joy he gets from that. It’s about your focus. When you make a decision remember to focus on the reason you’re doing it not the reason you don’t want to do it.
Lining up with your decisions especially the ones you make that you ultimately didn’t want to is one of the best things you can do to make life better. And in my opinion only, If you can’t find a way to line up with a decision, then don’t do it.
My life this week has reminded me that life is too short to hold resentments or blame. I say that because my older sister Heather, I’ve talked about her before, yesterday she was working in the yard with her husband and he had a heart attack and died right there in her yard. No warning. No signs at all. He was working on a raised bed garden for her vegetable plants and just like that he’s gone from us.
Love your friends and family like it may be the last time you see them. It just might be. And take responsibility for every decision you make. if you decide to do something simply because of someone else line up with it and do it with joy. I love you guys. I’ll talk to you in a few days.
